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Does anyone else find it sort of inconsiderate, if not-- an invasion of privacy, to go to a baby shower, bridal shower, bday party and find out the host/ess had uploaded your photo to facebook without your knowledge and/or permission.

This has happened a couple of times now and I'm begining to think I will not attend any more parties like this. Some of us with an Xspouse do not want that person to get an open view into our lives. Hence, I do not have a Facebook account myself. Yes, I know you can block people, but they can always get around it.

Then I think of people in domestic violence situations. This could be dangerous.

I wish people would use common sense before publishing everything ( including my information) online without my consent.

What do you guys think?

17 Replies (last)

you could always ask in advance for people to not post pix of you, however, I feel tha person taking them should ask before posting. You have very good points here. 

Common courtesy is to ask before posting a picture or ino about someone.

I don't even like having pictures of me TAKEN without my consent. I'm not worried about something happening to me because someone might see them, but I find it rude, annoying and invasive.

 

ETA: ...so I do tell people not to take pictures of me when I'm not comfortable with it (which is most of the time) and I get out of the way while they're taking pictures.

I think if you don't want pictures of yourself on Facebook, it's better to mention it in advance. Heck, I know people who would be miffed at someone taking their pictures and NOT putting them on FB since they rely on other people to record events they participate in.

The only no-no rule I know is that you don't put up pics where someone looks unflattering.

Why would it be in invasion of privacy, you allowed pictures to be taken of you and didn't make it known you don't want those pics published anywhere. I mean, you participate in a public event, and pics will be taken, pics which are naturally shared. Should the person not be able to show off her pics because you appear in them?

On a day to day, happy snapping thing, I get really mad if people take random pics of me and have no problems telling them to delete them!..and honestly I do, boss or no boss!

At a party of any description, where you know the chances are photos are going to be taken, I always made it clear "No pics of me!".

Ask if they can remove the pictures...may be difficult if you are in the photo with others, but no harm in asking.

 

Original Post by suzushii:

The only no-no rule I know is that you don't put up pics where someone looks unflattering.

I mean, you participate in a public event, and pics will be taken, pics which are naturally shared.

Flattering or unflattering is a subjective view. More often than not people would think that they don't look great on the pictures while others think they look ok.

Is a bridal shower/birthday/family reunion public event, really ?

ronni06, I have a SIL that does it all the time. Can you tell them that you are uncomfortable with your picture being published ? If not, I would just not get in a shot I am at a party. 

Original Post by vft:

Flattering or unflattering is a subjective view. More often than not people would think that they don't look great on the pictures while others think they look ok.

Yup. But you can always ask them in a message to take the pic down.

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I myself don't have FB either. There is a reason for that. I don't want people to know my business. I have an ex that has asked every one of my relatives to be his friend on there. They refuse him. Another ex always wants to know what I am up to. They are exs for a reason duh! I don't even like when my daughter posts my grand babies pics on there. To many pedophiles out there. I never get in pics unless I take them. Didn't realize personal baby/wedding showers were public. I am getting old though.

Facebook is how I pretty much keep up with my adult kids, my daughter in law post pictures I would never see of my grand daughter dance competions. I've even found out that they are sick on face book and then called to check on them. I hate facebook, I dont' post anything. I dont like my picture take and I sure don't want it on facebook. Tons of people I work with from school use it and I can see what they are up too. I dont' thinks it wrong for me to look if they put it out there for everyone, and they have added me as a friend.  People are really comfortable with putting everything out there. I realize you can make it private for friends but there are hacker out there.

If you set your settings not to allow others see tagged photos of you, then no one but you will see them.

Hopefully that helps a little. :/

Okay, I just have to say this.

I see and hear lots of comments about people not wanting everyone to see their business, know their private lives, know their personal stuff but...

What are you guys DOING?  I mean, I don't really do anything in my day to day life that is that big of a deal or that I wouldn't want anyone to know about, even my weird ex or someone I hate.  I mean...worse case scenario, weird/creepy/hated ex or enemy knows I went to a baby shower last Sunday...........and???  And, also, maybe you're assuming that other people care more about what you're up to than they actually do.

I just don't get it.  If you have a full time, legitimate stalker, I can sort of see the concern, but otherwise, what's the big deal?

I don't believe that "common sense" extends to "assume someone at a bridal shower is in a domestic abuse situation and needs to not have pictures of her posted on facebook."

If I didn't want pictures of myself posted, for any reason, I would mention it at the time to the person taking photos. If a photo ended up on facebook that I didn't want, I would write to the owner and ask for it to be removed or cropped so that I wasn't in it. Only after such requests were ignored would I think that the person was being inconsiderate.

Remember that people aren't mind readers. I'm sure you've never worried about mentioning to someone that you are going to fill up you car with gas, because who knows? The person you are talking to might have lost their entire family in a freak gasoline fight accident.

Original Post by amethystgirl:

I don't believe that "common sense" extends to "assume someone at a bridal shower is in a domestic abuse situation and needs to not have pictures of her posted on facebook."

If I didn't want pictures of myself posted, for any reason, I would mention it at the time to the person taking photos. If a photo ended up on facebook that I didn't want, I would write to the owner and ask for it to be removed or cropped so that I wasn't in it. Only after such requests were ignored would I think that the person was being inconsiderate.

Remember that people aren't mind readers. I'm sure you've never worried about mentioning to someone that you are going to fill up you car with gas, because who knows? The person you are talking to might have lost their entire family in a freak gasoline fight accident.

I agree with this. I'm not really sure how much harm pictures posted of a past event can do? I mean, unless it's an extreme case where you have a stalker who you don't want to know where you are at all, why is it such a big deal if your ex husband sees a picture of you at a baby shower? it's not as if the person if posting your address and phone number on facebook. if it IS really a dangerous situation, then i think the responsibility falls on the person who doesn't want their photo posted to make that known. personally, i wouldn't think twice about posting someone's photo at a shower or birthday party unless they told me not to.  

*** I did not pose or put myself in any pictures and did not see anyone taking photos to tell them to not put mine online.

 

Original Post by amethystgirl:
 I'm sure you've never worried about mentioning to someone that you are going to fill up you car with gas, because who knows? The person you are talking to might have lost their entire family in a freak gasoline fight accident.

 Zoolander... 

and as far as facebook and pictures go, If you didn't know pictures were being taken of you, and thus didn't know to tell the picture takers not to post them, then this can be resolved with a quick email. If they are friends of yours then let them know in future events not to post pictures with you in them. If they are strangers then it's not like anyone seeing the picture will even know who you are. Requesting pictures to be taken down is not something you should second guess. It's not a confrontation, it's not a big issue, it's a simple request and I think most people happily comply with this request. 

I hate to say it but the way we share things is changing. Where once these pictures would end up in a physical album, pulled out at family functions or while entertaining, they now end up in digital albums. Yes more people see the pictures but it's not done with any less regard to one's privacy than when physical albums were used. 

You can play around with privacy settings to thwart tagging of bad phtotos, but they will still be out there on your friends' pages.

I have told people to take things down on 2 occasions and in one the person actaully refused.  It is a picture of me drunk and in pajamas after a wedding, that i just 'too funny' to delete.  wth?

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

Okay, I just have to say this.

I see and hear lots of comments about people not wanting everyone to see their business, know their private lives, know their personal stuff but...

What are you guys DOING?  I mean, I don't really do anything in my day to day life that is that big of a deal or that I wouldn't want anyone to know about, even my weird ex or someone I hate.  I mean...worse case scenario, weird/creepy/hated ex or enemy knows I went to a baby shower last Sunday...........and???  And, also, maybe you're assuming that other people care more about what you're up to than they actually do.

I just don't get it.  If you have a full time, legitimate stalker, I can sort of see the concern, but otherwise, what's the big deal?

This.

Also I pretty much never ask, I post pics for the people who couldn't go or whatever. For me I expect pictures of me taken by someone to be shared online, especially at events. I have lots of mutual friends that may not live near where we are, and like seeing the pics. Or even the people at the event or whatever like seeing the pics and commenting.

However if someone asked me to take a pic down, I would ASAP because that is their choice to let me know. What happened to jenpaxton is just plain rude and disrespectful.

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