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Craziest sex idea you had as a child


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Ah, the age of innocence.  Do you remember when you first tried to figure this sex thing out?

As a child I though that you had to pee into a womans bellybutton to get her pregnant.  It made perfect sense at the time.

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Original Post by knowan:

Ah, the age of innocence.  Do you remember when you fist tried to figure this sex thing out?

As a child I though that you had to pee into a womans bellybutton to get her pregnant.  It made perfect sense at the time.

Freudian slip?

Oops Surprised, fixed Foot in mouth.

Well, when I was...seven? eight? (is that old to be learning this stuff? I have no idea) I saw on TV a man and woman lying in bed together, covered by a sheet but clearly naked. After that the woman was dressed and heading downstairs and saw her husband (I think, this is a fuzzy memory) and she got nervous and told him "I've only tried it once!" and he said "What?" and she said "...tobacco."

So I was convinced that sex was a man and woman lying in bed together naked and it was called "tobacco."

My friend told me other wise. And demonstrated with Barbie and Ken. Ah, innocence. At least she gave me the talk, my parents never would have :P

 

Gawds. My mother, incredibly inappropriately of course, gave me 'the talk' from the time I was about 6 or 7. I think it was the hippie in her.

When I asked my grandmother, at age 8 where my vagina was, she immediately demanded I refer to it as a 'tu-tu'.

So...sort of a reverse WTF???

thank god for my progressive education which told us exactly how babies are made in science class when we were 7.  i remember sitting there and thinking "wait?  did he really just say that?"

In the Kitchen.

*obscure "Newly Wed Game" reference

Original Post by aasil:

thank god for my progressive education which told us exactly how babies are made in science class when we were 7.  i remember sitting there and thinking "wait?  did he really just say that?"

Heh. Despite my crazy mother's best efforts it was a very long time before I found out the precise mechanics of the procedure.

Original Post by trh:

In the Kitchen.

*obscure "Newly Wed Game" reference

Ha! Wasn't the memorable answer something like 'in the rear'?

I thought male and female had sperm and they met in the middle and BAM... baby.

I mean just like that. 

#10  
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Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by trh:

In the Kitchen.

*obscure "Newly Wed Game" reference

Ha! Wasn't the memorable answer something like 'in the rear'?


Now that was a memorable episode!
Original Post by kathygator:

Gawds. My mother, incredibly inappropriately of course, gave me 'the talk' from the time I was about 6 or 7. I think it was the hippie in her.

When I asked my grandmother, at age 8 where my vagina was, she immediately demanded I refer to it as a 'tu-tu'.

So...sort of a reverse WTF???

Haha!!!! My mom was like this! I asked about it and I never got the "when a mommy and daddy" speech.

Although she was kind of pushed in a corner with it.

After my parents had my little sister, I was about 5. And I finally got curious where she came from when I was about 7, so I asked my older sister. She was a mean kid, lol.

She looked at me with all the seriousness a 9 year old could have and told me

"Mommy has to eat babies so that way the go into her tummy. Then when she gets full after eating babies then she can poop out her baby!"

I was convinced for six months that my mother had to eat babies.

My mom finally told me what actually goes on....which was kind of hand-in-hand with the sex talk.

At least, that's how I remember it. Lol.

 

I remember being about three or four, flipping out over the idea that had just transpired in my head, running to my mother and screaming, "I don't wanna have a baby when I'm 18!"

I had seen something on TV where a mother was telling a daughter that grown-up women had babies. Then I recalled my own mother telling me that I'd be a grown-up when I was 18. By my logic, I'd automatically get pregnant when I turned 18.

And since my mom is **** at explanations, I then labored for a couple horrifying years under the impression that even thinking about sex would cause me to get pregnant.

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by trh:

In the Kitchen.

*obscure "Newly Wed Game" reference

Ha! Wasn't the memorable answer something like 'in the rear'?

Her answer was in the A**, his answer was in the kitchen.

Original Post by kotov_syndrome:

I remember being about three or four, flipping out over the idea that had just transpired in my head, running to my mother and screaming, "I don't wanna have a baby when I'm 18!"

I had seen something on TV where a mother was telling a daughter that grown-up women had babies. Then I recalled my own mother telling me that I'd be a grown-up when I was 18. By my logic, I'd automatically get pregnant when I turned 18.

And since my mom is **** at explanations, I then labored for a couple horrifying years under the impression that even thinking about sex would cause me to get pregnant.

I remember being little and asking why women that weren't married didn't have babies (in those days they didn't), I didn't get an explanation.

i once asked my mom if you had a baby by making out (like i knew what that was, lingo from my older cousins i suppose) she said.. well, sort of.. so i basically thought that if i laid on top of a boy and pecked him for a long time i would have a baby. lol

Original Post by thesuperbex:

I thought male and female had sperm and they met in the middle and BAM... baby.

I mean just like that. 

Wait, what, that's not it?

Kathy, I was told to call it a tu-tu also. I thought it was something my mom made up. I didn't realize other people called it that too.

My middle school sex ed was horrible and I thought it was hugging while only wearing underwear. I had to figure out what it was on my own, for some reason my mom didn't try to give me the sex talk until I was 20.

I'm 99% sure I was told something along the lines of...

"God puts a little baby in a mommy's tummy when the mommy and daddy love each other very much."

I had no idea babies came out of a suzy!!!

Also, why do/did parents say that eating watermelon seeds will make a watermelon grow inside your belly? That's like telling a child not to eat the cookies in the jar when I walk away and am not looking! :P

Original Post by nmward:

Kathy, I was told to call it a tu-tu also. I thought it was something my mom made up. I didn't realize other people called it that too.

Ha! Me too. :D

I was 7 and the book on Kamasutra in my uncle library was the beginning for me. I spent so many hours in that library.

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