The Lounge
Moderators: spoiled_candy, Mollybygolly, nomoreexcuses, peaches0405


LOCKED TOPIC

Why do men with girlfriends flirt with other females?


Quote  |  Reply

I have many male friends who are currently in relationships, some having been dating for over a year and some are just together for about a few months.

My question is, why are they flirting with me?

They tell me that they are attracted to me, and tease me, and saying inappropriate things jokingly, but it doesn't stop at all. It makes me feel uncomfortable, although i am attracted to them, its unfair to their girlfriends!

I just want to know why guys do it, is it because they aren't happy with their current relationship? or what?!

Edited May 03 2010 20:22 by Sheila
Reason: Locked
92 Replies (last)
We could go with Freud and say, their unconscious desires are driving them to flirt. I.E their infatuation, their jokes are what they would really rather be doing.

Some times its fun to flirt, it just depends. Friendly flirting or the intent to flirt to lead to something more.
Possibly because they are looking for a little something on the side.

Possibly just to give themselves an ego boost by flirting with someone.

You should let them know that it makes you uncomfortable, though. Honesty is the best policy.
Honestly, it's probably just because they like flirting.  Or they're making jokes because they think they're funny.  I know a lot of guys that do this, doesn't mean they're not happy with the people they are currently dating.  Actually many of them will do it even if the girlfriend is there (I can only assume that the girls are ok with this or they would have asked them to stop)

I agree though, if it really makes you feel that uncomfortable you should let them know.
Some people are just.. naturally flirty. They might be aware that they are quite flirty or maybe they don't. Naturally flirty people are just like that, they aren't trying to hit on you or anything.

But on the other hand, there maybe be people who aren't taking his current relationship seriously and want some side flings - those you should be careful about.

-Lemon Jello
Why do men with girlfriends flirt with other females? Because they can ;)

Because flirting is fun and if you are a trusted girlfriend of the girlfriend, you are "safe" to flirt with.  Have fun, flirt back.  Be shameless and overt.  If he tries to make it move from beyond flirting, then you know he was after something else, and your friend should know.  Just make sure your friend knows what you're doing when you're flirting back. 

Of coruse, maybe I run with a flirty crowd where everyone flirts with everyone else, just because they can! 

Every guy is different.

My man and I have been together for almost three and a half years...and he LOVES to feel like he's single...he tells our friends all the time how beautiful they are and how wonderful they are. Though he's never actually told anyone "I'm ATTRACTED to you" (THAT is what makes me **** my head a bit at your situation). But in my case, I'm secure with my boyfriend and I know he's not going to leave me and I know he just is a flirty guy and loves talking to beautiful women (and it doesn't hurt/help? lol) that we're around them all the time.

Just remember, even if the girlfriend is all A OK with it, don't forget when all three of your are together to not make her feel like a third wheel *raises eyebrow* lol....

On the other hand, the guy could just be a total dirtbag and IS looking for something on the side.

Your best bet is to be clear with both him AND his girlfriend.

Edit: Hahah! I'm not going to edit out the stars because I think they're funny...I put c0ck my head, like...tilting it...nothing vulgar in that I don't think! LOL)
A lot of men do it to see if they are still "marketable," or in other words, they feel less sexy because they have been with the same woman for a while and they want to see if they can still attract the opposite sex besides their mate. Many women do this also. It's a selfish way for someone to find out if they've still "got it."
Everybody flirts.  I've been married for 19 years.  I flirt.  My husband flirts.  There are are dozens of reasons for it that have little or nothing to do with being attracted to the person.  Gaining points for possible future needs.  Making nice for work reasons.  Fun. 

Not that there is no attraction, just that there is a difference between flirting and acting on an attraction.   If it appears that a flirter is letting you know that he is interested in bringing things beyond the flirting stage, there are ways of letting them know that you are not interested without coming out and saying so - embarrassing them, and possibly yourself if you are mistaken. 

I think people have different definitions of flirting. For example, some girls I know claim to be talking in a "flirty" manner, when to me it just seems like they are talking. Is speaking to the opposite sex always flirting or something? Grow up.

If you think that this guy is hitting on you too much, I would give him the message "no" or just say it. If he continues, tell your friend. I would personally be pretty pissed if a friend of mine tried to lead my boyfrend on, or vise versa. It's just not respectful.

Zombie Wall Of Text. Ugh.

Thread is three years old.

Two zombie walls of text.  Double ugh

You wrote ALL of that from your cellphone? Undecided

Original Post by staci8:

well, i don't agree with kay_h because my boyfriend i been with for five years was a flirter when i first meet him.he was flirting with another woman on his job when i starting working their and plus having and affair with other women he didn't won't.he was something else and when i starting working at the same job he was working at.he started to talk to me.flirting with me. buying me things.anything i won't.he will buy i didn't have to ask for it i was not looking for nothing from him.he will just go get it without me knowing.yes i did like it because when he first seen me he said he loves me and i didn't believe him i had to see it to believe it i was staying with my parents house at the time and he was staying some where blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Charlie Brown's Parents noises here blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah someone needs to learn what the "enter" key does blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah paragraphs are not tools of socialist repression blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah huge unbroken blocks of text like this are hard to read, and beg to be mocked blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Burma shave blah blah blah blah blah blah blah he loves me but wanna do what he won't to do.put it ass this.he wanna have his cake and it to but i know in my heart he not going no where but i think i might be leaving him i tell him that all the time..because am tired of it...so i will have to say guys am sorry i don't agree with flirting..that what you have a woman for at home for to flirt with not no other man or woman thanks...

Bedit.

Edit - Also, men flirt because we can. It helps in several ways: one, you're spreading happiness around the planet. When you get flirted with, even innocently, it generally makes you feel pretty good. Two, it keeps your girlfriend or wife from taking you for granted if she sees that you're not a social invalid... which leads to three, wife/girlfriend then makes greater effort to check her crap and keep you happy.

Within reason, of course... if you're chatting up every woman you see with an eye to getting some on the sly, that's just abusive... but you can work a room and turn on the charm without it turning into something dangerous.

I wonder if some of these threads pop up on the "Hot Topics" page randomly and that's why they get responses a few years too late?

Maybe I'd better research this before I call another zombie out.

The same reason men with wives flirt - they like women! It's disrespectful so tell him how you feel about it.   Tell him that you know and accept that he looks - they do and always will.  It's usually harmless.  But he should respect your feelings about flirting in front of you.   Are you sure it's flirting or is he just friendly?  My hubby's very friendly - with everyone!  I don't take it personally.

Why are they flirting with you? -> Hope (that they will/can hook up with you), guys that say inappropriate things while flirting is a queue that they want something more than a good/fun chat. 

Original Post by kathygator:

Zombie Wall Of Text. Ugh.

Thread is three years old.

LOL, Kathy. I agree with you.

Original Post by stronger:

I have many male friends who are currently in relationships, some having been dating for over a year and some are just together for about a few months.

My question is, why are they flirting with me?

They tell me that they are attracted to me, and tease me, and saying inappropriate things jokingly, but it doesn't stop at all. It makes me feel uncomfortable, although i am attracted to them, its unfair to their girlfriends!

I just want to know why guys do it, is it because they aren't happy with their current relationship? or what?!


I think I see the problem.

 

Oh, this thread is 3 years old. Why do people do this?

 

92 Replies (last)
Recent Blog Post
Need a little spice on the side at dinner? Warm your fall meal with the heat and flavors of hot peppers tossed with cool, crisp Napa cabbage. Then, sit back and dream of warmer days

Continue reading...