how old were you when you got married or when do you think you would be ready to get married? i will be 21 in a month and i think 25-27 would be a good age for me to get married, but who knows! when i was younger i thought 22-23 was a good age, but def not now. too young in my opinion. my parents got married when they were 23. (been married 28 yrs) and both my grandmas were 20 when they got married!
We took our time getting married. We needed to buy me a new vehicle, wanted to buy a house and wanted to go on an extended trip to Europe before getting married. And we didn't want to be poor because of all these things and not be able to have the wedding we wanted. So we opted to space all the different things that we wanted out over a few years, and the wedding just ended up coming last.
Variable A for "age" has changed considerably in the formulaic life plan.
The norm for women is late 20's to early 30's, or immediately after your 62nd sexual partner.
I married Alex when I was 20. For a few months, he was my legal guardian and had to sign paperwork for me. It wasn't about a proper age or anything, it was about the proper person and then going with the flow.
depends. how old do you want to be when you get divorced?
^ r u bitter? got married at 19 he was 20 both were in the army. will have anniverary in Sept -we've made it 36 yrs. good and the bad.
i guess i'll be 25 when i get married. hopefully, i won't be too far into my 30s when i get divorced.
lately, i've been asking myself what the point of getting married actually is...i've yet to come up with an answer.
not at all. i've never married.
Original Post by kotov_syndrome:
i guess i'll be 25 when i get married. hopefully, i won't be too far into my 30s when i get divorced.
lately, i've been asking myself what the point of getting married actually is...i've yet to come up with an answer.
The point of it is partnership.
You can have partnership without marriage. Traditionally, the purpose of marriage was a promise of sexual exclusivity, so that the husband knew he was the father of his wife's children. Now, we use DNA for that.
no. traditionally the purpose of marriage was to exchange a daughter--who needs to be fed--for livestock and/or cash, on the one side, and to secure a dependent womb for the production of sons, on the other.
Yes, you can. But it isn't the same.
Original Post by theviewfromhere:
no. traditionally the purpose of marriage was to exchange a daughter--who needs to be fed--for livestock and/or cash, on the one side, and to secure a dependent womb for the production of sons, on the other.
He wanted the production of his sons, not the son of the farmer down the street.
and while he may have hoped to have got that, it was never guaranteed.
Original Post by theviewfromhere:
no. traditionally the purpose of marriage was to exchange a daughter--who needs to be fed--for livestock and/or cash, on the one side, and to secure a dependent womb for the production of sons, on the other.
Yep, marriage up until the early 1900's was usually an arranged thing. Yes, even in the USofA-
The first time I got married I was 20 - was divorced @ 22. Married a guy so he could stay in the US we got busted by INS but because I was living with the next husband. We got married when I was 24 divorced @ 50.
My parents will celebrate their 60th anniversary in 10 days. They were married at 18 and 20
My sister got married when she was 18 she celebrated her 39th anniversary yesterday.
I have 2 daughters one will be 23 next month the oldest will be 26 in Oct. Both live with their boyfriends and have for a few years. Will they ever marry- don't know. I know the oldest would like kids, but she also wants to become a nurse first.
I think because women have more options available to them they really don't need to get married like past generations.
age can have everything to do with the quality of a marriage and it can not. i look at my (while confident, strong, intelligent) mother as an example of how to not go into your marriage.
marriage requires more than love. it requires some money, wisdom, hobbies/passions, a hard look at who you are (faults and all), and an incredibly clear cut idea of who you want to marry.
Still I wouldn't recommend marrying so young to anyone else.
I did at least give serious thought to who I was marrying. I knew compatibility was important and that I had to accept him completely as he was. I think that's why these first 3 years have been so good.
But who knows about the future. People change. I'll cross that bridge when/if I get there. :)
Original Post by teatoddy:
age can have everything to do with the quality of a marriage and it can not. i look at my (while confident, strong, intelligent) mother as an example of how to not go into your marriage.
marriage requires more than love. it requires some money, wisdom, hobbies/passions, a hard look at who you are (faults and all), and an incredibly clear cut idea of who you want to marry.
perhaps barring money, wouldn't those things sort of fall under the love umbrella?
Original Post by kotov_syndrome:
Original Post by teatoddy:
age can have everything to do with the quality of a marriage and it can not. i look at my (while confident, strong, intelligent) mother as an example of how to not go into your marriage.
marriage requires more than love. it requires some money, wisdom, hobbies/passions, a hard look at who you are (faults and all), and an incredibly clear cut idea of who you want to marry.
perhaps barring money, wouldn't those things sort of fall under the love umbrella?
i don't feel like those items mean "love," rather it's more about finding an individual self awareness. oh, and not thinking someone else could fill in your own personal gaps in a personality.
Many issues as to when and who you should marry.
Different people become mature at different ages. Some people are happily married because one is mature and caring while the other needs that. Some are true partnerships between two people.
I've been married for 33 years and we have raised 3 beautiful confident daughters. I was 21. If you have strong family support that will allow you the luxury of a safety net for when you make mistakes then you can married earlier. If you need to provide your own safety net, then you will likely need to wait.
Also look for the person who you would call when you have ran out of toilet paper or have the world's worst cold. The person who makes you laugh. Ignore the one you want to impress because he or she will never be satisfied with you.
