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Failed driving test, confidence knocked...


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so I failed my driving test yesterday and well, the experience did something to me- I feel really low now! I know that only a third of people pass in the area etc. but I feel as though it's triggered negative thinking within me.

I cried all day, ate way way too much and smoked (I never smoke!).

And now the next day, I feel just like I don't want to do anthing. I dont want to go to the gym, I don't want to see anyone, I just want to sleep. I feel as though the experience has just removed me of all of my confidence in myself.

What's wrong with me?

22 Replies (last)

Come on you namby pamby wuss. If this the way you are going to act all your adult life, you are in for a miserable existence. Mama ain't gonna around to forever kiss your booboo. Stop crying and binging and go out there and practice until you are a better driver.

What's wrong with you? Nothing! You just need more practice in driving and in being an adult.

Confidence is overrated. A little fear and a little humility keep you on your toes and keep you safe.

OK OK, I can't do the tough act too long. You are going to be OK, seriously.

Original Post by cajunrider:

Come on you namby pamby wuss. If this the way you are going to act all your adult life, you are in for a miserable existence. Mama ain't gonna around to forever kiss your booboo. Stop crying and binging and go out there and practice until you are a better driver.

What's wrong with you? Nothing! You just need more practice in driving and in being an adult.

Confidence is overrated. A little fear and a little humility keep you on your toes and keep you safe.

OK OK, I can't do the tough act too long. You are going to be OK, seriously.

This.

 

fyi my mama is dead, otherwise I'd be whining to her about this, not you.

Im not sure i can afford to continue though- I've taken out a loan to get this far and things are too tight. Probably time to realise im not cut out for driving and cut my losses.

what I wanted to know was why some people like me allow things like this to hit their confidence so badly? other (objectively more stressful things) happen to me all the time and im fine- but this just seemed to hit a nerve....

lol thanks for the support though.

Original Post by christine007david:

 

fyi my mama is dead, otherwise I'd be whining to her about this, not you.

Im not sure i can afford to continue though- I've taken out a loan to get this far and things are too tight. Probably time to realise im not cut out for driving and cut my losses.

what I wanted to know was why some people like me allow things like this to hit their confidence so badly? other (objectively more stressful things) happen to me all the time and im fine- but this just seemed to hit a nerve....

lol thanks for the support though.

 I'm sorry about your mama. Seriously though, driving is a skill that you need to achieve sometime in life. However, if you have to take a loan just to get this far, you may want to wait until you are at an enonomic point to do it with ease.

As for your confidence, people who are so eager to try before they are ready often fail. Repeated failures tend to knock you down. Prepare more. I've helped some kids who supposedly can't take test well. Surprise surprise, they did extremely well once they know the material instead of thinking they know the material.

I failed my first driving test.  It sucked, but then I learned to laugh it off. You need to be able to brush it off and try again.  There are going to be many dissappointments and failures in life (much worse than this) and if you let it shake you this much, life is going to be miserable.

I failed my first driving test too!  Funny thing is I am a great driver 17 years not an accident or single ticket to my name.  (knock knock on wood).  You probably just had an off day or need more practice.  It's OK.  It happens.  Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get out there.  I don't care that you don't FEEL like going to the gym.. JUST GO.. You'll feel better after... Really!

When my son was getting his driving lesson, there was a guy at the local BMV who failed a large percent of drivers. He was a super jerk. I had to retake the Ohio written test because I had moved back to Ohio after having a license elsewhere. He was a real jerk to me at first, then when I scored a 98% he changed his tune.

Anyways, my son got lucky. This dude had to be off work for months due to some health problems. J took his test with the person who had to come from out of county to sub for him. During her time in our county, almost everyone who took the test passed. When the jerk came back, more people passed than before he went out on medical leave.

That tells you it wasn't necessarily the drivers who failed. If there's a high percentage of people in your area who fail, part of the problem lies with the testing.

Now that being said, you have to just go out there and practice some more. You know you have to. You can't be stuck in the US without a driver's license unless you're in a huge city with really good public transportation.

Ive failed other stuff before, and believe me life has dealt me a fair amount of crap....but somehow this really hit a nerve.

Thanks dove2424, Ive cycled 10 miles to and from the gym, been to the gym and I DO feel much better. It's good to hear from someone who's been there.

I also found out that my city has the lowest pass rate in the country (33%) which made me feel a bit better!

I know Ive been a whinge-bag, for that I am sorry.

 

Go ahead and whine a little. This place is good for that. Get it out of your system. Just don't let the whining last too long or let it paralyze you into not getting back out there.

^ what mooni said. 

Get out the emotions, then use them to dig your heels in and say, "I will do this."  And go out there and go it.  :)

I know tons of people who failed their tests.  And they all happily and successfully drive now.  It's like getting thrown off a horse - hop right back on, keep on practicing.  Everyone had bad days, triggered by various things.  You live that day as it comes, then make the next day a good day, and strive to improve it.

Hang in there!

i failed the first time. in my small town, there were two testers who came up on a weekly basis. one of them passed everyone, the other failed everyone. when you booked your test, they wouldn't tell you which guy would be there.

when i took the test the next time, i got demerits for speeding a little, but passed. the guy (the other guy, the one who passed everyone) told me that i was probably driving fast because i was "too good."

 

heh. i just remembered that when i failed the first time, one of the things i got demerits for was not getting into the right lane to make a right turn. excuse me? this is a one-stop-light-town. there is no right lane.

and i don't think we even had the one stop light yet.

Original Post by christine007david:

Ive failed other stuff before, and believe me life has dealt me a fair amount of crap....but somehow this really hit a nerve.

Thanks dove2424, Ive cycled 10 miles to and from the gym, been to the gym and I DO feel much better. It's good to hear from someone who's been there.

I also found out that my city has the lowest pass rate in the country (33%) which made me feel a bit better!

I know Ive been a whinge-bag, for that I am sorry.

 

I had a hell of a time with learning to drive and frequently ended up bawling my eyes out at home. There is something about being stuck in that car and being scrutinized that is just tough.

And my problem was also that driving was the first thing I really wanted to well and couldn't. I'm a terrible driver and always wil be. i ony passed my test because I did almost double the amount of lessons and fortunatly am one of those people that perform better under pressure. But it didn't help that my siblings did their licenses with half the amount of lessons :-/

Dry your tears, climb back on the horse, (I just saw that fruity is using the same image, lol) and keep practicing. Is there someone/somehwere you can practice a bit? Because giving up now is a really bad idea. You have to have a license eventually - unless you plan to live n NYC for the rest of your life.

hmph, don't feel so bad. When I moved I forgot to change my address at the dmv, they won't forward dmv mail here so my license expired. We have to retake the exams if you're expired too long, which, cough, I was. Soooo after driving for 15 plus years I take the written and failed it the first time.

Chin up, you'll pass eventually. But why did you have to take out a loan to take a drivers exam? I know I'm probably misreading it Undecided

But why did you have to take out a loan to take a drivers exam? I know I'm probably misreading it 

- because driving lessons, and the test itself costs a fortune- the test alone is £120 ($191)

each 2 hour lesson I have costs £42 ($67).....

I have no one to practice with as whilst many of my friends drive, none of them have cars (we live in the capital)

But I will try again for sure, and yes CC is a good place to whinge. I think whinge is over- feeling much more positive now! (apart from the debt lol)

holy guacamole, our fee is 10 bucks to take the test, we have drivers ed in our local schools so kids get lessons free.

I was like that the first time I failed.
-Second time less so.
-Third time I was pissed because it was just ONE point off.
-Then I had to redo the written test and take the drivers test again- and failed.
-Fifth time my car broke down in the middle of the test- turns out my car wasn't even LEGAL to drive because of the smogging issue (old cars, go figure).
-Sixth time I failed because I borrowed a friends car and blew the transmission. Her shift gears weren't like my old car.
-Took the written test AGAIN and will be getting ready for my drivers test again real soon. 7th is a lucky number!

In short- yeah, it sucks, you didn't get it. You're goingto feel horrible and like a failure- but brush it off. You didn't lose a leg, lose your car, or break your friend's car, or cause the instructor to lose control of their bowels when you wanted to see if the '88 mph rule works like Doc says!'. You've got a lot of chances, man. Stick to it!

Hang in there and don't give up!  My nephew recently had to take his 4 times before he finally passed.  You can do it!!  So sorry it is so expensive for you to do :(

I think getting a driver's license is just one of those milestone things in life, so it makes perfect sense to me that you would have taken it hard!  My son failed his first time too but we put a positive spin on it.  He now knew exactly what to do to pass the next time (he failed to slow down and yield at an unmarked intersection - he ASSUMED the other people had stop signs - plus his wheels were not touching the curb on a park on a hill. 

So take the test - see what you got dinged for and just fix that - the rest that you did well - keep being mindful of it all.  The only person who can stop you now....is you!  And you can do this!  :) 

Original Post by christine007david:

- because driving lessons, and the test itself costs a fortune- the test alone is £120 ($191)

each 2 hour lesson I have costs £42 ($67).....

I have no one to practice with as whilst many of my friends drive, none of them have cars (we live in the capital)

But I will try again for sure, and yes CC is a good place to whinge. I think whinge is over- feeling much more positive now! (apart from the debt lol)

 The first time I replied to this my response didn't show up... weird....

Anyway, sounds like you're in the UK?  From what I've seen/heard, their driving tests are ridiculously difficult.  My husband failed his test five times before he finally passed, and he's an excellent driver these days.  The last time he failed, the examiner told him it was because he forgot to check one of his mirrors before pulling away.  ONE mirror!

So, don't be too hard on yourself. :-)

Original Post by fenrik_reinsdyr:

I was like that the first time I failed.
-Second time less so.
-Third time I was pissed because it was just ONE point off.
-Then I had to redo the written test and take the drivers test again- and failed.
-Fifth time my car broke down in the middle of the test- turns out my car wasn't even LEGAL to drive because of the smogging issue (old cars, go figure).
-Sixth time I failed because I borrowed a friends car and blew the transmission. Her shift gears weren't like my old car.
-Took the written test AGAIN and will be getting ready for my drivers test again real soon. 7th is a lucky number!

In short- yeah, it sucks, you didn't get it. You're goingto feel horrible and like a failure- but brush it off. You didn't lose a leg, lose your car, or break your friend's car, or cause the instructor to lose control of their bowels when you wanted to see if the '88 mph rule works like Doc says!'. You've got a lot of chances, man. Stick to it!

I think I love you.

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