Dear Santa...

Dear Santa Claus,

I have been a very good girl this year, mostly.  And even if I have not been a good girl, I have pictures of you with that cute little elf chick from the doll factory that Mrs. Claus may be interested in, but I'd be willing to keep them to myself if you give me what I want for Christmas.  I would like...

• to find out that Bill Gates' favorite child needs a kidney and I am the only person in the universe that's a match.
• the squirrels to vacate my attic.
• a metabolism that naturally burns 3000 calories a day.
• a Post-Its treasure chest package.
• HUGH JACKMAN to finally and openly declare his undying love for me.
• an end to flatulance.

Thank you for your consideration of this list. 

Sincerely,

pavlovkitteh

There's also Yoshi.

Original Post by amethystgirl:

Original Post by kathygator:

Further action, however, may be taken against SCI if said naughty boys and girls are not compensated with the receipt of at least one (1) toy on Christmas morning.

It has been my observation that the children best suited for the naughty list are often the ones who receive the most gifts.

 Boy, I'll drink to that!

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by pavlovcat:

Original Post by kathygator:

Guido is a big burly Italian with an attitude, a few tattoos and a rather intimidating yule log... he needs no back-up. But thanks for the offer. ;)

 Hands off the yule log gator.  It belongs to me.

I was merely commenting on the quality of his wood, Pav. No harm done.

  I thought you were talking about his gun. 

  *wonders if Guido has nutty fudge balls*

Dear Santa - while my exwife may say I wasnt very nice this year (well thats her story and shes sticking to it) I really was a good boy this year....however, please do not send any priest robes just yet....or white straight jackets either...oh and BTW I swear I didnt shoot Blitzen

P.S.  You may want to also look through some of the forums here to get some ideas and cut back on the milk and cookies.

Edit :  Oh and one more thing could you fill the stockings this year and leave her under the tree?  Thanks!

Dear Santa,

This year for the holidays CHRISTMAS I don't want toys or phones or computers or i-pods or even my usual money-in-an-envelope from my favorite uncle Bob.  I simply want a job.

Thanks for your consideration.

From your keyboard to Santa's ear, darlin'.

Original Post by pavlovcat:

Original Post by vanexxag:

Dear Santa:

Please get me out of this funk

V.

 

 *gooses vanex*

There, did that work?

Yup! Thanks!

V.

Oh Santa!

I can't wait for you to come

I just can't wait for you to come

And I've got cookies

Three yummy cookies

Only for you for when you come

Only for you for when you come

Because it's Christmas

Original Post by vanexxag:

Original Post by pavlovcat:

Original Post by vanexxag:

Dear Santa:

Please get me out of this funk

V.

 

 *gooses vanex*

There, did that work?

Yup! Thanks!

V.

 

 *pats vanex on the rump*

We aim to please.

Dear Santa,

Please send SLO, TB, Abbey, & Iggy to the Redwood Forest. I hear you can get a lot of rain and there is big wood.

Thank you,

Buggy

dear santa,

you know i don't celebrate christmas(with my immediate family) but am perfectly happy visiting other ppl during christmas. I never miss a single gift exchanging session(receiving giving more than giving receiving)and i sing ruldoph the red-nosed reindeer every christmas although i only know two lines.

and i'm sorry that we don't see eye to eye occasionally(every christmas) when i insist on a proper santa delivery with the sleigh,reindeers etc and you insisting that fed-ex is the way to go.and that the reindeers didn't like the humid weather .....

anyway, i've been good this whole year, never got into any trouble, (saintly XD),

except  for maybe a few scraps which weren't my fault at all! i worked oh-so-hard in school so i would like..

1) a super fast metabolism

2) a great vacation

3) driving license and a car

4) talk to HUGH JACKMAN, after he professes his undying love for pavlov

5) represent my country in the olympics for swimming.

6) attend olympics 2012 in london(spectator/participant..whichever,i'm not picky)

Stinkypillow, I hope you get all your wishes, especially the swimming and Hugh Jackman ones.

Dear Santa,

Considering your experience in stealthy entrances and secret visits, I thought it would be more appropriate to ask you to rob the bank near my apartment instead of doing it myself, as I am very likely to get caught. I will leave partially wrapped empty boxes under my tree, and you can deposit the money inside and finish the wrapping job yourself. This way no one will suspect, and I will have the cash injection I need and be able to pay for the 10,000 things that seem to crop up every time I think I might possibly have spending money. Please feel free to keep a small percentage of the cash for yourself for a job well done. I will leave some Jack Daniel's on the kitchen table, but please don't fall on my cats and squash them when you get wasted. Also, let Rudolph drive.

Regards,
Broke McBrokington

*jots happyfish's name on my Brilliant but Nefarious list for those times when morality just won't do*

Dear Santa,

You're a fraud.

Mooni

shouldn't that be 'a$$hat'?

If the a$$hat fits, it can be worn.

Original Post by buggyhair:

Dear Santa,

Please send SLO, TB, Abbey, & Iggy to the Redwood Forest. I hear you can get a lot of rain and there is big wood.

Thank you,

Buggy

 woohoo!!!

(ps - i just choked on my muffin.  thanks bugs)

Sometimes morals are overrated, especially when they are not convenient.

Listen you little twerp.  Where do you get off making little kids cry? Seems to me you'r taking your job description far to seriously.  You aren't exactly a shining example of labour equity.  While you recline on your butt, quaff milk and stuff yourself with cookies, your reindoor are drooping outside, frozen, and starving.  I noticed that you have quite a rotund figure - nay even stout.  Seems to me you  have grazed once too often at Mrs. Clause' table.  Of course it's not her fault that you eat her out of her North Pole home.  After all you're old enough to cook for yourself.  I'd wager you don't even bring home the bacon what with your belly full of cookies.  Here are my gifts to you:

1.  An anger management course for Mrs. Clause and the reindeer, to get over having to live with you.

2.  A holiday for said persons in #1 to Disney World.  Oh the warmth of it all!

3.  For you a piece of coal in those red velvet boots you wear.

4.  A free mebership to Calorie Count.  I bet you won't do it - I know your type. You'd rather be round.

You need a shave and a haircut while I'm at it.  Ever heard of a barbershop?  And stop wearing blusher.

I'm a bitter woman since you never brought me a vigorous old man for my golden years.  Bah! Humbug!