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Don't hate me because I'm beautiful


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Have we talked about Samantha Brick?!  Why haven't we or how did I miss it?

For those who don't know, she's the Daily Mail writer who wrote an "article" describing her life experience as a beautiful woman.  Basically, she said that while her beauty has worked to her advantage in some cases, overall, she's felt discriminated against and hated and envied by most of the women she's come into contact with.  Overall message:  "It's hard being so pretty."

What do you guys think?  Did you read it?

I'm reading her reply to all the backlash right now.  The reply to the backlash that she claims only proves her point.

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Honestly, I don't think she's a bad looking woman, so I don't really understand all of the people piling on and calling her ugly.

I applaud her for her self-esteem, but I wonder if it's not bordering on narcissism.  That attitude may be what's causing her problems.  If her major complaints are that other women constantly dislike her simply because she's pretty, female bosses won't promote her because they're intimidated by her beauty, and that friends have never asked her to be a bridesmaid because of it... well, maybe it's not just that you're so insanely gorgeous.  I've known plenty of very lovely, very well-liked people.

Two words - "silly cow".

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

Have we talked about Samantha Brick?!  Why haven't we or how did I miss it?

For those who don't know, she's the Daily Mail writer who wrote an "article" describing her life experience as a beautiful woman.  Basically, she said that while her beauty has worked to her advantage in some cases, overall, she's felt discriminated against and hated and envied by most of the women she's come into contact with.  Overall message:  "It's hard being so pretty."

What do you guys think?  Did you read it?

I'm reading her reply to all the backlash right now.  The reply to the backlash that she claims only proves her point.

I saw her on one of the morning shows this morning. I'd heard about this woman who claimed her life was soooo hard because she was beautiful. For a woman to make a claim like that, I truly expected her to have this ethereal glow about her because she was gorgeous in a way no one had ever seen before.

Instead...she's just normal. She's not a knock-out but she's certainly not ugly either. I think if you're having that many problems with your interpersonal relationships, it should become obvious at some point that maybe you're the one having difficulties and not everyone surrounding you. But to jump from "I need to work on my x skills set" to "I'm being held back because I'm so beautiful it makes every other woman I come into contact with wildly jealous" is a bit off-center.

Original Post by lilsammi23:

Honestly, I don't think she's a bad looking woman, so I don't really understand all of the people piling on and calling her ugly.


I don't think she's ugly, but I certainly don't think she's the type of woman who would encite riots and wars and hatred with her beauty.  She's actually very plain.  I certainly wouldn't feel jealous of or intimidated by her.

I do think, though, that the people who jumped on the bandwagon to call her ugly and ridicule her sort of missed the point.  Sure, she drew attention to herself by writing an article about how gorgeous she is, but the point is that no one should be either valued or devalued based solely on their looks

I will admit that, in the past, I was more resistent to get to know or be friendly with really pretty women.  I was just really insecure.  And usually assumed they were stuck up or unpleasant people.

While she is a noticably attractive woman, she doesn't come off to me as overwhelmingly and radiantly stunning, either.  I have no reason whatsoever to not like her - I'm in no position to verify or deny her own personal experiences, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt on her descriptions of them.  Personally, it would have freaked me out too if anonymous men were trying to give me flowers and buy me drinks (not that it's ever happened...)

At first I was just guessing that in her line of work, there may be more of an emphasis on attractiveness, but she also described how this was occurring in her neighborhood and with her friends, and my first thought was "Wow, she knows some really shallow people."

So, if her article is accurate, yeah, I can see why's she's irritated.  Heck regardless of accuracy, if that's how she is perceiving those events, her feelings are still valid. 

But I have to wonder what incident or influence prompted her to decide to write an article about it which, quite frankly, comes off as a little self righteous and whiny.  I also wonder what kind of article she would have written if she was always passed over because she wasn't blonde and thin.

There is some truth to this.    Watch a group of womens faces as they watch a really attractive woman walk by.  Their faces will get all scrunched up into a scowl. Their noses wrinkle as if in disgust, then usually end up making some caddy remark under their breath about the woman.   Maybe about her clothing, or make-up.  Or saying something to the affect of," She sure thinks she's all that."

 

ETA: Also wanted to say...  My daughter has this problem. She is a very much above average beauty. Kid's (especially girls) her age, automatically make assumptions about her being stuck-up or thinking she is too good for them.   But guess what?  It takes a little extra effort, she has to be nicer and sweeter, but she wins them over.  She tells me after she has known someone for a few months they will almost always say something like," Wow, I sure thought you were a **** when I first met you but you are actually really nice!"   lol.  They think its a compliment I guess.  And it is... in a way.

I've known far more beautiful women who are also well liked by people of both genders.  Not saying that she isn't good looking (although her face isn't enough to have launch'd a thousand ships).  She might want to blame the way she is treated by women on her looks, but I find it difficult to believe that her personality didn't play some role.

I agree with AG. I think her personality and the way she's perceiving the events that happen around her have more to do with it than her looks. I understand the point of the article, and maybe she did just want to write an article about how looks can change the way people act around you, but at the same time I think she's giving her looks more credit than what is probably reality. 

Original Post by amethystgirl:

I've known far more beautiful women who are also well liked by people of both genders.  Not saying that she isn't good looking (although her face isn't enough to have launch'd a thousand ships).  She might want to blame the way she is treated by women on her looks, but I find it difficult to believe that her personality didn't play some role.

I agree.  I have several particularly beautiful friends who have plenty of girlfriends.  Prettiness alone doesn't seem to induce enmity.  Being narcissistic can, though.

Oh geez...

The statement "no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman" appears in her reply article.

Really?  Really???  Pretty women are the most reviled people on the planet?  Wow, I had no idea.  I didn't realize the hatred and abuse had reached global proportions.  My goodness.  This must mean I'm hideously ugly, because I've made it so far in my life without feeling reviled for my looks. 

She's either a terrible, overly dramatic writer or a deluded narcissist.  Or both.  Yes, I think both.

Original Post by lareina:

 then usually end up making some caddy remark under their breath

Like,

I hope she uses her 7 iron.

Cool

Tongue out

Laughing

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

The statement "no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman" appears in her reply article.

Mass murderer... meh. Child raper... whatevs.

Pretty woman? Draw and quarter her - she deserves it.

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by lareina:

 then usually end up making some caddy remark under their breath

Like,  

I hope she uses her 7 iron.

Or I wonder how many bottle of shampoo she can fit in there?

 

Wonders if anyone at all will get my terrible joke...

 

Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Original Post by lareina:

 then usually end up making some caddy remark under their breath

Like,

I hope she uses her 7 iron.


Oops. LMAO.  Catty.  :))

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be focusing on her looks so much but...

I just can't understand.  I don't see her as the type of woman that men would send bottles of champagne to on a plane or across a bar or anything.  She doesn't seem remarkable at all to me.  Maybe some guys can weigh in?  Maybe she lives in a small village comprised of mostly old, toothless, unbathed bald women?  I just don't even think I would notice her in a crowded room...or a not so crowded one. 

It's sort of the opposite of how I used to be.  I really believed that I was so hideous, so grotesque and unattractive and awful, that people were gawking at me on the street.  I hated walking into a room of people because I assumed I caused a bit of shock and repulsion with my appearance.  I'm only now beginning to understand how truly unaware everyone around me is and how much they just don't notice.

She looks like a normal woman?  If you're going to say something as egotistical as "don't hate me because i'm beautiful" or something of that nature you'd better be pretty  far above average, either physically or personality wise.  All I see from her is a normal broad with the personality of a slug (at least based solely on her article). 

eeugh.

Had not heard of her and had to go track down her original article to get the full picture.  Um, er... no pun intended there.

And while I commend her confidence, I'm gonna have to go out on a limb here and say her attitude has likely been to her detriment more so than her appearance. 

She just doesn't have that "golden ratio" that would put her in a league with the truly beautiful that would inspire all of the hatred and jealously that she complains of.  As far as random gentlemen paying for things... sometimes it's just a random act of kindness.  I once had a guy in front of me at the drive-thru of Starbucks pay for my order.  Was it because I was a raging beauty and he could see that through his rearview mirror?  Nope.  He was just paying it forward.  I, in turn, paid for the car behind me.  Drinks in bars are the same thing... sometimes the gentlemen doing the paying just want a segway into getting to know someone better, and perhaps some company.  Anytime it's ever happened to me, I would talk with them, have a few laughs, get to know someone that I may have not met otherwise, and buy the next round.  Didn't necessarily mean they thought I was a knock-out, but I that I looked like someone they may like to get to know better. 

She let it go to her head.

And for the record, my husband appears to be the 11th out of 10 guys.  I had her article up, pulled him over and asked, "Just based on the pictures alone, what do you think of this lady?  Would you do her?"  (Got me a "WHAT?!")  He looked at her, "eh... No.  She's okay, but I don't really go for blondes and she wouldn't draw my eye if I were out and about."  This is the same man that had a thing for Angelina Jolie for years and made no bones about it - not drooling or anything, but he did like the way she looked (until her crazy showed... that was rather a turnoff for him).

For me?  I'm not intimidated by other women and their looks.  I think all women have *something* about them that is beautiful, even if it isn't readily apparent in all of us, and I actively look for it.  Have occasionally been envious of another's fashion sense, but would never hate her for it.  Maybe just try to talk her into shopping for me.  But then again, I've never really understood the way most women think so I'm probably in the minority. 

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be focusing on her looks so much but...

I just can't understand.  I don't see her as the type of woman that men would send bottles of champagne to on a plane or across a bar or anything.  She doesn't seem remarkable at all to me.  Maybe some guys can weigh in?  Maybe she lives in a small village comprised of mostly old, toothless, unbathed bald women?  I just don't even think I would notice her in a crowded room...or a not so crowded one. 

It's sort of the opposite of how I used to be.  I really believed that I was so hideous, so grotesque and unattractive and awful, that people were gawking at me on the street.  I hated walking into a room of people because I assumed I caused a bit of shock and repulsion with my appearance.  I'm only now beginning to understand how truly unaware everyone around me is and how much they just don't notice.

Plus I have a gassy unicorn. That makes me stand out..oh yeah, and my massive rogaine prescription.

I notice that I'm in the minority as a chap answering this. I had to google her, as I'd never heard of her. Well for me I'd say she's moderately attractive, and I've not come across resentment against attractive women or beautiful women.

 

 

You don't have to be a raving beauty to have other women jealous of how you look. For one, raving beauties in the real world are not that common anyway. There are lots of average pretty girls who are stylish that incite envy from other women. I've been jealous of pretty girls who may not have been Halle Berry beautiful but they had a certain look, style or body type that I wish I had.

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