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Getting married and freaked out!


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Hi,

Here is a question for all of you married people.  Is it normal to be really really nervous before your wedding day?  This is a description of how i feel-  I am about to go on a roller coaster that is really reeally scary and i don't really want to.  AHHHHHH! 

Please let me know.

Thanks
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i can't remember whether i was nervous or not. my wedding day was 38 years ago! yes, it's a roller-coaster ride, though. you have to be ready for anything. the highs AND the lows. and hang on tight!! (to each other.)
I wasn't nervous at all, just really excited.
I don‚??t know how normal it is for other people, but I was not nervous at all on my wedding day.  My fianc√© and I knew each other for year before we started dating, and had been going out for 3 years before we got engaged, so it just seemed like a natural step for us (in fact, according to friends and family, we apparently seemed married for over a year already, and the ceremony was a formality).  The most prevalent emotions on my wedding day were relief (didn‚??t have to plan a wedding any more), and a ‚??let‚??s get on with this so we can get to the party‚?Ě feeling.

When you say you ‚??don‚??t want to‚?Ě, do you mean you don‚??t want to get married, or you don‚??t want the roller coaster, scary feeling?

If you don‚??t want to get married, I‚??m afraid I can‚??t relate that to my own experience.  You could be just anxious (particularly if it‚??s a large wedding and you‚??re a perfectionist), or it could be a genuine concern about the commitment you‚??re about to make.  Is it just the wedding, is it the guy, the lifetime committment?

If you do really want to get married, and you‚??re nervous about the roller coaster feeling ‚?? well, I suppose it depends on the person, but roller coasters are FUN!  Sure they‚??re scary, but they‚??re an incredible rush, you get the wind in your face, they get your heart pumping, but they always eventually slow down to safety.  I hate to beat the analogy to death, but if you‚??ve got a good safety harness in place, and the tracks are solid, there‚??s no reason to worry.  I like merry go rounds as much as the next person, but I'll take the roller coaster over one any day.

Congratulations, and good luck!! :-)
i'm not sure i'm ready for the comittment or if i picked the right guy.

We have been dating for over three years and did not feel like this until about a month ago and now my wedding is saturday!
So why is there a wedding? Are you saying you arent sure if you wanna marry this guy?
It might be normal to freak out, I don't know. All I know is that I did not freak out at all. I knew right away I wanted to marry him (even before we started dating actually, and no I am not a stalker! lol).

I'm not going to tell you to cancel it or go for it. It could be a temporary freak out episode. Depending on how your relationship is, you could talk to him about it. Either he'll be understanding and reassuring or it will cause permanent damage.

It is too delicate and personal a question for you to seek advice online anyway. All I can say is to try to imagine that you break up right now. You are alone, he is totally out of your life. How do you feel?



RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!

Run now Run while you still can!

Run

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can give you two examples.  The first time I was married, I KNEW the day before our wedding that I didn't want to go through with it, but because all the arrangements had been made, the embarrassment of calling it off, blah, blah, blah....I went through with it.  And it didn't last a year.  But when I married the man I truly loved with all my heart, I knew it was right and there was no fear, only excitement of being together for the rest of our lives.  Marriage is a serious step and I think if you have any doubts at all, put it off until you're sure.  
Hell yeah , I was hella nervous. My husband was getting irritated by me because I was very nervous. I love him very much and we are still together. Maybe I was nervous because I was young or because I was 8 months pregnant walking down the isle. Whatever your case may be, if you really think this is the person you are suppose to be with don't worry about the nervousness. It is normal at times.
I think some jitters can be normal. If you're getting married in a church, maybe you should talk to the pastor/preacher/priest. Don't go through with it just because all the plans have been made though, because if you truly don't want to marry this guy, it'll end eventually. It would be best to get out now. I don't think feeling that way necessarily means you don't want to do it though, but you should probably talk to some type of counselor about it. It is a HUGE committment.
Wow - I agree the the other posters here - I'm not sure if you can get the in depth personal advice you need for this kind of thing over a message board.  However, I would like to remind you that the best relationships, with or without marriage, are based on honesty and trust.  You might want to consider talking about how you're feeling with your fiance, if you're comfortable.  It may very well be wedding ceremony jitters that may be eased once you express them.

I hope you work this out, and make a decision that will truly make you happy.
I think its normal to be nervous. I mean, its a big step!

I dont think it necessarily "means" anything.

I think everyone is different, some people get all freaked out by it, some people are totally nonchalent and dont worry at all, and some people are just really, really excited...

Just like some people worry more than others about anything and everything, I think some people get more freaked out by marriage/pregnancies/etc than others. Its just based on personalities, maybe?

Everyone is different! :o)
Nervous? ABSOLUTELY

Not wanting to go through with it, hmmm NOPE

If you are not sure you are doing the right thing or picking the right guy you probably are not.

Gut instinct, guiding feeling whatever y ou want to call it LISTEN.
I think I could be an authority.  I've been married three times.  The first time yes, the second time more, the third, not until the final moment.  Enjoy it, it's over too quick [I mean the day, not the marrage!]
I don't remember feeling nervous, but we got married a month after deciding to (we were engaged but thinking of a longer engagement) so i guess i didn't have time
I think Frothbeast has been married before also?

..

newflash I DIDN"T GET MARRIED!!!!
Good for you! Tell us what happened! *curious*
What made you change your mind?
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