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How much do men notice when women lose weight? (Boy advice needed!)


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Hey everyone.
I have a male friend that I've been very interested in for a long time. Unfortunately, I only see him during the summer.
I was pretty overweight when we met and stayed that way until last August, when I started dieting. I lost twenty-five pounds by April, when I-- completely unexpectedly-- ran into him at a convention! Needless to say, I was thrilled.
He didn't comment on my weight loss and was simply his usual, funny, warm self. I found myself wondering if he had noticed that anything was different but quickly setting myself straight: it's impossible to not notice, right?
When it was time to leave, he gave me a hug, which he had never done before. I was left wondering if he had just felt spontaneously affectionate or had noticed that I looked better and was responding to it.
Anyway, my question is this: Do you think he noticed the change? Does the hug mean that he might be starting to see me less as just a friend and more as someone of the opposite sex? Or am I reading too much into all of this?
Thanks for reading all of this. Any and all replies are deeply appreciated. :)
27 Replies (last)
Boy Elan...That's a toughy...2 thoughts here: First, I usually notice things like that myself...and I will usually mention it...but sometimes when I like the girl I don't becuase I have my "poker face" on...don't know why I do it, but I am a stupid guy...

Sounds like you have known this guy for a while and he hasn't Busted a Move yet...Either he is shy and you need to do it, or he just isn't interested...Either way, isn't it better to go for it and find out?

I was hoping to come up with a second thought by the end of the first, but I didn't...If I do come up with something, I'll let you know...I am such a hypocrite, because I am shy myself around girls i like...but my advice is to GO GET HIM!!!
carpe diem - take the chance.  you only live once  If he doesn't respond well, then move onto the next fish in the sea.  :)
My first thought is that he probably didn't say anything to you, not because he didn't notice, but because he didn't want to be rude...  I mean, by saying "have you lost weight?" and if you hadn't been trying to, or hadn't lost any at all, women have a way of turning it aroudn to "oh, so you thought I used to look fatter?!"  See what I mean?

Second, you can't tell anything by a single hug, especially when it is a good'bye hug.  You can tell something through body language though.  (I have a friend who is especially good at reading people... when I finally told her who I liked, she already knew! lol!)  How was the rest of the interaction?
Listen to this and then go for it..

If you think he likes you, than go for it.  Wait til you can handle possible rejection.

There was this guy that I wanted for years.  He would come over to my house everyday after school and we would shoot pool, and wrestle.. We came so close to kissing many many times.  You could literally feel the chemistry between us when we looked at eachother in the eyes, even friends and family noticed.  Neither one of us ever kissed the other, even though we had given eachother plenty of back massages and the like.  My parents used to let him spend the night at my house, too (so we had plenty of chances). 

Well.. Fast forward to now.  Here I am wondering "If I only would have".  He has a kid now and he's 20, and he's stuck with a girlfriend he was broken up with when he found out she was pregnant (and she had cheaten on him previously).  And, i'm with my boyfriend (who I love, but I'll never forget this other guy).  We went from seeing eachother every day, to not having seen eachother in 5 or 6 months. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about him and wish I didn't at least try planting a big fat wet kiss on him. 

So, my advice is to wait until you're comfortable, and try making a move.  Whether it be going to a movie or to hang out or whatever.

IT REALLY SUCKS TO WONDER "WHAT IF" FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  I would have prefered to have kiss him and get rejected then to never know.

That's my lesson in regrets!!

However, to what you were saying (I got off on a big tangent):

I'm sure he did notice, and you're disposition towards him changed and you were probably giving off a more positive, confident vibe (since you lost some weight).  Everyone likes that in a person.

He gave you a hug!!! He wasn't forced to do it, so he must've wanted to!  That's what that guy I like used to do..

Sorry for the rant, I just really miss that guy.
Guera!!!!  Great Post!!!!  I usually skip the long ones, but i am glad I read yours...I nominate you best post of the day...
Guys won't mention anything about weight, until they marry you - then POW!!! LOL!  J/K.  But seriously, they won't because it's such a touchy subject.  Truthfully, it would have been worse if he said too much about your weight

The hug may be because he's matured since you last saw him, and is more comfortable with himself, and it may be that he's been attracted to you all along.  He definately feels affection for you (unless he winced), so take a chance.  You might want to invite him to a movie (or over for a movie), with you and some of your friends (baby-steps - don't rush things).
#7  
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if am interested in a girl,trust me i will surely notice the wieght change big time, but if am not interested won't even care.
I wouldn't read anything into a hug. A hug can be a greeting or a goodbye or a nervous gesture. God, do I have to be paranoid now when I hug somebody that they're going to think I want them? haha

Actually, it's interesting that you think he could be interested because of the hug, yet it's somewhat of a negative that he didn't notice/complement you on the weight loss. Did he ask for your number or suggest getting together? THAT would signify "interest."
Perhaps he likes you for who you are, and doesn't care one way or the other whether you weigh more or less. :-)

I wouldn't be able to guess if he's interested in you "that way" or not.

Give it a shot. Go for it. If he doesn't go for it, at least you know. And if he goes for it, then big happies for you. :-)


Thatguy76-- Thank you!  I didn't realize how long it was until I posted it.  I'm glad someone read it.
Ha!...Thank you, Guera...Now I am hopefully gonna have the huevos to ask this girl out that I have been eyeing!!!

"Soooo Hot..."
LOL... Good luck with your "huevos", thatguy, serguramente los tienes..  Where did you learn that from?  Just get it over with and ask her out.  Better to be rejected and know, then not to be rejected and never know. 
No entiendo, Guera..."serguramente"?

I learned that in Spanish Class...We had  a pretty cool instructor!!
Lo que querĂ­a decir es "seguramente"..Eso significa "surely" o probably".

I always loved Spanish class.  They taught you what "huevos" meant.. That's funny.  Our teacher taught us about "nalgas".
I didn't know what "Nalgas" meant...so I did  a Yahoo Image Search and...

BOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOIOING!!!!!

so how do I tell someone Nice Nalgas?
"buenas nalgas"... I'm going to try that image search for nalgas.
Wow... You were'nt kidding!  There are a lot of "nalgas" when you do the image search!  I wasn't expecting that.
just don't mix the two and say buenos huevos nalgas  :)
elanorci,
I think everyone has given you some great advice.  You can't read too much into a hug.  It depends on how the conversation went and what you guys talked about.  If it was general forced conversation about things that had been going on or true catch up conversation then he could be interested.  Most guys won't say anything. 

My husband didn't say anything to me for a long time when he was away with business and I had lost weight.  He started to have insecure feelings and started getting nervous.  Even though guys don't mean to they tend to get very insecure when the girl they like are trying to better themselves.  Guys internalize this even though we don't think that they do.  I learned this from him actually talking to me for a change.  They begin to wonder if we are doing it for our own relationship, to persue another relationship, or why we are trying to make ourselves better.  I have a strong relationship with my husband now and he has become comfortable with me trying to better myself for my own health.  Sometimes the mind plays tricks.

I would ask him out in a friend situation and see what the vibes are telling you.  My husband and I were best friends for 10 years prior to starting to date and then get married.  So friends works well and then it turns into a better relationship if it can lead that way.  Just play the situation out and don't get to jumpy or antsy about what things mean.  Just take it nice and slow and see where it goes.
elanorci

as I've always said "3 out of the 4 voices in my head say go for it"

Also us guys are pretty simple creatures...for the most part. He probably hugged you to see what kind of reaction you would give him. so llega le con ganas.

Guera. where are you from? Yo soy Salvadoreno
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