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Why do people treat fat people like they do not exist?


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I am so sick of it .  I am overweight now,  but was not always overweight.. People treat me so badly now . I am a friendly person I work in a large building where people are very snotty to me. I constantly say hello to people while walking down long hallways. there will be no one else around, and very nicely I will say hello as I pass usually they do everything not to look at me , and they just ignore me and keep walking. Is it because I am overweight  because I see them with others and it is not this way. Or do you think people are just raised rude. I dress nicely and stay up on the latest trends I just do not understand how people can be so nasty.

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I am truly sorry to hear that.  You know, I think people just discriminate in general.  I'm treated differently because I'm the only one in my office who doesn't have kids.  People have given me crap because I've stayed home before to take care of my sick dog or cats.  Apparently it's only ok if it's humans that I'm taking care of.

Bottom line...society is just judgemental.

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You don't really know why it is that they are "snotty" towards you.  It is probably nothing to do with you, maybe they are just not happy people.  Or maybe they have know these other people for 25 years and they just take sometime to get to know you. 

But ultimately why worry what other people are thinking?  As long as you are happy in your self and that you are treating others as you would want to be treated.  You can't be friends with everyone else and as long as you treat them decently, they will come around to be friendly and even saying hello back, if they don't, well that is their problem not yours. 

Life is too short and precious to worry about (and trying to guess) what everybody is thinking.

I agree with Doddy, not everyone means to be mean when they do not say hello. sure, some of them may not like fat people, others may just be very busy, or not know what to do. I know for the first few months of Moving to America, I did not say hello to people when random people would shout it out to me, mostly because where I come from people aren't as 'chatty' as Americans are. almost all of my friends who are very close now all came to me at one point and told me they thought I was a stuck up you-know-what because I would not say hello to people, when in all honesty, I barely knew the language well enough to try and speak to them or I was so startled strangers would say 'good morning' to me!

You should not worry about those people, not everyone blows you off and those who do, who cares, yes?

I don't say hello to anyone passing me. It has nothing to do with the way they look. I just don't talk to random people unless I've had a couple drinks. haha

As for work, I say hi to everyone there but the academy I work in is very small (staff and teachers= 12 people). 

It can hurt to feel invisible, but sometimes it's our own doing.  Just by way of example, you've been a member here for over 8 months baby, and you still haven't committed to the point of posting even a basic profile.  Please don't misconstrue - I'm not judging in any way, but is it possible that, even subconsciously, your self esteem is a bit low just now and you want to avoid contact with others? 

Just a thought.

Hugz, Split

I also do not say hello to strangers or engage in conversation when someone initiates it.  I do not know what to say and feel awkward, but the worst part is trying to end some awkward small talk conversation, which is particularly irritating to me.  So I don't let it start.

I am a reserved shy person at first, and the people I would tend to make friends with would not be the outgoing type who say hello to strangers, so I find it pointless to encourage it.  Furthermore, strangers who approach me usually end up offending me in the first 5 seconds by commenting on my physical appearance or my name, which is slightly unusual.

If people are ignoring you, it's not necessarily because you're overweight or because they're being nasty. 

Sounds like city life to me.

Baby,

I've experienced the same thing.  Especially with sales people or check out clerks.  They'll offer the thin person ahead of me help, talk to them, etc.  Then, when it's my turn, it's like I'm not even there.  Well, that's how it used to be.  60 pounds lighter, and I'm not experiencing that anymore.  I still have about 40 pounds to go, but apparently now I'm no longer see-through.  So, no, you aren't imagining it, and you aren't alone.  But the good news is that you become more opaque as you lose weight, so keep up the good work!

I think folk are just rude! I don't think it has so much to do with weight, I work with folk who one day they are all let's talk the next day it's like you are a complete stranger to them, I play them at their own game I refuse to allow folk to pick and choose when they will be polite, ignore me once then forget it unless it's work related you don't exist to me!

I can be rude too you know, but only when provoked!

Wow...I must have lived here in the south too long.  If you don't make eye contact and say hello in the halls at work, you are labelled rude.  That is right up there with not holding a door for someone who is behind you.  It is not a conversation starter, just an acknowledgement that the person exists.  A good morning with a smile can go a long way in setting the mood for the day.

I think a lot of the it is because of the weight.  I don't say good morning unless someone says it to me but I do give a smile.  A lot of times they won't even smile back.  Once I was walking behind a thin girl and this man when out of his way to hold the door open for her (I was RIGHT behind her) and he let the door swing shut in my face!  Also, a few weekends ago I went out with my friend. It was 2am (bars closing) and as we're walking a drunk guy ran up smiling wanting a high five from her and then he stumbled, focused on me, gave me a look of utter disgust and walked WAY around me... Or, as I've mentioned on here before.. you're walking down the hallway and people litterally hug the wall as if you are really 5 ft WIDE.  I've been both sizes and I can 100% say that fat people are invisible a LOT of the time.

Original Post by splitrail:

It can hurt to feel invisible, but sometimes it's our own doing.  Just by way of example, you've been a member here for over 8 months baby, and you still haven't committed to the point of posting even a basic profile.  Please don't misconstrue - I'm not judging in any way, but is it possible that, even subconsciously, your self esteem is a bit low just now and you want to avoid contact with others? 

Just a thought.

Hugz, Split

 Interesting perspective. More often than not, random normal-sized people say hello to me first, even though I carry an extra 100 pounds.

jennifer - if it makes you feel better, I am now at a completely healthy weight (21 BMI?) and some people still hug the wall when passing me. It isn't my size... it's just them being weird and socially awkward.

Well some probably are weird.. but I've seen some walk past a thinner person and then hug the wall when they pass me.

LOL this reminds me of a story an ex-friend told me.  She was in line to get on the airplane and a man behind her said 'Uggh! I can't believe they're letting someone like that on! She's going to take up the whole plane!".   She was so upset and she told me.. I would take up two seat.. not the WHOLE plane.. my God! The WHOLE plane? LOL  We laughed about that.

I don't always say hi to people because I'm in my own head, but if someone says "hi" to me I do answer them back. I think that's the least people can do.

coffincritter - I thought you just hissed at them and gave them devil horns?  ;)

People do treat overweight individuals differently. I have been a size 2 and a size 18. I got so much more attention and conversation when I was small. I too walk down the halls and say hello and some people just pretend I'm not even there. Since I have lost 42 lbs those same people now acknowledge me. I wonder if they realize I'm the same person! I don't think they do.

LOL r4eboxer!! 

Yep, even in losing 20lbs you get one more 'smile' or one more 'hello'... People slowly start being kinder the more you lose.

Original Post by jenniferthepennifer:

coffincritter - I thought you just hissed at them and gave them devil horns?  ;)

Only the ones I hate.
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