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The "ignore" game guys play with women


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Okay, I noticed this type of behavior more often with younger guys like 25 and under where they will intentionally exclude or ignore you.

This one guy in my class was cool with me, he even had a bit of a crush on me, then suddenly out of nowhere he started to ignore me. when everyone was grouped together having a discussion, I notice that he either ignores what I have to say, or if I have a question directed at him he responds to me in a very dry and rude manner. I dont get it because this happened out of the left field. perhaps somebody said something about me and he  started to ignore me after hearing this bit of gossip??

 

It happened with another guy who just outright ignored me. he would talk to every girl BUT me. I never understood this. and if I said something to him, he wuold kinda act like he didn't hear me.

 

what is this 'game' that guys do? do they want the girl to chase them by ignoring them? whenever i meet a guy, I literally count down the days before he starts playing the "ignore" game. i have anxiety when it comes to guys now because i think, "what he'll start to ignore me or play like he doesn't hear what I have to say"..its very frustrating and I don't understand this social dynamic

please dont tell me to just get over it, i really want to know WHY this happens because its irritating and it keeps on reoccurring. I want to know why it happens because maybe its something i'm doing wrong

35 Replies (last)

I've had this happen to me, but only a couple of times. I was never trying to date either of these guys because I had a boyfriend, I just wanted to ask questions about class or just have some casual conversation. I found it really rude and just ignored them back. They usually snap out of it after they get a taste of their own medicine. And if they don't, do you really want a guy who tries to pick up girls by being a jerk?

Also, this never happens to me anymore because I'm not as shy as when I first started college. I couldn't be honest and say, "I'm not interested," if my life depended on it. After getting mixed signals (or not a crystal clear "yes I like you" or "not interested), some guys get frustrated, panic, and turn to this crappy method. Just be clear and honest.

I agree with Mutt.  It sounds like they think you're sending signals that you're interested, and they don't know what to do.  Being direct will work.  Ignoring them will too.

Original Post by rosieblue:

I agree with Mutt.  It sounds like they think you're sending signals that you're interested, and they don't know what to do.  Being direct will work.  Ignoring them will too.

 i'm not sending any interested signals. they just do this out of nowhere. i don't get it

Original Post by dreamofbeingthin:

Original Post by rosieblue:

I agree with Mutt.  It sounds like they think you're sending signals that you're interested, and they don't know what to do.  Being direct will work.  Ignoring them will too.

 i'm not sending any interested signals. they just do this out of nowhere. i don't get it

Then they want you to be interested. They just don't have the balls to strike up a decent conversation with you. They'd rather have you chase them and start the talking.

Tell them to grow some, or find a guy who has some. I was never into those dumb games. I like it when people are straight up and to the point.

Pickup theory.

If you want a woman to be interested in you, ignore her and talk to her friends.

Reasoning behind it - Women *hate* to be ignored, and they put more value on things that they need to work for to achieve.

It's psychotic but... it does work, for a particular group of women (read: younger, less self-confident women who really do hate being ignored). It especially works on younger, more attractive women who are absolutely incapable of processing that someone isn't interested in them primarily. You know the girls I'm talking about: the ones who deliberately hang out with less attractive friends so they feel more attractive.

How do you know they had a crush on you?

Maybe he's just not that into you.

Speaking of which, that was such a great movie. I recommend watching it - it was hysterical!

Original Post by hatamoto:

Pickup theory.

If you want a woman to be interested in you, ignore her and talk to her friends.

Reasoning behind it - Women *hate* to be ignored, and they put more value on things that they need to work for to achieve.

It's psychotic but... it does work, for a particular group of women (read: younger, less self-confident women who really do hate being ignored). It especially works on younger, more attractive women who are absolutely incapable of processing that someone isn't interested in them primarily. You know the girls I'm talking about: the ones who deliberately hang out with less attractive friends so they feel more attractive.

 are you trying to say that if it doesn't work you aren't young en ough or pretty enough? i really dont like the tone of your p ost at all

No, I'm saying it works well on younger women who aren't sure of themselves, and particularly younger women who think they're sure of themselves based on their looks. It's not exclusive to those women, but the older you get, the more obvious that it's a ploy (and, frankly, the older women get, the less need there is for games as women have less time and tolerance for the playing of them).

I have no clue how old you are or what you look like, although I'd predict you're younger based on your reaction to this gambit. Maybe... early 20s. 22, 23 perhaps?

I'm not advocating the activity. I've always been a "here I am" kind of guy who doesn't play stupid head games... but I've seen that trick used in the wild and although I'm loathe to admit it, it does get a reaction. Clearly, or you wouldn't be posting about it here.

There's no point in getting mad at me for it. I'm probably one of the few guys you'll encounter in your life honest enough to talk about such things directly.

Original Post by fatanr11:

Maybe he's just not that into you.

Speaking of which, that was such a great movie. I recommend watching it - it was hysterical!

It wasn't a bad story, but I happen to have a particular affinity for Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Aniston and (mmmnummy) Scarlett Johansson so I might be biased. ;)

There is a good message there, generally: if a guy is into you, he'll make sure you know it. The only time that isn't true is when he's making a deliberate effort to make sure you don't know it, ie: when completely shutting you down. I'm not saying it's a 100% guarantee, maybe the OP just smelled funny or reminded the guy of his annoying bratty little sister or something, but usually you don't get shut down cold, even by someone who dislikes you. There'll always be some words shared.

Smells like someone trying to run some game, to me... but I'll admit, I'm going on thin information here.

Original Post by hatamoto:

Pickup theory.

If you want a woman to be interested in you, ignore her and talk to her friends.

Reasoning behind it - Women *hate* to be ignored, and they put more value on things that they need to work for to achieve.

It's psychotic but... it does work, for a particular group of women (read: younger, less self-confident women who really do hate being ignored). It especially works on younger, more attractive women who are absolutely incapable of processing that someone isn't interested in them primarily. You know the girls I'm talking about: the ones who deliberately hang out with less attractive friends so they feel more attractive.

 I actually believe you are 100% on point here.

Original Post by gddrdld:

 I actually believe you are 100% on point here.

I covet your p90x progress. If I tried to do bodyweight exercises right now, I'd blow out joints... but one day, one day soon... Laughing

Original Post by hatamoto:

Pickup theory.

If you want a woman to be interested in you, ignore her and talk to her friends.

Reasoning behind it - Women *hate* to be ignored, and they put more value on things that they need to work for to achieve.

It's psychotic but... it does work, for a particular group of women (read: younger, less self-confident women who really do hate being ignored). It especially works on younger, more attractive women who are absolutely incapable of processing that someone isn't interested in them primarily. You know the girls I'm talking about: the ones who deliberately hang out with less attractive friends so they feel more attractive.

 Bang!

And it worked (whether or not you fit into Hata's band) otherwise you wouldn't be on here wondering about it.

Next you'll here "for a pretty girl, you could do much better with your hair like xyz" or "you're so beautiful but you need a manicure"...

 Women have been doing it (using male psychology) to men for centuries now some brothers are turning the tables.

I can't speak for others but I have a lot of trouble talking to women that I'm "interested" in.  If I'm not '"interested" then everything is good, I can converse perfectly, joke around, make friends, etc...  However if I am then I can never think of what to say, trip over my words more often, and am far less easygoing, as such I just don't really talk to them much which could come across as "ignoring" them.

TLDR:  For me, ignore = likes. 

If it bothers you, talk to him about it.  If you can't talk to him about it, get over it and move on. 

I've had that happen with a guy whom I was dating, we both went to a party with his friends (I didn't know them, and they were pretty cliquey) and he completely ignored me for the entire night, and then tried to channel my anger in some kind of sexual way. FAIL. He had tried similar "dating theory" techniques, and let me tell you, I don't respond well to people trying to manipulate me.

Result: I dumped him, informing him politely I'm not interested in that kind of relationship. He was SO outraged, he felt the need to message me back 30 minutes afterwards, to tell me he already secured another date. +1 for maturity huh :P?

I've yet to meet a guy who can actually use these techniques succesfully. The only reason they work, is because they're usually tried on very immature, sligtly dumb women. Well ya, they work there, but so would not using any technique whatsoever and just making yourself an interesting, funny, witty person.

 

To the OP: So he's being purposely rude without any reason? Time to ignore them right back and set your eyes on someone else. Why reward arseholeness with interest?

 

Done right, they're seamless, you'd never even know it was a technique. Done badly, well... you've seen the results. Pretty lame.

I saw it in action initially when I used to work door at a couple places when I was younger... people have been playing these games for a while, long before the recent "PUA" trend. You see the same guys doing the same moves with different women, over and over, night after night. All the standard tricks: magic tricks, having a 'wingman' to occupy a friend, blah blah blah.

Can't deny their dedication I suppose... and I can somewhat understand the psychology behind it, with the whole "women have been manipulating men forever, so why not turn the tables" thing, but it's always struck me as a little creepy. Not as creepy as the guys who clung to the walls or sat at the tables in the back and just stared at the club all night, but still kinda creepy.

Original Post by hatamoto:

Original Post by gddrdld:

 I actually believe you are 100% on point here.

I covet your p90x progress. If I tried to do bodyweight exercises right now, I'd blow out joints... but one day, one day soon...

 You'll get there. You can do it!

Original Post by hatamoto:

Can't deny their dedication I suppose... and I can somewhat understand the psychology behind it, with the whole "women have been manipulating men forever, so why not turn the tables" thing, but it's always struck me as a little creepy.

The problem with that is that you cannot lump all women together, the same way you can't go excusing any failings we women have by saying "men hav been raping and using women forever, so why not turn the tables"

Individual, men and women, individual guilts and crimes.

Original Post by suzushii:

The only reason they work, is because they're usually tried on very immature, sligtly dumb women.

While it might be generally easier to manipulate immature and stupid women, I disagree with the suggestion that they're the only women who are successfully trifled by mind games.

35 Replies (last)
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