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Getting Married At 18...Why Is It Looked Down Upon?


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Why is it typically looked down upon....and why do people say "you shouldnt get married so young" ?
Edited Mar 07 2008 18:40 by nomoreexcuses
Reason: Thread had degraded to exchange of personal insults & attacks on personal character, bickering; no valid discussion taking place.
304 Replies (last)
Because at the age of 18 you have hardly experienced life! 
even so....some couples who marry young stay together and experience life together.
You can still experience life when married...but I guess because it's a big decision, and maybe you don't want to be 'tied down' yet.

Ask them why they think it's a bad idea. See if they can back up their concerns in a constructive way.  I'm sure they don't want to close off communications with you.

 I was married at 21 and it ended in divorce, not because I wasn't very much in love, but because the world kicked our ass.

#5  
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I would look at historical evidence as well as current trends if answering this question.  Presumably there is nothing different about humanity today as compared to 100 years ago, when this could have been more accepted. 

I suspect that the current societal focus on individualism as separate from the traditional family is the reason.

#6  
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Because you aren't free to get an education unless you're at the same school.. and then you aren't free to transfer if you feel you need to.

Because the brain is not even fully developed until around 25, especially the areas that handle emotions and responsibility.

Because at 18 there is a good chance a girl hasn't dated many guys to compare the potential husband to.

Because most guys want to sleep around at 18, not get married. Even if they don't realize it.

Because at 18, a person has only just left the nest. He or she hasn't even had time to experience life as truly independent yet.

edit; Also, unless one of them has a lot of inherited money, the couple would have no place to live... 

Is there anything postive about getting married at 18?

lol.

What if you are economically stable, what if you are both getting an education..what if you both already have a house..and are able to pay the bills.....

Anything is possible.
I married young, and we ended up divorcing....I think at 18 you make different choices than you would at 25 or 30...you change a great deal throughout your life. Marriage is a big decision. I wouldn't want anyone to get a tattoo at 18...or pick a life mate. Why the hurry?
because at 18 you don't even know yourself, let alone anyone else.
#10  
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Most of the people I went to elementary school with are married, have been for a few years now. Some even have kids. I went to a Jewish school, and for most of them, marriage at 18 is the norm.

I think I would be happier now if I got married a few years ago. But seeing as I've never even made it past the first date, it doesn't look like that's in the cards for me in the immediate future. 

A large part of the reason people used to get married so young is because women needed someone to support them. After a certain age, they would be dismissed as a burden on her family.

I also believe that getting married young depends on the couple. At 18, you really don't know how to handle finances and you're not quite who you're going to be as an adult.  

i think getting married at 18 is just fine, if you plan to be dead by 35.  otherwise it's short sighted and naive.  almost everyone i know who married before they were 25 was divorced by 35.
#13  
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There are some positive things, but the question is what do you have to lose by waiting?

If the couple both has an education and has a house.. then that tells me someone got handed a lot of money from mommy and daddy. Which is not a bad thing; who doesn't want that? But it does mean that you've never had a chance to experience independence...which is important for learning and growth...

In today's society, 18 is a kid. I would tell an 18 year old not to get married for the same reasons a 15 or 16 year old shouldn't get married. -shrug-

And I'm 19. I have friends and family that got married at 18 and 19. Unfortunately none of those marriages turned out well and it was mostly because they did not wait long enough. At the time of the engagement, they insisted they were in love.

Original Post by ornellanicole2007:

Is there anything postive about getting married at 18?

 not that i can think of :(

unless it's the only way to get out of a wicked bad home situation 

Original Post by ornellanicole2007:

Is there anything postive about getting married at 18?

lol.

What if you are economically stable, what if you are both getting an education..what if you both already have a house..and are able to pay the bills.....
You won't get encouragement from me I'm afraid.  I've seen too much of life.  18 is barely out of childhood.  Marriage closes doors, especially for women.  What I've seen is girls dropping out of school to support their husbands who are still in school.  They never do go back to school themselves while their husband supports them.  And this is barring pregnancy, which will really end it for the girl.
Well this is my situation. Im 18 years old..I'll turn 19 this year. I've Been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. 3 years and 9 months to be exact.

I'll be going to Basic Training for the Air Force In June (Yes i know that some people think going to the military changes you) But thats besides the point.

If I do decide to marry my boyfriend We will be getting a basic housing allowence of 1,894 dollars a month for our current zip code while i am away and after 30 days we get an extra seperation pay of 250 dollars a month and on top of that i get my normal pay as a starting E-2 of 1509 dollars a month. And then he has is own income from his job and he will be going to school

We can afford a house  we can afford to pay our bills and to live comfertably. Our parents do support our decision if we do decide to marry.....but i dont think being married at 18 is as bad as people say..it just really depends on your situation.

Well, one positive thing is that my children are all nearly grown and I am relatively young. I sort of grew up with them. But it also means that I will have grandchildren younger as well. Yikes. Grandma?

But yeah....why not just remain a couple? What's the rush? How is getting married while still basically a child going to benefit you?

How is getting married while still basically a child going to benefit you?

For me, I want to get started with my life...I want to be some one in life...i just dont want to stay home and go to school and work at a dead end job....

I know what im doing..and its not really bad at all :)
#19  
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If you're marrying for the money, you're making the WRONG decision. -____- Marrying before going into the air force (and being separated)? Is it because you don't think he'll be celibate otherwise?

Of course every 18 year old couple says they are different, so I'm not going to continue trying to convince you otherwise.

 

haha...me marrying for money????? You dont know me at all to make that assumption.

Im just tellying you that we will be financially stable. I put all my trust and faith in him that he will never cheat on me. I just really love this kid (And yes I call him kid even if isnt). I cant even look at another guy =/
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