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How do you prepare yourself for the worst? My baby niece, 8 months old, is having a major surgery to remove a growth that starts in her throat and has reached her lungs.

The consultation is Friday but the surgeon told my mom that there is a chance that she won't make it through the surgery. (I know this is a risk with every surgery so don't even bring it up in comments cause I'm still freaked out.)

What if she doesn't make it? How will I deal with that? How will I help my mom deal with it?

60 Replies (last)

I'm the LAST person on earth to give you advice on how to prepare for the worst... and I really don't have any real good advice... basically, I suck, and I just want to say I'm sorry for everything you and baby are going through.

Be strong for her. You are allowed to be upset. Cry about it. Lean on your husband for emotional support. Thinking of you and her every day.

I Have no advice but I wanted to give you a hug and wish you and your niece lots of love and comfort. I hope Everything goes smoothly.

I don't suppose this will be much help, but just focus on what you NEED to do, rather than what you think you should do.  I think we instinctively know more than we realise, but get bogged down in the shoulds rather than just doing.  Look after yourself, or you won't be able to look after anyone else. 

Love to you all.

I don't know if you can ever be really prepared.  Just be suportive.  Know that it is okay to feel the emotions you are feeling and that you are not alone.  Others are feeling them too.  Just be extra kind with your family.  This is a good time to be extra friendly.  Personally, I like to do things for people when I feel helpless.  maybe I will clean my sister's house if she's having a hard time, or cooking a meal when my mom is having a bad day.  Things like this help.  Talking helps too.  Just be available. 

You don't know what will happen.  So, take each day at a time.  Thinking too much more in the future can be really overwhelming. 

Thank you, Rox. You don't suck. You're amazing!

You can't; I agree with Neko.

I am focusing all possible energy for healing, wellness, and recovery for that little girl. I will give no thought to a possible negative outcome.

Let us be warriors, and ignore our fear.

(((ACZ)))

Original Post by aczinder:

Thank you, Rox. You don't suck. You're amazing!

You are strong... and brave. And so is little Ezra. What a little warrior she is. She's got this.

I don't think you can ever prepare for something like this :(  Just take one day at a time and do the best you can.  I am so sorry your family has to go thru this.

Oh, Anna.  Honey. 

I'm not going to give you the risk with every surgery line, but being the daughter of someone who was read their Last Rites 7 (maybe 8) times, I know that all families of patients are presented worst case scenario by the surgeons. 

My best advice to you would be to not process worst case scenario unless you absolutely have to. 

I've lost three members of my nuclear family.  You just get through it, because you don't have a choice. 

Holding you and your family in love and light.  Don't give up hope just yet. 

(((Anna)))

Oh my god. I don't even know what it feels like to be in your shoes. I don't think anyone can prepare for the worst. Because you will never truly know what it's like until it happens. Instead of focusing on the worst, focus on the best. Positive thinking and energy can bring positive outcomes.

It's ok to be scared. It's ok to cry. It's ok to freak out. I would do all of these things at once and on top of that probably throw stuff in anger. No one this small should have to go through this.

Your niece is in my thoughts. What is her name? I will even light a candle for her (I'm a candle freak). I've got a pretty rose one or a lilac one that I bought yesterday.

EDIT: I see her name is Ezra. I am going to light the rose candle for her and it will burn all day until it goes out. I don't believe in a god, but I am very spiritual. And I believe the positive energy thoughts that I put into the candle as I light and the fumes that go into the air will go into the atmosphere and reach her and her family.

I'm emotional today. Yeesh! :)

Original Post by cptbunny:

Oh my god. I don't even know what it feels like to be in your shoes. I don't think anyone can prepare for the worst. Because you will never truly know what it's like until it happens. Instead of focusing on the worst, focus on the best. Positive thinking and energy can bring positive outcomes.

It's ok to be scared. It's ok to cry. It's ok to freak out. I would do all of these things at once and on top of that probably throw stuff in anger. No one this small should have to go through this.

Your niece is in my thoughts. What is her name? I will even light a candle for her (I'm a candle freak). I've got a pretty rose one or a lilac one that I bought yesterday.

EDIT: I see her name is Ezra. I am going to light the rose candle for her and it will burn all day until it goes out. I don't believe in a god, but I am very spiritual. And I believe the positive energy thoughts that I put into the candle as I light and the fumes that go into the air will go into the atmosphere and reach her and her family.

I'm emotional today. Yeesh! :)

Thank you, I love that.

Candle is lit!

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

Virtual candle for Ezra.

Bunny-inspired idea.

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

you are far from crazy.

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

you are far from crazy.

I know that, but the random people walking in and out of the building don't know that.

Original Post by aczinder:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

you are far from crazy.

I know that, but the random people walking in and out of the building don't know that.

I would hope they would just think something is wrong and you're going through some bad stuff rather than think you are crazy for being upset at your desk!

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

Um, I'm pretty sure you'd be crazy not to be crying at your desk. I'd be a royal mess too.

If someone asks you why you are upset, you can tell them your beautiful niece is having a potentially life threatening surgery and you are distraught. There is nothing wrong with being distraught. I cried like a baby when my DOG went into surgery. I can't imagine it being a baby, I would probably end up in a fetal position somewhere crying until I dehydrate myself. :/

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by aczinder:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

you are far from crazy.

I know that, but the random people walking in and out of the building don't know that.

I would hope they would just think something is wrong and you're going through some bad stuff rather than think you are crazy for being upset at your desk!

This!

I've seen people crying and I never thought they were crazy. If anything I felt sad with them without even knowing why.

People crying can so easily make me cry it's redonkulous.

Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by aczinder:

Well, looks like today I'll be the crazy girl crying at her desk again.

Um, I'm pretty sure you'd be crazy not to be crying at your desk. I'd be a royal mess too.

If someone asks you why you are upset, you can tell them your beautiful niece is having a potentially life threatening surgery and you are distraught. There is nothing wrong with being distraught. I cried like a baby when my DOG went into surgery. I can't imagine it being a baby, I would probably end up in a fetal position somewhere crying until I dehydrate myself. :/

My dog just got out of surgery yesterday. I pick her up from the vet after work. It's been a long couple of days...

60 Replies (last)
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