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Moving out of my parents house for the first time!


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My boyfriend and I are moving out together. We applied for a one bedroom apartment yesterday. I'm really excited and I cannot wait to live on my own and decorate my apartment and have friends over, etc. At the same time I'm kind of scared and sad because I know a lot of my friends have moved out and are struggling and also because this is a BIG step in me and my boyfriends relationship. So, does anyone have any advice for me? Also I would like to hear how your experience was when you first moved out.

Thanks!
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well.. the first year living with my hunny was a bit rough.. we had to greatly improve our communication skills. Took awhile to get used to not having my mom clean up after me as I was a bit spoiled back home when it came to chores.

umm advice? Don't party every night, be nice to your landlord and neighbours, keep an account book writing down everything you buy/ spend money on,  have some kinda space that is yours and one for him.. a desk each maybe? (Im in a one room apartment) Its nice to have something/ some place all to yourself.
oh.. and keep an extra key :P Ive locked myself out once or twice... and had to be saved by my landlord.

oo how fun! my bf moved in with me about 6 months ago...i first moved out when i went to school...

financial stuff first I guess...I would keep everything separate from your bfs stuff (bank accounts, loans, etc) untill marriage occurs.  It makes things so much easier if anything bad should happen.  Its good to just act like roommates in the financial sense (i think atleast)  The way my bf and I do it, since i had the apartment before he moved in, is I pay for everything and he pays me a lump sum every month.  The way my last roommate and I did it, is we both wrote a check for each bill, splitting it 50/50.  It all depends on how much yall both make in income, as well as personal feelings about it.  But defin. talk about it BEFORE hand.  Also discuss what happens if one falls short a month, etc etc.  Talk about who buys what furniture (keep this sep. also if you can).  This of course this is just my opinion, some people have no issues doing everything together, but since bf isnt the most financially minded and i have a finance degree, it works out...and everything gets paid.  Talk about who buys groceries, etc etc etc..you get the picture.

I set up a budget for myself and bf...its a good thing to do when you first move out, keep track of every dollar and make sure you dont overspend with money you dont have.  Its not good to get into credit card debt so early (im assuming you are younger-ish?).  The more...uh disiplined i guess...you can be, i would imagine the better.  Make sure bf is on the same page, if you're a saver, its hard to live with somebody who thinks they dont make enough to save and spends spends spends like theres no tomorrow.  It will possibly keep you from struggling, live within your means, etc.  MSN has some good articles about that sort of thing if you are interested

As far as everything else, just communication.  You will both have things that bother each other, just make sure to talk it out before a big blow up and resentment happens (like cleaning, etc)  Thats also a good thing to talk about before hand. 

Also, some couples fill out formal agreements (google it) and sign them and whatnot, i didnt but its and interesting idea.

edited to add: what the poster above me said is also good advice.  Anything you dont konw how to do (cleaning, laundry, etc) you should learn.  Getting some of your fav family recipies is also not a bad idea as well.  Get those cooking skills down :).  It might be a little rough at first, but arguing isnt necessarily a bad thing if you do it correctly and dont build resentment to the breaking point.
I moved out a few months before my 17th birthday with my hubby (now) after five months of being together. And we're still together, going strong. We're still pretty financially indepedant, and he covers the main bills as i'm a student and dont have much money about ha!

My hubby had lived with his ex for many years so he was housetrainedish, I find myself doing all the cooking but i like looking after him in that sense (i even make his lunch for work) but he never asks me too and is always grateful. I think thats our key, never taking each other for granted and be thankful for things we do for each other.

(My friends joke mine and my hubbys key to success is never seeing each other, he works nights i study in the days - but we do make the most of time we have together)
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Congrats!!! you guys should be ok don't miss work not even when sick lol and watch every penny you spend and everything should work out just fine.
Thanks for the suggestions guys!! My boyfriend and I are planning on keeping things seperate but I'm not sure how things will work out. Most likely I will pay the bills and he will give me half, since we both make about the same amount of money (though he has higher bills). He is also looking into getting a part time since our budget is VERY tight. The cost of living in Florida has gone through the roof the past few years!!
well way to go for concidering that already!  I make 2.5X what my bf does, but we live in such a cheap apartment (in houston of all places) and the cost of living I've set up for myself is so low, that 50/50 is fair (its only $450/month..pretty good for a fully furnished apartment with highspeed internet, basic cable, bils paid etc and that includes his car insurance too haha) Hes only got to worry about his food when im out of town (i normally buy groceries other wise...thats another thing that balances out..i dont mind buying the food since he makes soo much less than i do)...and his cell bill which he NEVER pays on time...as we speak his phone is shut off...im just waiting for him to let me take it over and put his line with my plan so i can pay it and charge him for it...haha...hence me being the responsible one :d

when we buy a house...I will buy the house, he will rent from me...thats just how it is with us :D

yall just need to do whatever is good/comfy for yall :) im glad youll have discussed it....most dont then break up and all hell breaks lose with their intermingled finances :D
Advice ~ Don't let the little hairs in the sink bug you too much, make him clean up too, make time for yourself, let him have time to himself, leave nice little love notes on the mirror when he takes a shower, and the good 'ol favorite, don't go to bed angry.

Have fun, and make sure you unpack all the important things, men never know where to put anything!!! just jokes, it'll be so much fun.  You'll remember your first night in your new appartment for a long time!
my advice: watch your portions. i know it's totally left field, but i was 20lbs lighter when i lived alone. i read your profile and saw you lost 40lbs (?) congratulations on that! my boyfriend would dish me up dinner (we ate on the couch, bad i know, but we didn't have a table or a bar) anyway, he'd basically put half the food on my plate, and half on his. i'd eat it because it just didn't seem like enough to bother saving, and i didn't want to throw it out.  and like an earlier poster said, you kind of have to get used to the hair in the sink. and pick your battles. i've learned that most of the things i fought with other boyfriends about are just not worth fighting about. good luck.
Don't forget to call your Mom...that's my advice.  Can you tell I have already been through the empty nest thing?  If you don't call your Mom for weeks on end and you aren't there when she calls you, eventually she will imagine all sorts of terrible things and will not sleep well!!  And remember, Mom is a great source for all the things you will need that you didn't think of...we have tons of stuff just laying around.  She also wants to know you are eating well...we tend to worry that you will starve to death if we aren't feeding you ;-) 

Best advice I have...never get yourself in a position where you can't afford to live alone if he should leave or if you should want him to leave.  Too many people stay in relationships that have gone bad because they can't afford to leave.  I made that mistake once and will never put myself in that position again.

Best of luck to you as you spread your wings and fly.
This will either make or break your relationship! I've been living with my now fiance for about 3 years. I have to say that it's THE hardest thing I think either one of us has been through. There's A LOT of "getting used-to". I still don't think she's used to the way I live, I'm a bit of a slob sometimes.

Finance is the hardest part... There were a few times that we almost didn't make it... She wanted to go back to school and did for more than a year (she finally finished). And this put a ton of pressure on me. We had this huge 2 bedroom apt. with massive windows, so energy cost on top of rent killed me. That put a lot of stress on me and things got pretty bad.

I'm a saver and haven't been able to save a dime for over 2 years now. I do have investments that are growing because I was smart with my money at about the age of 19, so I'm not too worried about saving at this point. IF your a saver, start a plan... A budget is something that I do not have for some reason, but you should definitely make one!!!

Everything has turned out good so far. We just bought our first house 6 months ago to raise our daughter. So basically I'm all for living with the person you want to be with before marriage. You'll find a lot of people that disagree, but it's just too risky to marry before you know how someone lives IMO.
Agreen, I totally agree with you. My mom wants us to get married first but I think that it's too soon (I'm 21, he's 23 and we've been together for 2 years) and plus I want a decent sized wedding and we don't have the money for that yet. Also, getting married is simple, getting divorced is HARD and I'm NOT getting divorced so i want us both to be 1000000% ready before we get married. I would guess it will take us 2-4 years before we make that big step, and another 2-3 before we have kids!
^^ This is very true. The only bad part that I can think about living together first is that you'll never get to experience that "newlywed" romance. You know, getting married, then moving in the house together for the first time. After 2 or 3 years of living with your boyfriend or fiance it kind've takes the excitement out of a wedding... But like you said, it's harder to divorce than it is to marry, and your never sure if it's going to work... My honest opinion would be for you to first move out into your "own" apartment and just have him come over whenever he wants to stay or whatever.
For sure getting married when you're young is hard. I got married when I was 20 (although it is my husband's second marriage, he was 33 at the time) and I never thought that marriage would be like it is...in good and bad ways. Living together is fabulous. How else are you going to know what its like to be with someone 24/7 and be totally accountable to them with everything, money, time, ect. Its frickin tough sometimes, but totally worth it. Communication and honesty are key. Good luck to you and your honey!
I moved out at 20 years old and now eight years later I still don't miss being at home.   I LOVE having my own place with my husband (then boyfriend).   I do not regret it at all. 

The key... communication.. talk about everything under the sun whether it matters or not.   If something he does bugs you, then tell him right away in a nice way.  Take some time to do stuff alone like go out with friends or go shopping and you will do just fine.
I have another question for you guys, since you are all so helpful. So far, we already have furniture for the apartment, with the exception of the entertainment center. My question is should we buy other things ( pots pans, dinner ware, bathroom stuff, etc.) for the apartment now, or wait until we actually have the apartment to shop for all the stuff?
if you have the space and money..go for it :-P

(although id keep it boxed up...its a pain to move
Moving Day is tomorrow!! (there was a waiting list) We decided not to buy anything until we've gotten settles and actually see what we need because his mom has given us some stuff and so will others so we'll just wait and see and maybe throw a little "house" warming party! I still cannot beleive I'm moving I don't think reality will set in until they hand me the keys!
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