Holy crap, this book is f-ing terrible. It's the first book in a while that I have not only heard about online, but by word of mouth. I figure, hey, must be pretty darn good, right?
WRONG.
I consider myself a writer. And one of the things about being a writer is that when I read things, I can see what the author was trying to do or what their intentions are with certain words and phrases. This isn't always a bad thing...I am able to appreciate good writing, wording and set up.
But I cannot tolerate really obvious, heavy, dramatic writing. I expect more from a published author, sue me. You have to be able to write a sentence that successfully conveys a complete message or thought with less than 25 words. You cannot use the same words over and over again. You cannot be predictable.
This book is touted as erotica but it's nothing more than an impossible, cheesy romance novel. I can already predict the ending. The main character is an annoyingly naive virgin who has stupid conversations with her own abusive self conscious. She falls for the brooding, classical piano playing millionaire who has a thing for whips and chains.
The author uses the words dark, intense, amused, hard, steely, rigid and mysterious to describe the sexy pervert REPEATEDLY. We get it!! He is an unattainable monster! She's a cotton panty wearing choir girl!!
This is in official rant and book review brought to you by Pumpkins. Apparently, women all over the country are foaming at the mouth and snapping this piece of trash up off the shelves faster than the glazed donuts when the little red sign is flipped on at Krispy Keene. Ladies..you can do better!! This is not erotica, this is not even good writing!
Feel free to share your own experiences with book disappointment. Any books that everyone else loved that you could barely stomach? Or have you read the atrocious waste of ink and paper that is 50 Shades of Grey?
Original Post by rosieii:
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
You're probably on to something, KG. And maybe to some people, this is pretty edgy and dark and "bad". That makes me...sad, really.Why? Who cares what other people read? The important thing is that they're reading.
I have parents who come in and complain because their kid is reading comic books instead of "literature". I always tell them they're lucky--a lot of kids (and adults) won't even pick up a book.
Not literally sad as in I'm going to go cry on a sofa somewhere.
Ah, the notion that it's 'bad' or 'naughty', perhaps?
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
I was wondering about this. Had 5 people (including my mother in law) recommend it to me.
I assumed it wouldn't live up to the hype.
That's interesting to me. I wonder if the hoopla is simply the mainstream dipping their collective toe into the 'dangerous' waters at the dark end of the pool?
I was beginning to wonder if all my friends and MIL had stock in Amazon, the way they were pushing Kindles along with these books.
"Now we can read controversial books without fear of judgment" was the hard sell.
I've never once feared judgment reading any book in public. If never occurred to me that someone had nothing better to do that to assess what I was reading.
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
Original Post by rosieii:
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
You're probably on to something, KG. And maybe to some people, this is pretty edgy and dark and "bad". That makes me...sad, really.Why? Who cares what other people read? The important thing is that they're reading.
I have parents who come in and complain because their kid is reading comic books instead of "literature". I always tell them they're lucky--a lot of kids (and adults) won't even pick up a book.
Not literally sad as in I'm going to go cry on a sofa somewhere.
Maybe you could write a pocket poem about crying on a sofa after having bad literary sex and having your eyeballs fall out from over-rolling.
Original Post by rosieii:
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
Original Post by rosieii:
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
You're probably on to something, KG. And maybe to some people, this is pretty edgy and dark and "bad". That makes me...sad, really.Why? Who cares what other people read? The important thing is that they're reading.
I have parents who come in and complain because their kid is reading comic books instead of "literature". I always tell them they're lucky--a lot of kids (and adults) won't even pick up a book.
Not literally sad as in I'm going to go cry on a sofa somewhere.Maybe you could write a pocket poem about crying on a sofa after having bad literary sex and having your eyeballs fall out from over-rolling.
You made me chortle.
Yes.
I mean, I know everyone has different limits and experiences and frames of reference...but I just don't see how this is really that edgy or taboo or ooh you bad girl naughty. It's like, blah. I can't imagine being a woman who would find something like this so racy.
Thank your for this thread pumpkins... I was going to start it the other day, but was just too angry/fired up having paid for this piece of trash.
the sick part? I'm DETERMINED to finish it. I can't not finish a book at this point. Ugh.
What bothered me the most was this constant feeling that he was taking advantage of her. And also the KINDS of girls that are probably reading this trash. They probably idealize this beautiful guy who bosses them around. I got all femnazi after 50 pages.
Truth is... I probably secretly like the idea of being dominated. HA!
But thanks for this thread, seriously. DON'T READ THIS BOOK!
I just want to finish it so I can start another book. 
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
Yes.I mean, I know everyone has different limits and experiences and frames of reference...but I just don't see how this is really that edgy or taboo or ooh you bad girl naughty. It's like, blah. I can't imagine being a woman who would find something like this so racy.
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
also.. everyone in the book "murmurs" or "mutters" no one "says" anything. *eye roll*
I wonder if there's anyone here who has read it and liked it? Don't be shy...come, here, there's some cheese for you, sit and talk with us.
(Seriously, if anyone has read it and liked it, tell us why. We won't be mean. It's not a real discussion if we're all in agreement, right?)
I'm considering writing a parody.
Oh my goodness...has that been done? A spoof of a naughty novel? Oh my...the wheels are rollin' right now....
Original Post by meta15:
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
I was wondering about this. Had 5 people (including my mother in law) recommend it to me.
I assumed it wouldn't live up to the hype.
That's interesting to me. I wonder if the hoopla is simply the mainstream dipping their collective toe into the 'dangerous' waters at the dark end of the pool?
I was beginning to wonder if all my friends and MIL had stock in Amazon, the way they were pushing Kindles along with these books.
"Now we can read controversial books without fear of judgment" was the hard sell.
I've never once feared judgment reading any book in public. If never occurred to me that someone had nothing better to do that to assess what I was reading.
...and if anything can be said to be sad, it's that. We're so afraid of our labeling system, in this country, aren't we? God forbid, anyone figures out we like erotica. :/
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
Just a browse through the various lounge threads that deal with this topic is enough to convince me there are millions of women out there for which this is true.
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
I was wondering about this. Had 5 people (including my mother in law) recommend it to me.
I assumed it wouldn't live up to the hype.
That's interesting to me. I wonder if the hoopla is simply the mainstream dipping their collective toe into the 'dangerous' waters at the dark end of the pool?
I was beginning to wonder if all my friends and MIL had stock in Amazon, the way they were pushing Kindles along with these books.
"Now we can read controversial books without fear of judgment" was the hard sell.
I've never once feared judgment reading any book in public. If never occurred to me that someone had nothing better to do that to assess what I was reading.
...and if anything can be said to be sad, it's that. We're so afraid of our labeling system, in this country, aren't we? God forbid, anyone figures out we like erotica. :/
well, it's kinda sad that a person would think that the clerk ringing up the sale would be the person judging them and that that would be the unbearable part, when in truth, every ebook sold electronically (or every new book purchased with a credit card in person) will be stored in a dossier about you and if you buy a 'dangerous' book the government might begin to surveil you.
The most anonymous way to buy a book is to pay cash at a used book store where they just ring up the amount you owe and don't key in a barcode that registers the title of the book.
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
Just a browse through the various lounge threads that deal with this topic is enough to convince me there are millions of women out there for which this is true.
It upsets me. A LOT. A LOT A LOT.
I understand there are a lot of people who have pretty serious reasons to not want to. But I fear that a lot of it just goes back to this idea that women are not sexual beings themselves. Men do that kind of thing, NOT women. Merg.
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
Just a browse through the various lounge threads that deal with this topic is enough to convince me there are millions of women out there for which this is true.
I was older than that when I found out how. 
But I'm really good at it now!!! 
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
Just a browse through the various lounge threads that deal with this topic is enough to convince me there are millions of women out there for which this is true.
I was older than that when I found out how.
But I'm really good at it now!!!
Ugh. I'm sorry. I'm really NOT trying to be judgmental in that regard -- everyone gets to things at their own pace. It was just the way the book portrayed it. I can't imagine a girl who never once touched herself would suddenly be like "OK! BDSM sounds like a plan!!"
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by meta15:
I was wondering about this. Had 5 people (including my mother in law) recommend it to me.
I assumed it wouldn't live up to the hype.
That's interesting to me. I wonder if the hoopla is simply the mainstream dipping their collective toe into the 'dangerous' waters at the dark end of the pool?
I was beginning to wonder if all my friends and MIL had stock in Amazon, the way they were pushing Kindles along with these books.
"Now we can read controversial books without fear of judgment" was the hard sell.
I've never once feared judgment reading any book in public. If never occurred to me that someone had nothing better to do that to assess what I was reading.
...and if anything can be said to be sad, it's that. We're so afraid of our labeling system, in this country, aren't we? God forbid, anyone figures out we like erotica. :/
LOL, so true. Was at my son's golf tournament last week and I always have my kindle with me for down times before and after the games. Another mom and I had been discussing books (her son was in the same group as mine) and kindles all the way through as we watched the boys: everything from The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, to classics like Alice in Wonderland, Tarzan, and The Old Man and the Sea (she'd never read it, I highly advised against it), etc. So when all was done and we were just waiting on everything to wrap up, I was sitting on a bench... reading. She comes up all happy, "Oh! What are you reading now?" I just looked at her, smiled, and said, "Smut."
How do you answer that? She just looked very disappointed and wandered off. Didn't want to know what the book was or anything :( I love my paranormal romances (some of which definitely wander into the erotica realm). Of course, I love cereal boxes and shampoo bottles too so that's probably not saying much. I read anything. But I'm never ashamed of what I'm reading, that's for sure.
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:
Original Post by kathygator:
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
Just a browse through the various lounge threads that deal with this topic is enough to convince me there are millions of women out there for which this is true.
I was older than that when I found out how.
But I'm really good at it now!!!
Ugh. I'm sorry. I'm really NOT trying to be judgmental in that regard -- everyone gets to things at their own pace. It was just the way the book portrayed it. I can't imagine a girl who never once touched herself would suddenly be like "OK! BDSM sounds like a plan!!"
No, no, I got what you were saying. I think it does sound like a leap to go from virginal to a submissive. You need, oh, two or three books, to get from A to B(&D)
Original Post by thesuperbex:
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
Yes.I mean, I know everyone has different limits and experiences and frames of reference...but I just don't see how this is really that edgy or taboo or ooh you bad girl naughty. It's like, blah. I can't imagine being a woman who would find something like this so racy.
Virgins/the sexually inexperienced, like the girl in the book. Do you know how mad I was when she made some comment about not knowing how to pleasure herself? AT 22??!
also.. everyone in the book "murmurs" or "mutters" no one "says" anything. *eye roll*
I KNOW RIGHT?!
One of my other pet peeves is when an author exerts too much energy trying to come up with alternative words for things. You know what, Author? It's okay for your characters to just say things sometimes. And you know what else, Author? It's okay for your characters to just walk from Point A to Point B, there's no need for all this strutting and strolling and striding and marching and stomping and two stepping.
Every look does not have to smolder. Every movement a person makes does not have to be significant or mean something. Whether Grey chooses strawberry or vanilla frozen yogurt shouldn't really have anything to do with character development.
She paused, passionately, by the gleaming baby grand piano. She glanced forlornly at the keys, wishing so desperately that she could be one, even if just for a moment, to know just what it felt like to be tickled so fervently by such a brooding Adonis. A bluebird flew by the large, looming picture window and she knew then that he would never love her. She also knew this based on the fact that he had his right hand in his pants pocket.
"Darling, whatever is it?" He breathed, goosestepping to be nearer to her magical warmth. "Your hair is in a bun. Can it...be? Are you...really leaving me?"
"I must," She groaned. She swiveled to meet his intense, smoldering gaze. "You haven't...taken out the garbage in four days. Don't you think I know? Who is she?!"
"Anna, no! You are the only woman I'll ever love!" He roared, grabbing a vase from the piano and, after pausing to breath heavily in her face and smolder her with his smoldering eyes some more, flinging it wildly, passionately, violently across the room.
pumps, you just wrote a bestseller. ;)
truth is I want to finish it in the hopes it gets better? I also find myself pathetically attached to the characters. I do that.... when I finished hunger games I was so SAD. (what is it with me and YA lit lately? ugh.)
I bought it for the beach, I wanted a trashy, easy read. It was so infuriating to me I had to stop.
In fact, if they're the only two people in the room 'he said'/ 'she said' is often unnecessary.
goosestepping to be nearer to her magical warmth : OUTSTANDING. HA!
