High Road
How often do you actually take the high road? How often do you think you take the high road?
My high road was paved with my low alley ways. ;}
All of the time, except the times that I don't.
Truthfully, I have no idea. But another good effing question.
How do you know that the high road is without judgment - just saying it's the high road to yourself is saying I am better than the other person. I probably do it often in my own mind - but maybe that's not a good thing and I should work on it.
Love the question!
I think when something makes me mad, I immediately stop and try to sort out why. I think about the person, what they said, what I know about them, and try to figure what it is that hurt me enough to cause anger.
I am still not sure if that's in any way healthy, but I am equally uncertain whether or not I want to change the response.
^agreed. I probably think I take the high road more often than I actually do.
and plus.. the high road IS kinda judge-y .. "I'm better than you/ bigger than this" no?
I try to be kind online/ in person.. you don't know what is going on in the life of that person, but I am meaner in my head.
Original Post by anewdawn:
How do you know that the high road is without judgment - just saying it's the high road to yourself is saying I am better than the other person. I probably do it often in my own mind - but maybe that's not a good thing and I should work on it.
Love the question!
Kind of what I was thinking about. Taking the high road with regard to political discussions was brought up in another thread and it got me thinking about the topic of taking the high road as a general topic.
I know that if I'm choosing what I claim is the high road, at least some kind of judgment has taken place. There have been times when I was choosing the high road more from a "do the right thing" mode rather than through judgment. I had to do this frequently throughout the separation from my ex and then throughout the divorce. It was the right thing to do to not bad mouth my ex to my son, even though my ex was a crazy fawker doing really awful things.
Well you are better than me when it comes to ex's- I held it together for quite a few year and then I took the road so low I was swimming in the swamp! I regret it completely and have since forgiven him - we are not friends and never will be - but I think we could be in the same room for weddings etc - and that's a relief and much more fair to the kids.
Yeah, that question was answered by me several times and I couldn't make it work without admitting that it's a bit holier than thou attitude to take and to proclaim. If you are doing the right thing...do you have to point it out...or should you just be happy within yourself that you stood in your truth and allow that the other person did likewise. It's not easy being human that's for sure!
Leaving from work but I had a thought and it felt right - I think that all things are energy and that you can be vibrationally higher than someone else - that higher vibration though comes from personal peace and wellness - part of wellness is avoiding inflamation where all dis-ease originates - so if you are judgemental, if you are angry, if you are unhappy, sad, grieving you will vibrate at a lower frequency and there is no judgement on that - perhaps you have good reasons and lots of times the situation is temporary, and every day is a new day and another opportunity to lower our stresses and inflammations and vibrate at a higher frequency.
So, a person can vibrate at a higher frequency and be an ass or be rude or what have you ...as long as they are at peace with it and happy and calm.....if that makes sense. It's not about ethics....it's about energy. whew..well I certainly feel vibrationally higher now! hahaha!
What gets frustrating is when you take the high road and no one notices, sometimes for a very long time. Sometimes you even seem to get punished for it. I know I was taught as a child to just forgive and continue to do the right thing with no thought of reward, but damn, when that crap is taking place it's pretty hard to cope.
i take the high road in my work. at work, i don't tell people who waste my time that they are **** jackwagons.
in my personal life, i don't let **** jackwagons waste my time. except here.
I'm adding another thought to this thread.
When I hear someone suggest to me that I should take the high road or proclaiming how much better off I'd be if I took the high road, I get kind of pissed. I think that's because my feelings about the subject are being dismissed and because the speaker is generally wanting me to do what they think is the high road.
I also want to admit that I have begrudgingly taken the high road more than once. I usually feel better about myself in the long run, but not always. The desire to get that last word in or zing someone with a snarky comment is pretty strong at times.
i was berated by PM and in that thread multiple times today. forgive me for not backing down when i state a perfectly-valid opinion and a couple of dozen people pounce on me for not toeing the popular, patriotic, simpering, poor-us line.
if taking the high road means stifling my opinion and being a doormat, i'll pass.
I do see a lot of people who advise others to take the high road when they rarely do it themselves.
I just revisited a thread that I purposely didn't go back to because I knew I would get sucked in emotionally and didn't want that to happen. The reason why I posted wasn't to start a fight, and it could have easily become one if I hadn't stayed away. At the same time, I had to say my piece.
Does it count as the high road if you have no choice? An example would be a superior at work FUBARs something. You step in make things right and move on. You make no mention of the fact that without your intervention things would have gone south. Is that taking the high road? I don't really think so.
There are times when I've told myself it is appropriate to sling mud.
There are times when I've told myself I'd take the high road and failed. There are times I've advised others to do so and failed at it myself.
I try to take the high road with those that deserve it.
Never.
Although, believe it or not; and I understand those that might not believe this...there are some occasions where I've taken the higher of 2-4 lesser roads.
Usually the only reason I don't take the exact road (usually very low) I think is appropriate (or entertaining to me) is that an uncensored CCat is a CCat that causes moderator difficulties...thus, CCat difficulties. So, out of an attempt to not blatently tick off our hard working moderators...in exchange for some tolerance or at the least pre-warning of non-tolerance...I "usually" second guess things I say before hitting "post reply". In the past, I didn't do that.
But "high road"...never. I have no use for it. High road is for one of two people:
- Those afraid of the truth.
- Those afraid of being exposed as frauds or idiots.
Since I am neither ignorant nor a fraud...and I embrace the truth rather than hide from it...I have no use for a "high road". It exists only when talking to those where my interaction would be unnecissarily cruel (kid just died...not a good time to be "honest"...just let it go) or when dealing with a minor (because mods "frown upon" me illegally soliciting minors for sex...for whatever facist reason).
nobody deserves it. They are all "1s" and "0s". Internet people aren't real people. Insert SLO/Pure/Jules mandatory comment that they all (( )) each other in real life, blah blah blah...
For all I know, PGD is a little old lady living in a cottage in Nantucket and KG is a violent criminal doing a 5-15 year stint for aggravated assault. Don't know, don't care.
Original Post by caloricat:
But "high road"...never. I have no use for it. High road is for one of two people:
- Those afraid of the truth.
- Those afraid of being exposed as frauds or idiots.
really? those are the only reasons?
i mentioned above that i take the high road at work. i do this because i respect the people i work with, both colleagues and clients. and particularly with clients, if i didn't accept them at their worst and do my best to make them feel safe regardless of how low they are, i'd be completely ineffective at my job.
sometimes honesty can wait.
Original Post by caloricat:
nobody deserves it. They are all "1s" and "0s". Internet people aren't real people. Insert SLO/Pure/Jules mandatory comment that they all (( )) each other in real life, blah blah blah...
For all I know, PGD is a little old lady living in a cottage in Nantucket and KG is a violent criminal doing a 5-15 year stint for aggravated assault. Don't know, don't care.
I was thinking of a particular instance that involved my Son. He does.
I always forget the PM component of CC, because I rarely use it.
This seems a better place to say this than that thread:
I honestly felt that I wasn't berating you, PG. And I honestly apologize if you thought that. Because it was specifically my intent to avoid that. I was trying to respectfully disagree with some things and better understand others.
I admit some weird reactions to some of your posts, and found myself wondering what was up. Honestly, from the first I was feeling almost like you were using that thread to respond to other people, in other places - or as if you were seeking a confrontation from the get-go, in order to 'vent' I guess, for lack of a better word.
