where are the parents?
I didnt know where lese to post this but i wanted to know other peoples opinions about it.
I live in a really huge apartment complex and my balcony faces a huge courtyard filled with some trees grass a sand box and some benches and all the time i see kids playing out there. now its great that they are outside and having fun running around and playing but there is rarely ever a parent watching any of them and some of these kids are out there alone and are quite young. What i dont get is why these parents arent watching their children, there is nothing keeping people who do not live in the apartments out of this court yard and a few months ago the police came in and arrested 2 child molesters who were living in the building and had not reported that they were (or something along those lines) anyway to say the least i dont get how they feel comfortable letting them be out there alone. I would never let my son play outside unsupervised because you never know what will happen. then there are those who have older children who maybe do not need supervision but they get into worse things such as vandalism (sorry if its spelled wrong). I am just curious what these parents are doing and why they dont seem to care.
maybe the parents are working or busy. I know its not a good excuse, but its probably the reason. I get paranoid about my families safety too. I used to watch my little sister like a hawk to make sure she was always safe. Even my parents think Im too protective of her.
i get being busy and all that but some of these kids are like 4 years old or younger and they are out there alone i think thats what i have a harder time understanding after a certain age they understand "stranger danger" a bit better but at that age shouldnt someone be there?
Being busy is a poor excuse to not watch where your children are. If your child is hurt or god forbid something worse you'd have no one to blame (other than the psycho if another person is involved). Yes, I get accidents can happen but mindlessly letting your child run wild without any supervision is insanely dangerous.
I saw this once in a park, there were NO parents anywhere and I got worried because there were 2 little girls all alone, I was walking with my husband around the park (this was in the UK), I kept an eye on them the entire time, I was so worried for their safety. On my way home I saw them crossing the street holding hands together going home (I hope..). =/
That's really a shame that they are not being watched and I two have been at the playground with my daughter and seen other kids playing and I know they are not being supervised. I can easily say when we are leaving to the child do you want us to walk you home or We are going home now maybe you should too and walk them home. But it would make it hard if I didn't have my daughter with me I would be afraid that someone would think I was trying to kidnap them and have me arrested even if I had good intentions. I know sometimes kids can get away from you and you don't even know it. Or your older child is suppose to be watching them and didn't. Has happened to me one time my daughter walked down to the neighbors while I was taking a shower. And older sister was suppose to be watching her. Lucky when I got out of the shower I asked her where she was and she said IDK and I went out looking for her in a towel but did anyway. I saw her on side the roade. 15 mins later a Sheriff car pulled in the driveway asking I she had been walking down the road and I said "yes I got her". Someone saw her walking and called them (which is probable the safest thing to do but be sure no one knows it was you because Social Serivices can be called if the parents didn't know or are not watching them you may hear slack about it).She was 4 and wanted to play with the dog.When I found her I freaked and instead of yelling sat down on the ground holding her sobbing unconrollable made her realize how dangerous it really is or maybe she didn't want mommy to get upset again because Now that she is 7 she never leaves my side I go to the bathroom she goes to the bathroom, I taking a shower she right there. If we go shopping and I leave her line of sight she freaks out and when she sees me she lets me know that she is affraid that I (Me, her mom) got lost or kidnapped. Her Daddy Calls her his proctoigist (sp?_) (not to her face) as she walks right behind him all the time won't let him out of her site and every time he stops she bumps into him, She follows him around the house like that and if he goes to the bathroom she stands outside the door and talks to him. She has gotten alot better I have to admit. If we go shopping she will run down an Isle to get Cereal while I stand at the end of it but and runs back, she will go in the ladies room but I have to stand at the door and ask her "Everything okay every few minutes so she knows I am there. So she is learning Independance.
A lot of people seem to think that the best method of parenting is a "lessez faire" approach. Heaven forbid a parent should be inconvenienced by having to watch their kids or cramp the childs independence.
We went to Disney World this spring with our kids (4, 6, 12) and there were few moments when we weren't making physical contact with them, especially the youngest two. Despite the absolute swarming mass of humanity, there were many kids who were allowed to run around without a parent close by.
There's way too much scary stuff (and scary people) out there to not be cautious. I'd rather err on that side than to give them all kinds of leeway and then should something happen, spend the rest of my life agonizing over "if only I'd _____".
Perhaps the parents are watching their kids from the same side of the building that you are through their own windows.
My personal opinion is that helicopter parents cause more harm to children than laissez faire parents.
Honestly you might not see a parent but they could be inside watching from the windows. When we lived on base and my son was a newborn it was too hot to have him out in the August/Sept heat so rather then leaving him unattended (our baby monitor always got interference from our neighbors) I'd keep an eye on the girls from the back room (all windows) or from the porch. Chances are I'd be running wash (cloth diapers) that would need to get out on the line so I'd be in and out anyways.
So there's always that chance. There's a few houses near the park that parents are able to do that now and keep an eye on their kids. And then for some of them.. they have this "Won't happen to me" attitude.
I know as a parent of 4 that there's times when you just need 10 minutes to yourself to get Something accomplished....wait.... that's called Summer when all 4 of them are home all day long! Kidding lol. Kindergarten or younger I think should be with an adult....point blank....unless they're in direct line of sight from home. Older then that then it depends on the kids. And then with the older watching younger, I don't take the chance. Even with my kids being careful to watch their little sister (she's 4) I wouldn't trust my 10 yr old to keep tabs on her without me there. I'm able to sit and draw at one of the benches while they play and I have piece of mind =)
and to the vandalism and etc that the older kids get into.... it's not a problem around here but I'd expect so many of us at that age did write things like "Sue was here" and whatnot on park phones and the like. I chalk it up to boredom. Combatting it, if kids are showing a gift at tagging then I'd be getting them into art more. My oldest showed talent with drawing, got in some serious trouble for doing it on one of her walls, and now has her own supplies. Somehow she thought taking a piece of my canvas would be worse then her wall...silly kiddo!
#7- well yes, that can be true. Except in cases where the kid is killed (or sometimes worse) due to lack of parental supervision.
I grew up running around without a lot of parental supervision, and I developed my own sense of independence and responsibility because of it. Yes, there is a chance some child molester might come along. Same as there's a chance of a car or plane crashing, or any number of terrible things. I think a lot of parents are way too over-protective of their kids these days.
Original Post by merylwhite1:
I grew up running around without a lot of parental supervision, and I developed my own sense of independence and responsibility because of it. Yes, there is a chance some child molester might come along. Same as there's a chance of a car or plane crashing, or any number of terrible things. I think a lot of parents are way too over-protective of their kids these days.
This.
These kids are out playing in what is essentially their back-yard, I don't think that warrants being watched like a hawk ever second their out there.
Original Post by dnrothx:
Perhaps the parents are watching their kids from the same side of the building that you are through their own windows.
the way the building is made from my balcony i can see through their windows if i look and this one little girl that is out there everyday i know they dont watch her because if the little girl wants to talk to them she has to walk into the appartment and go find mom or dad (they live pretty close to me and this little girl yells alot) one time they didnt notice her walking all the way to the parking lot until she was already there and this courtyard really is huge and that was a long distance for a kid that small, i think the only reason she noticed was she probably couldnt hear her or decided to look and she was gone.
Original Post by ladyduece:
Honestly you might not see a parent but they could be inside watching from the windows. When we lived on base and my son was a newborn it was too hot to have him out in the August/Sept heat so rather then leaving him unattended (our baby monitor always got interference from our neighbors) I'd keep an eye on the girls from the back room (all windows) or from the porch. Chances are I'd be running wash (cloth diapers) that would need to get out on the line so I'd be in and out anyways.
So there's always that chance. There's a few houses near the park that parents are able to do that now and keep an eye on their kids. And then for some of them.. they have this "Won't happen to me" attitude.
I know as a parent of 4 that there's times when you just need 10 minutes to yourself to get Something accomplished....wait.... that's called Summer when all 4 of them are home all day long! Kidding lol. Kindergarten or younger I think should be with an adult....point blank....unless they're in direct line of sight from home. Older then that then it depends on the kids. And then with the older watching younger, I don't take the chance. Even with my kids being careful to watch their little sister (she's 4) I wouldn't trust my 10 yr old to keep tabs on her without me there. I'm able to sit and draw at one of the benches while they play and I have piece of mind =)
and to the vandalism and etc that the older kids get into.... it's not a problem around here but I'd expect so many of us at that age did write things like "Sue was here" and whatnot on park phones and the like. I chalk it up to boredom. Combatting it, if kids are showing a gift at tagging then I'd be getting them into art more. My oldest showed talent with drawing, got in some serious trouble for doing it on one of her walls, and now has her own supplies. Somehow she thought taking a piece of my canvas would be worse then her wall...silly kiddo!
I agree with a bunch of what you said that after a certain age its not as big a deal and that younger ones should be watched more that was more my point to this whole thing that these kids are tiny anyone can come in here on one side is a parking lot and the other side the river so yes i think these kids should have a parent with them, unless they are older and know and follow rules.
as for the vandalism its more like broken car windows and paintballing the building ripping the exit signs out and the emergency lights in the hall for when the power goes out. tagging and graffiti is nothing in comparison to the actual dammage they do.
Original Post by merylwhite1:
I grew up running around without a lot of parental supervision, and I developed my own sense of independence and responsibility because of it. Yes, there is a chance some child molester might come along. Same as there's a chance of a car or plane crashing, or any number of terrible things. I think a lot of parents are way too over-protective of their kids these days.
Meh..there seem to be alot more cases of abductions and molestations than there used to be. I grew up like this too...but things seem to be worse now. I'm not sure I'd let my 4 year old daughter play somewhere where I was not within about a 30 second run of a distance.
And as far as helicopter parents versus laissez faire parents.....I think there's gotta be some kind of good middle ground between the two extremes.
Most abductions are by someone the family or child knows. There really are very few stranger abductions. The stranger abductions that do occur get a lot of press and airtime and make people think their kids are in constant danger of being snatched by a stranger.
I remember my mom scaring me with the "anyone could just snatch you away" lecture and this was the 60's.
Children under 5 need constant supervision. After about 5 it depends on the child.
I still believe that over-protective helicopter parents cause much more harm to their children than the ones who aren't watching every second of every day.
I disagree. I think 5 years is a little young still...but that's just me. Now if you are talking supervision around the house, that's one thing. But no supervision in a public playground? Come on.
And I think it depends on what exactly you mean when you mean helicopter parents. What the OP was describing was not a lack of parents that "hover". She was talking about a lack of parents altogether....and for some very young children. That, I disagree with.
Yeah. I also heard that. That most kids/teens who are truly abducted, are taken by a family member or an acquaintance. It was like something like 25% of children abductions that were actually by strangers. Almost all kids kidnapped by strangers are taken by men too. They said like two thirds of stranger abductions involve female children. It still concerns me in every way regardless. Most people aren't truly concerned by smaller percentages of risk,imo. That isn't just with child abductions but with everything. The potential risk aren't as real until they're a part of the statistic. It's important to set boundaries for our children. In general and about the places kids are allowed to go. Children need to be supervised in places like: malls/parks/ movie theaters/public bathrooms/ while fund-raising door to door. ( Even on Halloween. imo )/pools,Etc. It's a matter of taking safety precautions to avoid potential harm. That's all. People should consider that before becoming parents. There's no excuse for being negligent in providing supervision to children. The threat remain whether it's high enough to worry some people or not. Those with a rational and logical mindset will set boundaries for their children as a safety precaution,imo. Anything can be taken to an unhealthy extreame. That's fact. That doesn't mean we stop supervising our children at the park when they start kindergarten in my view. It means that our supervision/parenting evolves as the child grow/matures. It's important to provide adequate supervision at all ages. Adequate supervision is totally dependent on the age of the child in question,imo. It's not only about potential child predators though in my view. Children of different ages and levels of physical ability use playground equipment very differently and require different levels of supervision for that reason too. I think we should adjust our level of supervision as our children advance.
If anyone needs a kick in the pants its the parents.
Here is a very recent incident in my province of child abduction. An Amber alert wasnt issued until almost 1 week later b/c the footage taken showed little Tori walking away willingly with a woman.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpres s/article/ALeqM5h5vMnSkMYEeUO-df_82o8woZd9fA
http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2009/0 6/05/9683541-sun.html
Original Post by spuckine1:
If anyone needs a kick in the pants its the parents.
Here is a very recent incident in my province of child abduction. An Amber alert wasnt issued until almost 1 week later b/c the footage taken showed little Tori walking away willingly with a woman.
http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpres s/article/ALeqM5h5vMnSkMYEeUO-df_82o8woZd9fA
http://lfpress.ca/newsstand/News/Local/2009/0 6/05/9683541-sun.html
That's sad.
There is extreme over-protection and then there is safety. You can have a happy medium.
