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Someone Came Out of the Closet Today


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Boy, what a shock we got today at work.  A guy   person we work with wrote a note and put it into our boxes.  Seems that he is now going to be Jessica, not John.   I think it took a great deal of courage to do that.  I cannot imagine the turmoil that someone must go through living inside a body they feel isn't the real them.  This person is married and the wife is dealing with it, we guess, but we shall see what the outcome is.  Hubby and I  have offered our support.  I don't plan on treating Jessica any differently than I did John.  I'm sure that many at our work won't feel that way, unfortunately. 

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We used to have a Jessica who recently turned to Evan. And he is happy. That's all it counts. Luckily no one at work cares about what he used to be and why he turned out this way.

I've never had to deal with that situation, but I admire his courage.  I hope it all works out for him/her.

Wow...that took courage.

I just wanted to offer my insight because my fiance is transgendered (thats the term for someone changes from one gender to the other, incase you didnt know. :) ) from female to male..

Its tough coming out like that, but its most likely come after years of self hatred...Just try to keep the gender words right...using Her instead of Him, things like that. and dont get embarrassed if you screw up...just smile and correct it. Like with my fiance. he gets called "miss" alot...mostly only on the phone or using drive thru things where people cant see him. But try not to feel awkward if you do make a mistake because it will just make you both feel odd. :) She will understand and in time it will be easier. :)

If you are wondering about how to address anything specific just ask...my fiance and I are both very open about things to better help people understand. :)

 

Sara

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

I would not have a problem with a transgendered man (woman? not sure which word is correct here) using the woman's bathroom... but that's just me.

I don't care who uses the bathroom at the same time as me, as long as they're polite about it.  In fact, I'd prefer if men came into the ladies room with their daughters as opposed to asking me to take the brats.

I'd have no problem with a change either way, as long as they were patient with us getting used to the change.  It would take me at least 6 months to call them by their new name.

Original Post by cptbunny:

I would not have a problem with a transgendered man (woman? not sure which word is correct here) using the woman's bathroom... but that's just me.

The OP's Jessica would be a transgendered woman. And yeah, I don't see why toilets would be an issue, especially in the ladies room where business happens behind a stall door.

glam, I'll bet you and your hubby's support means a lot to this person.

Original Post by glamgram:

Boy, what a shock we got today at work.  A guy   person we work with wrote a note and put it into our boxes.  Seems that he is now going to be Jessica, not John.   I think it took a great deal of courage to do that.  I cannot imagine the turmoil that someone must go through living inside a body they feel isn't the real them.  This person is married and the wife is dealing with it, we guess, but we shall see what the outcome is.  Hubby and I  have offered our support.  I don't plan on treating Jessica any differently than I did John.  I'm sure that many at our work won't feel that way, unfortunately. 

 

 Well, that person is very lucky to have at least some open minded, accepting people to work with. Hopefully the others will come around or at least keep their mouths shut rather than give Jessica a hard time about something that may be a bit shocking but is none of their business.

 

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

 On the whole, I would say women are far more accepting when it comes to this. When I lived in Hollywood, many was the night the line for the bathroom was huge in a club, and a transgendered person asked to buddy with me. I never minded, and it's not like either person watched the other.

One does her makeup, the other pees. Switch. Done.

No big major deal.

I think they were far more uncomfortable and worried about the thought of using the men's room as they probably didn't want to find themselves in the company of some jerk who might assault them or something.

Women are a bit less likely to beat someone up.

 

 

It's great to hear that you are so supportive and accepting of Jessica, glamgran. It must have taken a lot of courage and inner strength for her to go through with that (but no doubt even more to live out a life in what felt like the wrong body). I do hope that there are plenty of your colleagues who will be just as supportive. It will take a bit of time, but things will settle down and hopefully everyone will get used to the situation.

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

 That has already been adressed and "she" will use the one in the garage/mechanics area.  I had wondered about that, too.

Shame this even needs discussion...

they're still the same person just known under a different name/gender. As for the toilet thing we all do the same thing in there just go about it a different way so again it really shouldn't be an issue..

We haven't come as far as we should have with things like this..

 

Now if they were going trans-species that would be something..

I wonder would I go dog or horse Hmm or maybe bear then again being an eagle would be so cool...Uch now I'm all con--fussed Wink

Original Post by andie-1:

Now if they were going trans-species that would be something..

I wonder would I go dog or horse Hmm or maybe bear then again being an eagle would be so cool...Uch now I'm all con--fussed

If you pick on my children, I'd go ape-sheep. Does that count?

Good job GlamGram

Original Post by glamgram:

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

 That has already been adressed and "she" will use the one in the garage/mechanics area.  I had wondered about that, too.

It's best to not use quotation marks. It's Jessica and she not "Jessica" and "she"...

Using the bathrooms can be an issue for some transgendered people. A transgendered friend of mine actually had his bladder burst from holding it for so long out of fear of using the mens room....

Personally I dont care...its not like we are watching eachother pee...LOL

I encountered this in the mid-80's at a huge corporation. It was interesting. There were some jokes in private, but everyone treated the person with respect. Can't remember his/her name now.

HR conducted a huge meeting and told everyone about it and basically laid down the law that no one was to harass this person. The guy had to dress as a woman at work for about a year before he could have the surgery.

He had to use the bathroom in the nurse's office until he had the surgery. Then she could use the women's bathrooms.

Original Post by alibsam:

Original Post by glamgram:

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

 That has already been adressed and "she" will use the one in the garage/mechanics area.  I had wondered about that, too.

It's best to not use quotation marks. It's Jessica and she not "Jessica" and "she"...

 I stand corrected. 

Original Post by seratuki:

Wow...that took courage.

I just wanted to offer my insight because my fiance is transgendered (thats the term for someone changes from one gender to the other, incase you didnt know. :) ) from female to male..

Its tough coming out like that, but its most likely come after years of self hatred...Just try to keep the gender words right...using Her instead of Him, things like that. and dont get embarrassed if you screw up...just smile and correct it. Like with my fiance. he gets called "miss" alot...mostly only on the phone or using drive thru things where people cant see him. But try not to feel awkward if you do make a mistake because it will just make you both feel odd. :) She will understand and in time it will be easier. :)

If you are wondering about how to address anything specific just ask...my fiance and I are both very open about things to better help people understand. :)

 

Sara

 I appreciate your openess about this.  Did you know your fiance before?  You both must be very special people.

I feel fear for a transgendered person (namely woman-to-man) who use the men's room. I suppose if he goes right into a stall and comes back out no one will really notice (and start trouble).

Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by 4happyjack:

The problems start when "Jessica" decides to use the ladies toilets

I would not have a problem with a transgendered man (woman? not sure which word is correct here) using the woman's bathroom... but that's just me.

me neither.

good for jessica. that takes guts.

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