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Romance...how do guys feel about it?


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When I say romance...I mean:  romantic gestures, romantic plans, candles, trips, cards, special meals, etc.

Or are there different things that are romantic to guys?

What has your experience been?  Have you ever planned something really romantic for a guy?  Did he appreciate it?

I love getting cards, flowers, candy, little gifts, unexpected phone calls, etc.  I don't feel like I know what the appropriate versions are of these things for guys.

Or is it mostly the bow-chica-wow-wow (yeah, I totally did).

It seems like for women, there is romance.  And for guys, there is smex.  But this seems unfair, because I benefit from both.

Tell me!!

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Romance is like a four letter word to me.

I married a man who is all into the sappy, long, poetry cards that are all mushy, blah blah blah.

I really have to try to be romantic.  It's just not me.  It almost makes me feel silly to do anything considered romantic.  I'm the girl that buys the humor cards.

 

I also don't feel like I know what the appropriate things are to do for a guy.  I'm also so afraid of the gesture getting laughed at, or shot down, that I'm scared to do anything like that, but I still try to do my best and make an effort at the little things. 

I suck at romance too! Not literally, but I'm just not good at it. I'm clumsy and clutzy. Me trying to be romantic or seductive is like, I don't know, not romantic or seductive!
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Original Post by stargazer1:

 

 

I also don't feel like I know what the appropriate things are to do for a guy.  I'm also so afraid of the gesture getting laughed at, or shot down, that I'm scared to do anything like that, but I still try to do my best and make an effort at the little things. 

That's how I feel.

All of the things he does for me that make me say, "Awww!" would feel silly or stupid if I did them for him.  I can't think of a bouqet or basket of anything that would just brighten his day.

I cook for him fairly often, but the vibe isn't exactly romantic...it's like, "Hey, I made you lasagna."  "Mmm, looks good, thanks."  Proceed to watch Family Guy together.

Original Post by kelrantymus:

My husband and I have what we cool goofy romance. We both like little gestures and cards but they always have a goofy angle.

So, for Valentine's day, he got me a card that on the envelope said "I'm so sorry...but I LOLed." The card was two squirrels and when I opened the card it said "Baby, my nuts are yours." It was so awful but we both laughed about it.

I like a nice dinner every now and again. But we always have fresh flowers in the house because I like them so it's not romantic, it's just always on the grocery list. The most romantic thing he's probably done was to have a catered, candlelit dinner and 2 dozen roses plus my favourite cupcakes from the cupcake bakery waiting at home after the two-day bar exam and my 2-hour drive home. I so wasn't expecting it at all. For the most part, we're not really super mushy or anything.

Hahahahahahahaaha. I love it.  That's awesome.

I actually like a good raunchy card.  The sentimental ones are usually just too much or feel canned.

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

Original Post by stargazer1:

 

 

I also don't feel like I know what the appropriate things are to do for a guy.  I'm also so afraid of the gesture getting laughed at, or shot down, that I'm scared to do anything like that, but I still try to do my best and make an effort at the little things. 

That's how I feel.

All of the things he does for me that make me say, "Awww!" would feel silly or stupid if I did them for him.  I can't think of a bouqet or basket of anything that would just brighten his day.

I cook for him fairly often, but the vibe isn't exactly romantic...it's like, "Hey, I made you lasagna."  "Mmm, looks good, thanks."  Proceed to watch Family Guy together.

I try to do small things.  Like after we got married I got him a key chain from shutterfly that had his favorite wedding picture of us. He seemed to like it, but I always wonder if he felt like I "forced" it on him.  Ya know?  LIke to say...  hey b****  these keys belong to a married man.

I don't even try to count cooking as a romantic gesture anymore.

If I'm out, and I see like a T-shirt or something small I'd think he would like, I'll pick it up.  I used to buy him candy spontaneously, but now he just expects me to bring him home candy :/

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

I actually like a good raunchy card.  The sentimental ones are usually just too much or feel canned.

I hate the sentimental cards... it's like there's a hidden message in all that text.

Original Post by kelrantymus:

Original Post by stargazer1:

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

I actually like a good raunchy card.  The sentimental ones are usually just too much or feel canned.

I hate the sentimental cards... it's like there's a hidden message in all that text.

I feel nervous like it's too serious and there will be a test later.

URGHHHHHHHH...

I KNOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!

Who the hell writes those things?  I swear, on our 1st anniversary I got one from the husband that was like 3 pages long.

Original Post by stargazer1:

Original Post by lostpumpkins:

I actually like a good raunchy card.  The sentimental ones are usually just too much or feel canned.

I hate the sentimental cards... it's like there's a hidden message in all that text.

You know what i really hate? Those hallmark card's that have like, 5 paragaphs of writing on them and are super sappy and weirdly specific. if someone got me one of those...i think it would be over. :p

I do not like sappy romance. I don't like cheesy/sappy cards. I'd rather get or give a funny card and write a nice message in it. I do love flowers. My fiance randomly gets me flowers quite a bit. i'd much rather get random flowers than on a special occasion because i like the thought of him wandering in the grocery store and thinking to get them for me, just because.

for P, i think romance is when i grab him a bag of his favorite candy when i stop at CVS. or get him a slim jim when i'm at the gas station. little things like that.   

 

Original Post by kelrantymus:

He got me one for our anniversary that was like "Falling in love with is the best thing that ever happened to me....beer is probably number 2....I guess long weekends are up there, too.....maybe beer is number 1.....no, definitely you....yeah....but you with beer on a long weekend is pretty good."

We can't just be sentimental to each other. It just doesn't work. Our dance at our wedding was "Somewhere Beyond the Sea". Now, that seems nice, but we choreographed it to Dr. Evil's dance in the last Austin Powers film where he's in the submarine lair dancing to that song. So we goofy danced around the reception hall. My mother was appalled.

That's fantastic!  We danced to "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler (from Wedding Singer).  And that was the most romantic thing we've ever done.

(And we really just chose the song because it was only a minute and 30 seconds long).   :) 

My good friend is getting married in April, and they are dancing to Jesse and the Rippers!! I totally love it, and it suits them because they are the funniest people i know.

I always wonder when I get a really sappy, "romantic"card, "Reeeaaallly? This is what you would have said if it hadn't been all typed up in rhyme for you?" And they're a little dramatic.

He has been kind of stressed out lately so I got him a funny/sweet card and stuck it in his mailbox. I just wish there was more I could do without being over the top.

Not gonna lie....love flowers. Always have. I feel like I shouldn't...so cliche and showy. But it just makes me feel all loved and special
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
I actually like a good raunchy card. 

Heh...I got a card from an old flame once that said on the cover...

"DON'T SHOOT!"

And upon opening the card, I read

"Until you see the whites of my thighs"

Cool

My bf of several years is definitely more romantic than me.  His favorite thing for me to do is tell him why I love him.  Really simple! Really hard.  I'm great at talking but not at speaking.  So I made him a scrapbook littered with stories of old memories and reasons why I love him.  I think he really liked it because he loves to tease me about how cute it is.  It really depends on the guy.  My dad hates candles and loves going out to eat at the cheapest restaurant he can find.  His idea of the perfect date would be a long drive followed by a movie from blockbuster.  My boyfriend's first choice for a night out is one of the nicest restaurants in town followed by the symphony (and of course sexiness when we get home).  It really depends on the guy. 

Another thing to keep in mind is love languages.  Some people like gifts while others just want a hug- or help cleaning the kitchen.  I personally just want to go for a walk with whomever.  Everyone is different.

I totally forgot about the love languages! Hmmm. I actually don't think I know what his would be. I know he likes to give and do extravagant things...but I don't know what he prefers to receive...

Dave...best dirty card ever!!!

i love totally sappy cards from my husband. i know he picks them out and actually reads them. He will pick up several cards until he can find the 'perfect' one.

<3

gahhh I friggin' miss my hubbbb.

Original Post by stargazer1:

Romance is like a four letter word to me.

I married a man who is all into the sappy, long, poetry cards that are all mushy, blah blah blah.

I really have to try to be romantic.  It's just not me.  It almost makes me feel silly to do anything considered romantic.  I'm the girl that buys the humor cards.

 

I also don't feel like I know what the appropriate things are to do for a guy.  I'm also so afraid of the gesture getting laughed at, or shot down, that I'm scared to do anything like that, but I still try to do my best and make an effort at the little things. 

OMG THIS IS ME TOO!!

My boyfriend is all about the mush, the diamonds, the flowers, the holding hands, the candles, the dinner dates...etc

I find holding hands awkward, and I don't like when he gets me things because than I feel obligated to get him something too-- but I never know what! What do you get for a guy? Video games? Clothes? Car parts? Sex?

Guys don't have all the little trinkets and easy to buy stuff like girls have. Guys like expensive things like cars, and high tech computer stuff. I've never seen a straight man swoon for flowers and a pink box of chocolates. Even when it comes to clothes, girls have a HUGE selection of clothing, guys have a very limited one. Or how about sex stuff, you can get a girl fun things like feathers, vibrators, scented oils... if you get a guy sex toys, that's just effing creepy. "Here honey, I got you a Fleshlight. I know how much you like flashlights, so now you can **** one!" or "I got you some anal beads, because I know how much you like things in your bum"... uhhh whaaaaat!!

How do you be romantic for a guy? It seems very one-way, especially when it comes to romantic gifts and gestures. 

Original Post by meta15:

That's fantastic!  We danced to "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler (from Wedding Singer).  And that was the most romantic thing we've ever done.

 

us too! I love that song...silly, goofy and still romantic in a really quirky way....only I keep expecting Billy Idol to introduce it! ha ha

I thought I was gonna nail this... Then I realized, all my friends are girls and I know hardly anything about the "Normies" of my gender. I hath been defeated! Sorry I was hoping to give you inside advice! But I'm a girly man... Won't do much good for me to try.

Romance should be an every day thing - not just on special occasions.  Hubby and I romance each other daily - touches,  looks. He always gives me a tight hug when he wakes up.   He kisses me goodbye when he leaves the break room to go out to his bus - I leave after him.  The other drivers think that's so sweet.   I always bring him his coffee.  He cooks breakfast every Sunday morning, sets the table, serves me and cleans up the kitchen.  I give him back rubs.  We have candles lit every evening.  We send ecards for no reason.  We write love notes.   Once we danced out in the parking lot to our song :)    He buys me flowers for no special reason.  I gave him tulips this year.

Romance shouldn't be left to only Valentine's Day.  We just stated to each other that we make every day Valentines.

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