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Legitimate reasons to be annoyed?


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I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months.  He is very handsome, has a good job, an education, is very sweet, etc.  

I know it sounds ridiculous but I have lost interest and want to break up with him because he is TOO nice.  Whenever I am trying to cook or wash dishes, he's always standing right behind me grabbing onto me and hugging me.  I can't sit on the couch without him laying his head on my lap.  He is constantly telling me that he "adores me" and calling me beautiful and giving me compliments....seriously every 2 minutes pretty much.  When I am driving he always has his hand on my leg/holding my hand.  At first I liked this stuff but after a month or so I started getting really annoyed.

Can you guys tell me honestly, if I am just being a jerk?? Or are these legitimate reasons to be annoyed?

I am trying to figure out if my urge to break it off with him is because I don't like him, or if it is because of my past issues with guys (had some bad relationships a few years back).  I am so confused!  D:

Edited Jul 19 2010 22:58 by nomoreexcuses
Reason: Unlocked after moderation
20 Replies (last)

If that was my boyfriend, I'd be long gone.

Sounds like he is too smothering and might be invading your personal space. You can still be with someone without being all over them (whether physical or vocal).

Maybe talk to him and tell him you feel he is smothering you a bit and to lay off a little.

He sounds like a nice guy though but I can see why it'd get annoying.

that would irritate the heck out of me.  Everyone needs personal space.  Talk to him about it, if he really is a great guy he will understand and back off a bit.

Just dump the jerk.

:-P ( a dollar for Thonx) No, I'm just kidding. You need some space. Talk to him (be nice, he means well), get some distance.

There is a funny song in German that goes  'How am I'm supposed to long for you when you are always there?!'

maybe talk to him about it

sounds like my bf, but i like how mushy he gets lol

Pfft you can be annoyed at anything you want. If you don't like him, cut him loose

You're a woman so you naturally find problems where there aren't any. Dump him, he deserves to be with someone who appreciates him for being a good man.

you mention two months dating - could he be he overly caught up in the honeymoon aspect of the relationship's newness?  

does he know its too much? the negative male sterotype is being unaffectionate or inattentive so he may be inadvertantly overcompensating.

also wonder if he may himself be insecure. sometimes the touching, hugging is a need for physical connection to meet one's own intimacy needs.

a compromise might result in you feeling more interested, less smothered and work for him as well. 

This is why I broke up with my last boyfriend. If you've already lost interest, there's no saving it (my opinon) so just cut him free gently.  Even if he does try to back off, he's going to start up doing it again.  On the other hand, any time he does anything affectionate for the rest of your relationship you're just going to remember the feeling you have now and be annoyed.

What does he say about it?

Yes, that would be annoying and I probably wouldn't hang around very long.

If you've lost interest, like you said, there's no point in talking. Don't prolong it, just break it off.

If, however, you are still interested, but would like for him to back off, all you can do is talk to him about it. It's possible that he's just doing it because he thinks it's what you want or something. :/

I dunno. I would have had to have caused him bodily harm. Nobody but nobody touches me while I'm driving.

that is what I was thinking..hehe

My hubby was that way when we started dating, and while it has worn off a bit over time, he is still very affectionate and I love it.  After years of dating guys that didn't really pay a whole lot of attention to me unless they were horny, I welcomed his affections.

That said, you obviously don't feel the same way about him that he feels about you because you probably wouldn't be annoyed with him after only 2 months.  Like someone else said, its the new novelty of the relationship that he's enjoying and he's treating you like he thinks you want to be treated.  If you cared enough about the relationship to talk to him about it rather than just be annoyed by it, you'd have done it by now. 

So, I do kinda agree with jackattack (though I wouldn't have said it with quite the same...er, finesse?) that he deserves to be with someone who appreciates him for who he is and that means all of him and his annoying tendencies. People show love in different ways...you would obviously rather be with someone who shows it differently so stop wasting your time (and his).

My boyfriend was that way at first (okay more like after the initial nervous week or two), and it wore off. There are times when it comes back or goes away. It rarely bothers me, but when it does I tell him and he backs off. Sometimes he realizes and asks if he's being too smothering too.

Well, if you're gonna stick with the guy you might as well be able to talk about it. So I guess it's talk or dump.

Original Post by kotov_syndrome:

 Holy-freakin-hell. If 41 is old...I'm middle-aged! *freaks out and runs out the door*

Me too, girl. We're over the hill!

*can't hear you, still running* :P

I know, right? Damn. I didn't expect it to go so fast.

Honestly, the both of you are acting like 6 year olds in this thread so I don't really think that age is an issue right now.

 

Why can't people disagree on stuff without making it personal?  Calling someone stupid or retard for voicing their opinion is uncalled for, and bringing someone's age into an unrelated discussion is misguided.

Sorry guys, I usually like you both, but come on...

Thanks for the great advice guys!  I am still thinking about whether I should just break it off or if I should give it a chance and talk to him.  GAHHH I am so bad at this stuff :(

Original Post by heatherkparks:

Honestly, the both of you are acting like 6 year olds in this thread so I don't really think that age is an issue right now.

 

Why can't people disagree on stuff without making it personal?  Calling someone stupid or retard for voicing their opinion is uncalled for, and bringing someone's age into an unrelated discussion is misguided.

Sorry guys, I usually like you both, but come on...

I'm just screwing around honestly, hahahaha. I assume she is, too.

20 Replies
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