So...just out of curiosity, how many people have you been intimate with in your life?
Original Post by vancouvergrind:I am thinking about sending this formula to Maxim for publication. Do you guys think they would publish this?
Do you think it is accurate?
All you've really got is a roundabout way of saying, women sleep with about 2 men a year when they aren't in a serious relationship. Not exactly groundbreaking.
Original Post by vancouvergrind:
Do you think it is accurate?
Well, it may be for a certain percentage of the population, I doubt it would be for me even if I weren't in my one LTR.
on edit: Aside from that, I have to question your assertion that a low number equates to a designation of "good girl."
Original Post by vancouvergrind:
I have created a formula that will tell you how many men a woman has slept with. It is not perfect and you have to use some judgement.
..
I can't believe that actually got my number right! (however, I shant share it here. Sorry. Too public for me) However, I'm going to chalk it up to coincidence.
Original Post by vancouvergrind:
Many women tend to underestimate the amount. They don't think a 1-night stand or the fact that she didn't know his last name means it doesn't count.
Do you think it is accurate?
No, I think you're an amateur and an insulting one at that.
So tell me stud, what makes you think Maxim will not think you a small dick in the moby dick pool?
Whoa! It sounds like you've had a few one-night stands yourself and have some issues with that. Actually, I'm not the first to suggest that women don't give their "actual" number. I can't take credit for it.
http://www.mens-dating-magazine.com/do-women- lie-about-past.html
"Women are sensitive to social expectations for their sexual behaviour and may be less than totally honest when asked about their behaviour in some survey conditions," said Fisher. "Women appear to feel pressure to adhere to sex role expectations that indicate women should be more relationship-oriented and should avoid being seen as promiscuous."
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2003/0 7/07/896698.htm
Hate the theory, not me.
Original Post by bagga:
Original Post by vancouvergrind:
Many women tend to underestimate the amount. They don't think a 1-night stand or the fact that she didn't know his last name means it doesn't count.
Do you think it is accurate?
No, I think you're an amateur and an insulting one at that.
So tell me stud, what makes you think Maxim will not think you a small dick in the moby dick pool?
Original Post by moonikins:
It isn't one body type that is best. It really is about the attitude towards sex and his or her willingness to share/satisfy. A lover who is arrogant or only into themselves does not make a good partner. The lover who realizes the more pleasure you give a partner the more pleasure you receive is what you want. You also want someone who is openminded and willing to experiment. A lover who does the same things over and over gets boring.
I'm tall so have mostly been with tall men. Short men tend to fall into two categories. They are either secure and don't care that they're short or they are out to prove that they're manly despite being short. Stay away from any partner who has something to prove. No matter what it is.
Penile size does matter somewhat. Very small can be unsatisfying even when the lover is exceptionally good in other areas.
A lot can be said for an older lover when you're young. They make great teachers. They also tend to help you overcome hangups about sex and/or your body. I also had some much younger men in my early 40's. Wow, it was wonderful to experience all that sexual energy and have a lover that wanted and could perform repeated offerings in one night.
I have discovered through my wanderings that many men like to boast about how they're always ready and willing for sex. Not many have had the same high sex drive they seem to boast about. I discovered that quite a few men are intimidated by a woman who has a strong sex drive or by one who initiates sex. The double standard is very much in play.
Any other questions?
What she said. All of it. (Though I haven't hit my 40s yet: but you make me look forward to it, mooni!)
Um...lets just say triple digits. I am 37.
I became sexually active at 17, but was not in a committed relationship until I was 30....that's 13 years of flings. It just seemed to...add up. I used to be very ashamed of how many there were, but now I own it. And it's kinda funny...my bf has been with very few partners, but they were all long term, so when we did the math we figured out he has had sex way more times than me in his life. So who's the more experienced one?
Funny story...a couple of years ago a was seeing this guy who was a compulsive liar (that's what brought a swift end to our acquaintance). One evening at dinner he told me, randomly, that he's been with 300 women (yeah right buddy in yer dreams, he was not exactly a chick magnet). I then told him "oh really? What a relief - I was scared to admit my number, but yours is twice as many so I don't have to feel bad at all!" HAHA I could totally see he wanted to either call me a liar or a slut but couldn't because he's cornered himself. It was hilarious - and the first time I told a real person my number, so very liberating, even if it was just to him!
Original Post by victoriagirl:
Um...lets just say triple digits. I am 37.
I became sexually active at 17, but was not in a committed relationship until I was 30....that's 13 years of flings. It just seemed to...add up. I used to be very ashamed of how many there were, but now I own it. And it's kinda funny...my bf has been with very few partners, but they were all long term, so when we did the math we figured out he has had sex way more times than me in his life. So who's the more experienced one?
Funny story...a couple of years ago a was seeing this guy who was a compulsive liar (that's what brought a swift end to our acquaintance). One evening at dinner he told me, randomly, that he's been with 300 women (yeah right buddy in yer dreams, he was not exactly a chick magnet). I then told him "oh really? What a relief - I was scared to admit my number, but yours is twice as many so I don't have to feel bad at all!" HAHA I could totally see he wanted to either call me a liar or a slut but couldn't because he's cornered himself. It was hilarious - and the first time I told a real person my number, so very liberating, even if it was just to him!
haha, that's a great story - you certainly did get him cornered. I must say that a lot of guys would just shamelessly apply the double standard anyway, though, so it actually speaks well of him that he didn't.
haha, how about instead of women trying to reach the male standard of having sex with as many people as possible...men should move a little closer to the womens standard?
how about we all just have more sex in general????
(good sex though, good sex)
To the person who said that they would work on sexual compatability: You Can't. Period.
You can work on many things, keeping the spark alive, keeping it interesting, multiple orgasms, tantra, but YOU CANNOT CREATE CHEMISTRY. Guys that I have adored and really really would just love to fall in love with-- nope. Even if the kissing was great, the sex wasn't-- and not for lack of trying. Just because you can get off doesnt mean its good.
Reminds me of a friend of mine, married at 19 or 20, 4 kids, just got divorced from the man she was in love with for so long-- and finally FINALLY finds out what sex is really all about. Love doesnt make sex. Sex is completely different from love. You can fall in love without good sex and you can have good sex without love, but I really truly believe you cannot have a good life long connection (a marriage if you will) without good sex. If you do-- well, I am so sorry you are absolutely missing out.
(and hey what is up with no one saying a word about my phallacy... jeez, it was funny).
Original Post by drea99:
how about we all just have more sex in general????
(good sex though, good sex)
To the person who said that they would work on sexual compatability: You Can't. Period.
You can work on many things, keeping the spark alive, keeping it interesting, multiple orgasms, tantra, but YOU CANNOT CREATE CHEMISTRY. Guys that I have adored and really really would just love to fall in love with-- nope. Even if the kissing was great, the sex wasn't-- and not for lack of trying. Just because you can get off doesnt mean its good.
Reminds me of a friend of mine, married at 19 or 20, 4 kids, just got divorced from the man she was in love with for so long-- and finally FINALLY finds out what sex is really all about. Love doesnt make sex. Sex is completely different from love. You can fall in love without good sex and you can have good sex without love, but I really truly believe you cannot have a good life long connection (a marriage if you will) without good sex. If you do-- well, I am so sorry you are absolutely missing out.
(and hey what is up with no one saying a word about my phallacy... jeez, it was funny).
Yes, it was a funny joke, drea - sorry I didn't comment before. :)
And I agree with you about sexual chemistry. I had an ex-lover who was actually pretty much my soul mate in every way, except that there was no chemistry. The sex itself wasn't bad, per se (he was very dedicated to pleasing), but I didn't like his smell or the way he touched me and I didn't want to be physically close to him. Some things you can work on, and some things you can't. Though I guess if you like his smell, at least, the rest of the physicality might be able to be built up...
And lorik, I don't think that there is necessarily a "male" or "female" norm here. People of both sexes have different intensities of sex drive and different levels of craving for variety. Sure, maybe on average, men like more variety (and that is a maybe, because sex studies are skewed by the women answering what they think they should answer, meaning taming their stories and impulses), but a woman who has a strong sex drive and wants many partners is not unnatural, any more than a man with a low sex drive who wants to be faithful. The spectrum of human difference crosses both genders. EDIT: if what you're saying, though, is that we should abolish gender-based standards of behaviour altogether, I'm all for it.
Im also saying lots and lots of partners probably isnt the best idea....for the sole reason of diseases. If everyone is having so many partners, diseases are MUCH more likely to spread out of hand. There is nothing wrong with sex, but there is a lot more to think about than just how society judges you.
How society judges me is never part of the equation.
i wanted to say fwck society... but some of us are getting close and it doesnt seem to be doing a darn bit of difference.
Original Post by thesecretsikeep:
Original Post by moonikins:
It isn't one body type that is best. It really is about the attitude towards sex and his or her willingness to share/satisfy. A lover who is arrogant or only into themselves does not make a good partner. The lover who realizes the more pleasure you give a partner the more pleasure you receive is what you want. You also want someone who is openminded and willing to experiment. A lover who does the same things over and over gets boring.
I'm tall so have mostly been with tall men. Short men tend to fall into two categories. They are either secure and don't care that they're short or they are out to prove that they're manly despite being short. Stay away from any partner who has something to prove. No matter what it is.
Penile size does matter somewhat. Very small can be unsatisfying even when the lover is exceptionally good in other areas.
A lot can be said for an older lover when you're young. They make great teachers. They also tend to help you overcome hangups about sex and/or your body. I also had some much younger men in my early 40's. Wow, it was wonderful to experience all that sexual energy and have a lover that wanted and could perform repeated offerings in one night.
I have discovered through my wanderings that many men like to boast about how they're always ready and willing for sex. Not many have had the same high sex drive they seem to boast about. I discovered that quite a few men are intimidated by a woman who has a strong sex drive or by one who initiates sex. The double standard is very much in play.
Any other questions?
What she said. All of it. (Though I haven't hit my 40s yet: but you make me look forward to it, mooni!)
Yayyyyy Mooni! Yayyyyy Mooni. Mooni has fun. Mooni has fun. Mooni has been drinking again!
Original Post by loriklorik:
Im also saying lots and lots of partners probably isnt the best idea....for the sole reason of diseases. If everyone is having so many partners, diseases are MUCH more likely to spread out of hand. There is nothing wrong with sex, but there is a lot more to think about than just how society judges you.
Lorik, there is a whole lot of STD paranoia out there. Not that there aren't STDs, but consistent and correct condom use reduce the risk of most of them to nearly zero, and the remainder (pretty much herpes and HPV) are reduced significantly. If everyone were using condoms properly, we wouldn't be having these kinds of incidences - the risk is not sex with multiple partners per se, it's unprotected sex with any partner, even one. In Western European countries where they are better at safe sex, the incidence of STDs is much lower. One of the things that promotes good condom use is the elimination of the sexual double standard and elimination of the taboo around sex. (Women won't carry and use condoms if they feel they will be judged as "sluts" for it, or insist on them if they are supposed to be "swept away" by passion). Carol Cassell wrote a great book on this.
Original Post by victoriagirl:
Um...lets just say triple digits. I am 37.
I became sexually active at 17, but was not in a committed relationship until I was 30....that's 13 years of flings. It just seemed to...add up. I used to be very ashamed of how many there were, but now I own it. And it's kinda funny...my bf has been with very few partners, but they were all long term, so when we did the math we figured out he has had sex way more times than me in his life. So who's the more experienced one?
Funny story...a couple of years ago a was seeing this guy who was a compulsive liar (that's what brought a swift end to our acquaintance). One evening at dinner he told me, randomly, that he's been with 300 women (yeah right buddy in yer dreams, he was not exactly a chick magnet). I then told him "oh really? What a relief - I was scared to admit my number, but yours is twice as many so I don't have to feel bad at all!" HAHA I could totally see he wanted to either call me a liar or a slut but couldn't because he's cornered himself. It was hilarious - and the first time I told a real person my number, so very liberating, even if it was just to him!
Go Victoria! Go Victoria! No need to be ashamed. Go. Go. Go.
Original Post by drea99:
how about we all just have more sex in general????
(good sex though, good sex)
To the person who said that they would work on sexual compatability: You Can't. Period.
You can work on many things, keeping the spark alive, keeping it interesting, multiple orgasms, tantra, but YOU CANNOT CREATE CHEMISTRY. Guys that I have adored and really really would just love to fall in love with-- nope. Even if the kissing was great, the sex wasn't-- and not for lack of trying. Just because you can get off doesnt mean its good.
Reminds me of a friend of mine, married at 19 or 20, 4 kids, just got divorced from the man she was in love with for so long-- and finally FINALLY finds out what sex is really all about. Love doesnt make sex. Sex is completely different from love. You can fall in love without good sex and you can have good sex without love, but I really truly believe you cannot have a good life long connection (a marriage if you will) without good sex. If you do-- well, I am so sorry you are absolutely missing out.
(and hey what is up with no one saying a word about my phallacy... jeez, it was funny).
Drea, you are my hero!
Original Post by drea99:
i wanted to say fwck society... but some of us are getting close and it doesnt seem to be doing a darn bit of difference.
I was trying very hard to Fwck society. I really was. I put up good numbers. If I hadn't been married for 15 years I might have actually succeeded in fwcking society.
