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Overly dramatic mother?


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So this morning I woke up early to study, and I made myself some cinnamon gingerbread coffee. My mom apparently hates this and says she can still taste it when she makes her regular coffee, so I left her a note telling her to use the other coffee machine.

I just walked into the kitchen and she's furiously cleaning the coffee pot that I used, yelling at me to stop being lazy and use the other machine (and she just now told me where it is, so I couldn't have used it before O.o). She's angry at me for not cleaning the coffee pot myself after I "spoiled it" with my cinnamon gingerbread coffee, haha.

"Coffee is the only thing I enjoy in my life, don't ruin it for me!" is literally what she just screamed at me. How do I even respond to this? Do I go down and apologize or just let her calm down? I'm not used to getting yelled at about coffee makers at 10 in the morning :P

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Well it is about coffee

#2  
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There are deeper issues buried under the coffee ground.

Original Post by dark_angel_866:

So this morning I woke up early to study, and I made myself some cinnamon gingerbread coffee. My mom apparently hates this and says she can still taste it when she makes her regular coffee, so I left her a note telling her to use the other coffee machine.

I just walked into the kitchen and she's furiously cleaning the coffee pot that I used, yelling at me to stop being lazy and use the other machine (and she just now told me where it is, so I couldn't have used it before O.o). She's angry at me for not cleaning the coffee pot myself after I "spoiled it" with my cinnamon gingerbread coffee, haha.

"Coffee is the only thing I enjoy in my life, don't ruin it for me!" is literally what she just screamed at me. How do I even respond to this? Do I go down and apologize or just let her calm down? I'm not used to getting yelled at about coffee makers at 10 in the morning :P

Huh. Neither.

Wait a while, then go invite her to do something you know she likes to do. Don't even mention her outburst. The invitation could be for now, or another day or whatever, but she may be needing some cheering up in general.

My Mom screams about stupid things, too..and it's usually when she's bothered by something else.

If you think it's actually about the coffee machine (like you invaded her space and wrecked a personal item of hers..) Get her a new one if you can.

 

or clean it out after you put crap in her coffeepot. 

Original Post by raychelc:

Original Post by dark_angel_866:

So this morning I woke up early to study, and I made myself some cinnamon gingerbread coffee. My mom apparently hates this and says she can still taste it when she makes her regular coffee, so I left her a note telling her to use the other coffee machine.

I just walked into the kitchen and she's furiously cleaning the coffee pot that I used, yelling at me to stop being lazy and use the other machine (and she just now told me where it is, so I couldn't have used it before O.o). She's angry at me for not cleaning the coffee pot myself after I "spoiled it" with my cinnamon gingerbread coffee, haha.

"Coffee is the only thing I enjoy in my life, don't ruin it for me!" is literally what she just screamed at me. How do I even respond to this? Do I go down and apologize or just let her calm down? I'm not used to getting yelled at about coffee makers at 10 in the morning :P

Huh. Neither.

Wait a while, then go invite her to do something you know she likes to do. Don't even mention her outburst. The invitation could be for now, or another day or whatever, but she may be needing some cheering up in general.

My Mom screams about stupid things, too..and it's usually when she's bothered by something else.

If you think it's actually about the coffee machine (like you invaded her space and wrecked a personal item of hers..) Get her a new one if you can.

 

My mom puts cinnamon in her coffee grounds. It doesn't wreck the coffee maker, but you do have to rinse out the little hopper where you put the coffee filter. Ours is removable, so I just rinse it out before I make my coffee. 

To the OP, the next time you add some spice to your coffee, rinse out the hopper where you put the filter. The smell of ginger should go away.

Beyond that,  I honestly don't think this has anything to do with coffee. Your mom has got something else that is bothering her, an this probably just sent her over the edge. 

You know, the mom may not have psychological problems, control issues, or a pending emotional catastrophe. She might be mad that her kid did something she was asked not to do, then left it for the mom to clean up. As a mom, this would piss me off, especially on Sunday morning.

And seriously dark_angel, how hard is it to find another appliance in the house you live in? 

Original Post by rosieii:

You know, the mom may not have psychological problems, control issues, or a pending emotional catastrophe. She might be mad that her kid did something she was asked not to do, then left it for the mom to clean up. As a mom, this would piss me off, especially on Sunday morning.

And seriously dark_angel, how hard is it to find another appliance in the house you live in? 

I can agree with this too. I was mostly referring to the comment of "Coffee is the only thing I enjoy in my life, don't ruin it for me!" - that made me think that there was more to her anger than just being mad at her kid for doing something she had asked her not to do. 

I'm sorry if the confrontation was upsetting for you, but I just thought this was kind of funny....!! Two coffee makers in one house?? 21st century problems, as I say to my boyfriend when I overcook his toast, or something.

Yeah, I guess it was my fault >.< I apologized, and she said she didn't intend to be mean, she just wants more help around the house. I only wish she could have said that this morning instead of yelling at me about coffee.

And to my defense, the other coffee maker was tucked away in the linen closet, which I've only opened like 3 times, so I really couldn't have known it was in there. I rarely even make coffee, but from now on I'm definitely using the other one ;)

I have two coffee pots.  One that goes under my cupboards and we use everyday and one of those thermal carafes ones to take outside in the nicer weather.

When a mother says that 'the only thing she has to look forward to is her coffee'  I read that as she is frustrated with something in her life.
Please do something nice for your mom today, even if it is only a hug and an I love you. 

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

I have two coffee pots.  One that goes under my cupboards and we use everyday and one of those thermal carafes ones to take outside in the nicer weather.

When a mother says that 'the only thing she has to look forward to is her coffee'  I read that as she is frustrated with something in her life.
Please do something nice for your mom today, even if it is only a hug and an I love you. 

This. I also react that way if I've asked my son to something 50 billion times ans he still doesn't, especially if I'm having a really bad day.

Original Post by dark_angel_866:

Yeah, I guess it was my fault >.< I apologized, and she said she didn't intend to be mean, she just wants more help around the house. I only wish she could have said that this morning instead of yelling at me about coffee.

And to my defense, the other coffee maker was tucked away in the linen closet, which I've only opened like 3 times, so I really couldn't have known it was in there. I rarely even make coffee, but from now on I'm definitely using the other one ;)

Good. So it was about something else. Why not occasionally empty the dishwasher, too, without being asked. Or do some vacuuming.

Some people suck stuff up until they explode. Confusing for their peers but not unusual. Use your own coffee pot. And in a quiet and calm moment why not ask her to say something if she's bothered before she is so frustrated that she explodes.

Adults, especially parents, are notoriously stressed and almost constantly tired (You'll get to experience this yourself soon enough) It's the little things that keep them going and a spoilt coffee in the morning can really be the final straw.

 

And to be honest: If anybody ever puts coffee in my one and only tea mug which I bought in Denmark at the age of 18 after a 4 hour cycle tour against the wind, I will have to kill them, sorry, that's just the way it is.

Original Post by dark_angel_866:

Yeah, I guess it was my fault >.< I apologized, and she said she didn't intend to be mean, she just wants more help around the house. I only wish she could have said that this morning instead of yelling at me about coffee.

And to my defense, the other coffee maker was tucked away in the linen closet, which I've only opened like 3 times, so I really couldn't have known it was in there. I rarely even make coffee, but from now on I'm definitely using the other one ;)

How do you change the sheets on your bed if you don't open the linen closet? Tongue out

I'm glad you apologized to your mom. I bet she felt a lot better.

#14  
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Just tell her you're sorry and won't let it happen again. You didn't realize how much something so little could make such an effect. or something like that.

As a mom, I can agree with the thought that the coffee maker was just the last straw and she couldn't hold in the out burst any longer. I get that way too. We try to rise above the "little things", but they add up and become TOO MUCH to handle. I am sure that you are one of the joys in her day.

Original Post by spoiled_candy:

When a mother says that 'the only thing she has to look forward to is her coffee'  I read that as she is frustrated with something in her life.
Please do something nice for your mom today, even if it is only a hug and an I love you. 

Operant conditioning would suggest that rewarding this behavior makes it likely to recur. I understand parental angst, but the fact remains that assaulting someone for dirtying a coffeepot is a disproportionate reaction.

Would it be okay for the daughter to scream at her mother for this scenario? Then why does the mother get a pass?

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