Engagement Rings - Let's Talk $$

This is something I've been thinking about lately. My engagement ring is tiny, cute, and awesome. He got me a garnet like I mentioned once upon a time. I think he spent upwards of about $200 on it, paid it all in one go.

My coworker got engaged over Christmas. She and fiance just put a down payment on a house - her fiance's boss donated the cash for it. Her fiance secretly squirreled away money while pretending he had to pay his boss back. She has a giant ring on her finger now, paid for by money they could have been using for renovations on their new home (not to mention they had to buy a bunch of appliances and furniture).

If I was her I'd be mad - but she loves it.

Why is it that some people are only satisfied by a ring that cost an entire year's salary? Is it fun having to make payments on that sucker? Once you marry the guy you're responsible for half his debt...I don't think that's particularly romantic. If I'd been offered a ring I knew he couldn't afford, I would have crapped my pants with worry about our finances.

I like my tiny cute ring. What does/did/do you want yours to look like? Do you like giant rocks?

My ring is perfectly sized for my hand. Small, and a low profile so that it doesn't catch on clothes.

I don't understand people who go into debt for a ring. I'm all for spending money on the things that you value, based on your own financial situation, and there are some things (a house) that make sense to go into debt for. A ring, in my opinion, is not one of those things. If a guy and gal can afford a big ring and that's what they want to spend money on, fine. But if you have to go into debt for a ring, you can't afford the ring.

I still remember a friend talking about how funny she found her fiance's surprised reaction when he got his first payment bill for her ring. As you say, his debts were going to become her debts. I don't get why she'd be happy about that.

  I want a round cut solitaire set in white gold or platinum. It doesn't have to be huge, and I DEFINTIELY don't want my boyfriend to put himself into debt for it.  I totally agree that it’s crazy to put yourself into a huge amount of debt for a ring, especially before you own property or if you have other debt.  

The first engagement ring I got cost me $650, paid for by a student loan.

It turned her finger green.

I took it back to the jewler and complained, and he offered me a $1200 ring for the same price.  It looked great, so I took the deal.

She liked it so much that when we got married we went and got a wedding band custom made to match it for about $250 plus another $200 for my own custom band.

We were university students at the time.  I was making enough to pay for my university and expenses, but I had to take out a student loan for the rings (and later another for the honeymoon).  I graduated $5000 in debt to pay for it all.

Original Post by knowan:

The first engagement ring I got cost me $650, paid for by a student loan.

It turned her finger green.

Certain metals turn my mother's fingers green, no matter the price. For $650 though - he better give a refund, wow. At least you got a nice ring out of it.

We ordered our wedding bands, in total we spent about $500 (for the both of us). No debt, no problem.

Hubby got me a simple one stone lab created emerald ring with two teenie tiny diamonds on either side of it - and I loved it.  It cost him $150, and didn't put him into debt.  When having off hand conversations about rings, the only thing I mentioned was 1. I like emeralds over diamonds and 2. spending a ridiculous amount of money on me for jewlery is stupid - I just don't particularly appreciate it. 

But looking back on it, I was so excited to be with him that he could have given me an engraved cracker jack box ring (ala Breakfast at Tiffany's) and I would have been thrilled.

My dislike of jewlery has only increased over the years as I've learned more about the precious metal and gemstone industries, so even if I did want anymore I would insist on it being recycled stuff.

As for the OP and why people buy into the asinine "two months salary" standard - it's because the jewlery industry and DeBeers have a good marketing campaign and have convinced a lot of romantic suckers people that's the way it's supposed to be.

Original Post by santonacci:

As for the OP and why people buy into the asinine "two months salary" standard - it's because the jewlery industry and DeBeers have a good marketing campaign and have convinced a lot of romantic suckers people that's the way it's supposed to be.

Marketing...I don't know why that wasn't my first thought. I do enjoy sparkle and I want it to look nice - but who's going to know how much it cost anyway? I have plenty of homemade jewelry that looks nicer than anything I'd have to spend a fortune on.

My engagement ring is Nick's great-great-grandmother's diamond, in a setting he and the jeweler designed.  It's a pretty extravagant ring.  If his mom and sister hadn't offered him that diamond to give to me, I'm sure he would have chosen a much more modest ring, and like Santo, I'd have been fine with a ring from a Cracker Jack box or vending machine.... but I really am glad to have the one I do.  It's new but it's an heirloom.  Pretty awesome, I think.

I got an engagement flat-screen TV instead of a ring.

We got married without an engagement ring.   I would like a nice ring because it seems rings are the only things i don't lose or break.

the stones we have are from our good friend's parents.  they go mining and they gave us two lilac stones (not sure exactly what they are since i haven't seen them) to use for a ring.

hubby lost them so as soon as we find them we're getting them set.

Original Post by floggingsully:

I got an engagement flat-screen TV instead of a ring.

 Now that kicks ****...

My fiancee bought me a $3K ring.

I HATE that he spent that much, esp. because I use to work in Jewelry and know what a rip off it is.  Oh well. I wouldn't trade it. When I look at it, it reminds me of how he purposed.  And $3k isn't even one months salary for him, so he, I believe, spent a reasonable amount.

We just purchased our wedding bands and I got the style I originally wanted in an engagement ring (but both look great together or apart).  Both my ring and his cost less combined than the engagement ring alone...we got a great deal. 

I think the total worth on my finger is about $3600, but looks way more.

We designed and discussed our unique ring ensemble. We prepared to make the engagement ring a part of the finished wedding ring set. We got our quotes on price and labor and have kept the draftings of the rings.

But we never made them.

We just couldn't agree that owning the ring was worth it financially, so I have no ring. 

The same happened with our wedding. We ended up heading to a Justice of the Peace instead of spending money on dress, flowers, invites, foods, entertainment. We did not go on a vacation honeymoon either. 

I guess when it comes down to it we can't justify expenses like these and so we don't make them. However, I have a house and a car and our family is well fed, we are, apart from the house mortgage which is cheaper than rent and the car payment which is light as well, debt free and able to save.

I guess it was a trade-off we were willing to make.

I have a nice solitaire, but we bought our house first and only spent 50.00 on our wedding. I did all the cooking for the reception. My sister on the other hand spent $12,000 on her wedding and is getting divorced. At least a ring can be sold, but the wedding money is gone forever.

I would have been fine with a simple ring, but DH wanted to wait to propose until he could buy me a more expensive ring. To him it symbolized growing up and starting a new chapter in his life, and he wanted to 'do it right' (according to his definition) which meant saving money and buying me a $3k ring.

He did make payments on it but he paid for about half when he bought it and had the rest paid off in about a year I believe. I would have been fine with much less than that, but that was how he wanted to do it and I respected that.

And of course I LOVE my ring and am proud that he wanted to put so much effort into getting it for me. 

Mine is a simple .5 **** solitaire that I wear with a plain white gold wedding band.  We spent less than $1000 on the engagement ring and both wedding bands.  I'm not a fine jewelry person so I didn't care much about getting something elaborate or large.  I'd also rather save the money for a house and children.

Also I'm a student on an urban campus and ride public transportation to class, sometimes at night.  I didn't want to wear something flashy that would attract too much attention if I was waiting for or walking to and from the bus in the dark.

My husband wanted to get me something fancier, so I told him that if he still felt that way in 10 years he could get me a nice anniversary band or something.  I have a feeling neither of us will want to spend the money then, either. :)

Original Post by lisarose7:

My husband wanted to get me something fancier, so I told him that if he still felt that way in 10 years he could get me a nice anniversary band or something.  I have a feeling neither of us will want to spend the money then, either. :)

 My hubby bought me a simple "past present future" lab created emerald ring very similar to my engagement ring for our 10 yr anniversary- inexpensive, and  I love it.  It's the only piece of jewelry I consistently wear.

BTW, I love your wedding pic lisarose - you look beautiful!

Original Post by santonacci:

Original Post by lisarose7:

My husband wanted to get me something fancier, so I told him that if he still felt that way in 10 years he could get me a nice anniversary band or something.  I have a feeling neither of us will want to spend the money then, either. :)

 My hubby bought me a simple "past present future" lab created emerald ring very similar to my engagement ring for our 10 yr anniversary- inexpensive, and  I love it.  It's the only piece of jewelry I consistently wear.

BTW, I love your wedding pic lisarose - you look beautiful!

 Aw, thanks! :)  Your ring sounds gorgeous.

Husband and I both have simple bands of 24k gold.  His is larger than mine.  I think we spent around $700 for both.  We don't exactly consider them an investment, even though the price of gold has nearly doubled since then.

Original Post by thehappyfish:

This is something I've been thinking about lately. My engagement ring is tiny, cute, and awesome. He got me a garnet like I mentioned once upon a time. I think he spent upwards of about $200 on it, paid it all in one go.

My coworker got engaged over Christmas. She and fiance just put a down payment on a house - her fiance's boss donated the cash for it. Her fiance secretly squirreled away money while pretending he had to pay his boss back. She has a giant ring on her finger now, paid for by money they could have been using for renovations on their new home (not to mention they had to buy a bunch of appliances and furniture).

If I was her I'd be mad - but she loves it.

Why is it that some people are only satisfied by a ring that cost an entire year's salary? Is it fun having to make payments on that sucker? Once you marry the guy you're responsible for half his debt...I don't think that's particularly romantic. If I'd been offered a ring I knew he couldn't afford, I would have crapped my pants with worry about our finances.

I like my tiny cute ring. What does/did/do you want yours to look like? Do you like giant rocks?

 I confess it. I love giant rocks. I've always been unnaturally attracted to shiny objects. I may have been a raccoon in a past life.

I love the vintage settings best..but I'm not sure I know exactly which shape I want when the time comes. I'm torn because so many of them are just gorgeous.

I know I want a large center stone, with a bunch of that pave stuff around it, on a thick and fairly intricate setting. I don't like it if the band is too thin or there isn't enough going on around the thing.

All that said..no, I wouldn't want a guy to go into major debt for a ring, or for it to mean doing without something more necessary, like a house or whatever else.

My BF wants me to pick it out myself, so I'll try not to go too nuts.

Oh, I love love love jewelry. The more sparkly diamonds - the better BUT, time I got married I told my fiancees the same thing: I will happily wear a plain gold band if that is what you'd like to do, however if you're going to buy me a diamond/s I'd better be able to see them and they have to be good quality. The rings and the ceremony don't make the marriage. I can't see spending thousands of dollars on wedding rings unless the cash is in hand and one doesn't have to go into debt for it.