From the beginning until only recently has he changed from a man who used to be so passionate, caring and romantic; to a man who, rarely says i'm beautiful compared to what he used to, and also is obsessed with this one particular game. I know he still loves me, but sometimes i don;t think he means it.
There was one stage where we were having a really rough time in the relationship where we started to really go at eachother with personal things but since then, things have been back to normal but some how not the same. He says i've changed negatively, which frustrates and often upsets me because i don't know how i've changed, but i don't want to say anything to him about it just incase i start an argument. I have gone 'Back to normal' now according to him.
Something thats also really bothered me lately is the way he keeps mentionaing the fact that through his lack of relationships, he will never be able to appreciate me the way i appreciate him because of all the crappy relationships I've. This being complately different to what he used to say.
Maybe the honeymoon period is over between us and he's managed to find a way to calm things down between us, but i just can't help thinking that there is something wrong.
This is the long story cut short. But does anyone have any advice as to what might be going on in his mind? I love him so much :(
you gotta talk to him and I mean really communicate and even ask him straight out what the heck he means by he can't appreciate you fully.
Get him to stop beating around the bush so to speak.
And always remember there's tons of fish in the sea, he's not the only man on earth.
Something about him has changed and I a detirmined to find out what it is.
You are probably right about the honeymoon period being over, I mean after a year men aren't has emotional as they are in the begining. My bf and I have been together for 2 years, and although he doesn't tell me as many sweet things as he used to...but sometimes actions can speak louder than words.
And maybe after you guys talk you'll figure out that you two aren't meant to be together...not to say you should definitely break up...but sometimes it is for the best.
and just a side question....is this video game in question World of Warcraft? just wondering b/c I know A LOT of ppl who have become a little too addicted to that game lol
i am just getting out of a relationship with a guy that i was his first gf. he asked me to marry him and everything. 2 years. then after a while... he doesn't appreciate me. he doesn't know how good he has/had it. ah well. and its fine. he doesn't know what being cheated on feels like, doesn't appreciate faithfulness, etc. so if you dont feel appreciated, let him fly and be free. if he comes back.. well you know the saying. he'll respect you more if he gets a dose of the single life.
but heck ill tell you right now. i'm young and was with my ex fiance for over 2 years, and being single rocks. especially with a new smaller body ;) i raised my bar lol.
I don't know what to do either, and I can't just walk up to him and hug him or something... We're long distance.
Hopefully he'll come around... *Shrugs* sorry, I can't give any advice... I'm stuck in the same hole. o_o
Sometimes certain things are realized about the other person that just changes the enthusiasm that the person has for you. They might feel so invested in you since you've been together for so long, that they would rather stay with you despite their (sorry to say it, but-) disappointment in you. This might not be the case- but it also might be. But if it IS the case... it is NOT a good situation. "Settling" as the word has it, only brews bitterness and discontentment. It leaves the unsettling feeling that there is something better out there and causes one to resent his or her partner, despite the fact that it remains a choice to be with that person!
It is a very complex thing to deal with... but this could be delving much deeper into the situation than need be. It could be possible that he is just going through certain things within himself that are causing him to be less able to share his affection with you so freely. Maybe he is afraid after you went through that rough patch- fear can cause a relationship to COMPLETELY change and, ultimately, to crumble into non-existence.
The point? Talk to him about it. Ask him if he still feels the same way about you as when you first dated. Ask him to explain how he loves you and what kinds of things he sees in his future. If he gets jittery and gives a lot of "I don't know" responses when talking about his future, he might be unsure about something in your relationship.
The best thing for you to do is simply talk to him and get all of the answers that you are looking for- good or bad. Hopefully he will be honest with you and you will be able to know if this is just a little bump in the road or if it is actually a big problem.
I'll say a prayer for you.
I'm going on 5 years soon and we still swoon over each other. I said today that on another forum (that is all guys) it's nice to be adored, he said "I adore & worship you!"...... awwwwwww
Anyway, I'd have a sit down talk with him. Do that word play thing where you say how you feel with "I" statements & don't use "you" and don't attack, ie: 'I feel like we don't treat each other the same, I feel hurt when ______, I would like _____', you know how it goes. Just stay calm & make sure he knows you don't want to fight, just figure out the situation. If he's into music, find songs/lyrics that kindof express what you're thinking that way.
You are 17 and that's a crazy time..... I know you are in love but sometimes people aren't ment to be together. If he takes issue with the fact he hasn't dated other girls, eventually it will become a HUGE issue and you'll end up in an on again off again thing like schmee mentioned, which is NOT fun.
You deserve a great guy who will support you and be interested in you, whatever you are doing! This should be the best time in your life, don't let him bring you down!
And sometimes -- usually, even -- that means growing apart from a boy/girlfriend. The two of you don't grow at the same rate, at the same time, in the same ways.
It's better to acknowledge the reality of the situation. Rather than letting it ebb on even though it's making you unhappy. At seventeen you deserve to be dating someone, that you think adores you completely. And he derseves to be able to play his computer games in peace. Without feeling like he's ignoring you...
Also it could turn into a longterm issue to shove in your face. " I never sowed my wild oats. YOU were the ONLY girl I ever been with. " He shouldn't ever act like that. It's a choice. Make it clear to him that he can choose to go else where...
There are no chains on my hubby, he's with me because wants me. Needs me. Loves me.
He told me that since its really effected him and it may take him a while to get over it, but he's glad i'm back to normal. It's really put my mind at ease.
Thanks to everyone who prepped me for this!
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