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need help winning an argument


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I'll admit right off this is a silly question.

My husband has decided not to wear his wedding ring to work because he doesn't want it to get scratched or dirty. He does have a job that can get a little gross, but I'm not sure how it gets scratched.

So he says he is a germophobe and having a dirty ring on his hand grosses him out and he doesn't want it getting scratched because the jewelry store we got it from went out of business so the warranty is void.

I said there are plenty of people that have jobs where their ring gets dirty or scratched but they still wear them. What I need are specific examples. Am I wrong in wanting him to wear his ring to work??? I'm not worried that he is cheating on me I just think he should wear it when he is out of the house.
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I think you're wrong. But I hate wearing jewelry.

And there are few things worse than a ring of grime around your finger from wearing a dirty ring.

Compromise.

Offer to buy him a cheaper ring to wear at work so he can leave his more valuable one at home. You can get a decent ring for $200.

What does your hub do?

When I worked in construction, none of the guys wore rings to work.  Too much crud and also too dangerous.  If he's doing things were he could lose a finger, I'll be siding with him.

Aww, I don't think it's a silly question. I totally get why you feel this way. I think under these circumstances, I'd probably cut him a little slack though.
He works with developmentally disabled people...no risk of losing a finger unless one bites really hard (bad joke). I honestly don't know how its getting scratched. Its mostly body fluids that he is grossed out about and rightly so. So I suggested he take the ring off and put it in his pocket before cleaning up the mess. Thanks for letting me know about construction workers though, because my initial response was "I bet construction workers wear their rings to work" I'll admit I was wrong on that point.

As for buying a cheaper ring, the rings we got were not expensive to begin with so that's not an option. If he really doesn't want to wear it I won't force him to.

Yeah, that's not exactly what I had in mind for a dangerous job!  :D  You can tell him that my husband wore a ring every day for the year and a half he worked in the psych ward of a regional hospital.  Nobody bit it or tried to throw poop at it or anything.

How long has he had the ring?  Maybe he's just not used to wearing one.

What about on a chain around his neck? Trying to help you find a happy medium.
Shouldn't he be wearing rubber gloves while cleaning up bodily fluids?

My husband wears his ring all the time to work, but I take mine off.  I don't want the diamonds on my band to get icky when I'm playing in the dirt (I do landscaping).  He doesn't exactly like it but then again I don't really care.  I think wearing a gross dirty ring is unsanitary.  I would think your husband would wear gloves if cleaning something gross, though.

SO, if you truly believe he's not wearing it because of the stuff that could get stuck on or under it then let him be--a good marriage isn't defined by a ring.

My husband tried this about 5 years ago.  We were in the car on the way to Florida for vacation, it was bothering his finger so he took it off (one of the edges was getting sharp).  It was perfectly understandable and I didn't think much of it at the time.  Weeks later, he was still ring free and it was bugging the hell out of me.

I never said a word.

Just one day I woke up, took off my wedding band/engagement ring and went about my business.   That got his attention in less than 12 hours.  He wanted to know why I wasn't wearing my rings.  I told him I thought it had become a "thing" around here and I wanted to play too. 

He was wearing his ring within 10 minutes and we bought him a new one shortly after that as it really was bothering his finger.  He just wasn't in a big hurry before my little rebellion to go get a new one. 

I didn't really win an argument with it I suppose, but I got my point across.

Original Post by ksmart1444:

I'll admit right off this is a silly question.

My husband has decided not to wear his wedding ring to work because he doesn't want it to get scratched or dirty. He does have a job that can get a little gross, but I'm not sure how it gets scratched.

So he says he is a germophobe and having a dirty ring on his hand grosses him out and he doesn't want it getting scratched because the jewelry store we got it from went out of business so the warranty is void.

I said there are plenty of people that have jobs where their ring gets dirty or scratched but they still wear them. What I need are specific examples. Am I wrong in wanting him to wear his ring to work??? I'm not worried that he is cheating on me I just think he should wear it when he is out of the house.

You're not wrong, and he isn't wrong, either. My guy has a messy job (mechanical crap) so he would have the same reason.

Compromise- Have him wear it around his neck on a strong chain he can tuck into his shirt whenever a dangly object might be dangerous or an otherwise bad idea.

Would that work?

 

Thanks everyone!

It sounds like some people take their rings off at work for legitimate reasons. My husband admitted it was mostly a germaphobe issue and he would wear his ring to work and take it off during those messy occasions. He does wear gloves but he is worried his ring will come off with the glove. I also found the lifetime warranty so that eased his mind about the ring getting scratched up.
Original Post by ksmart1444:

Thanks everyone!

It sounds like some people take their rings off at work for legitimate reasons. My husband admitted it was mostly a germaphobe issue and he would wear his ring to work and take it off during those messy occasions. He does wear gloves but he is worried his ring will come off with the glove. I also found the lifetime warranty so that eased his mind about the ring getting scratched up.


Yeah, whenever my engagement ring is finally made and finished and all that, I won't be wearing it all the time. I just don't see myself wearing a diamond ring while shoveling dog poo or chasing them around or whatever non-sparkly thing I'm doing in a given day.

I'll wear it out, and definitely when dressed up, but at home? nah. It will sit in a safe more often than not.

 

I agree buy him a cheap one you can replace

My husband works in a school for physically disabled kids. and Yes he is in the bathrooms dealing with diapers most days. He wears his ring everyday and has never had a problem. His is a plain gold band, with no markings, so I guess it would stay cleaner then one with diamonds or any texture.

I just asked him, and he said that since he is constantly washing his hands, and wearing gloves his ring is never dirty, and it fits him pretty tight so he has no worries of it falling off.

The only time I know of him taking off his ring is when he plays baseball or football. And he is too cute, letting me know why and exactly where he left it so I don't find it and freak out (not that I would). But we just passed the 1 year mark, so I assume he'll soon realize I'm not going anywhere :)

 

Kelrantymus thanks for the windex tip! I don't wear my ring for a lot of things either but I think wedding rings should be worn outside the house. I know if the tables were turned he'd want me to wear mine to work.

I don't wear my ring to work.  I wash dishes, my hands, and have to put on cheap gloves all day to make people sandwiches.  Too many ways for it to get scratched, it slows down putting on the cheap gloves, and it wants to fall off every time my hands get wet.  

I don't magically stop being married because I don't wear it.  I'd rather it stay looking nice instead of getting mangled and being sad that it's "ruined".

My husband and I both don't wear rings anymore. 

He works in construction and it is dangerous.  I don't wear it because I usually go to the gym after work and can't wear it working out.  On off days, I am just so use to not wearing it, I find it more comfortable without it.  I don't wear much jewelry on a daily basis, only earrings.

Neither one of us has a problem with not wearing a ring.  We've been married 23 years -- we know we are married.

I've been married for 30+ yrs and I haven't worn a ring for many many years but no one has ever mistaken me for being a single guy. My behavior will always show that I'm a devotedly married guy.

You won't get any help from me.

#20  
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My hubby's ring had become mangled at work and he didn't wear a ring for many years. It bothered me and we came up with a solution.  :)  He tatooed the date we became a couple on his ring finger.

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