First of all, a tiny bit of background. For the last four years, I have had a job that I absolutely hated. I always did a great job and never showed attitude while there, but I hated it. In January I got really mad and started letting the applications fly. The result is a new job that I like a lot better. The only down side is that I have no vacation time that I can use until late September which in any other year wouldn't be a problem because we take our Outer Banks trip at that time every year. This, however, is the year of our 25th anniversary. It was June 16th to be exact.
After I accepted the position and found out all of this, my husband told me that he had all these plans for us to renew our vows on June 14th and take our "honeymoon" in St. Lucia. Unfortunately, with the new job, I was not able to go on the trip so everything was, I thought, put on hold until sometime next year. Fast forward a couple of months and I find out that the ceremony is to be moved to sometime in August and this is where it gets complicated.
My sister lives in Arkansas and I live in Maryland so we don't see each other very often. She has been planning to come up this way this summer for over a year and we were going to do a week-end in Atlantic City. I'm not much of a gambler, just a few slots, but was looking forward to spending some time with her.
Yesterday, my husband announced in church that the ceremony was going to be August 2 and everyone was invited and that there would be a small reception in the Fellowship Hall afterwards. He told me that he had planned all this around my sister's visit and he'd been talking to her trying to pin down the date so I figured that all of this was set up. After his big announcement he told me that I needed to talk to my sister about the arrangements so she could bring something suitable to wear. Apparently it's been decided that we will have a bridal party and everything. She doesn't know about his plans, so I'm guessing she's still expecting to go on the Atlantic City trip. Add to that the fact that his high school reunion is also being held on that week-end so he expects me to go there after the festivities which will effectively eliminate my spending time with my sister on Saturday, Aug 2 and of course, totally annhilate the plans we originally made.
Now please understand, I realize how lucky I am to have a husband who would want to do something this romantic, but now I feel caught in the middle and I'm afraid that no matter what I do, someone will be upset. Any thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated because right now I want to go get a huge hot fudge sundae!
EDITED TO ADD:
So I talked to my sister and she did know all about the vow renewal ceremony and she's onboard with that. She didn't know that I knew about it and it was kind of comical when I was trying to talk to her about it because she was still unsure as to whether or not he was trying to surprise me. Anyway, she's not talking about Atlantic City anymore, but I haven't figured out how to tell her he wants me to go to this reunion with him. She's arriving either Thursday 7/31 or Friday 8/01. The events hubby expects me to attend are Friday 8/01 7p-11p & Saturday from like 4p on. She's leaving on Sunday so it doesn't give me much time to spend with her and I'm not really looking forward to telling her about this. When I balked at the Friday night thing my husband got mad at me. What do I do? Am I being unreasonable? I'm still thinking about a hot fudge sundae!
It's great that you decided to type this all out instead of reaching for that hot fudge sundae! I applaud you for realising that your cravings for food are because of other aspects and not because you are actually hungry.
I am not really sure that I can offer any advice about your situation except that you should explain the situation to your sister as soon as possible. I'm sure she'll understand. It sucks that you won't get to spend as much time with her as you'd like but maybe you can take a trip out to see her some time :]
Go out for a walk; do something to take your mind off of things; and if you're still craving that sundae, maybe settle for an ice cream cone from McDonald's (they're only 150 calories).
First, you need to call your sis and let her know what's going on. Second, you should talk to your husband and tell him how you're feeling. If he's so wonderful, he'll understand and find a way to help. For example, you could see if she could also go to the class reunion with you or if it would be ok if you skipped the reunion to go out with your sis.
Still working on figuring out how to handle this problem. I should be thrilled because I get to be the Bride again after all these years, but I just worry that I'll upset someone I love.
you will only have one 25th anniversary celebration -- you may have plenty of chances to take your sister to AC. Coming from someone who hopes to celebrate her divorce on her 25th anniversary -- you've got a great husband (as you acknowledged).
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