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can you stop stomping on my chest, plz and thank you


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Does anyone out there have a parent living with them?? I am going to be 30 this summer and can't stand another day of a parent up in my grill in my own home while I have my own husband and daughter to worry about. He makes my bp go up even being around him now. I know I sound like the worst daughter ever and maybe I am but damn!! How much is one person supposed to take?
21 Replies (last)

Your house?  You need to set limits even if it is your parent.  Be kind but firm.  Perhaps he needs to look at different living arrangements?

This is one of the most stressful things you can go through. KJ is right, your house your rules. Try to be diplomatic and respectful but firm. I'd probably start with something like "You know Dad, you taught me that........"

Good Luck

Would you mind not standing on my chest?  My hat's on fire.

Original Post by dnrothx:

Would you mind not standing on my chest?  My hat's on fire.


Nothing you say ever makes sense...

Original Post by dianafyllakis:

Does anyone out there have a parent living with them?? I am going to be 30 this summer and can't stand another day of a parent up in my grill in my own home while I have my own husband and daughter to worry about. He makes my bp go up even being around him now. I know I sound like the worst daughter ever and maybe I am but damn!! How much is one person supposed to take?


I did for about 10 years. It wasn't without some awkward moments. They are gone now. I don't see them but about 2 times a year and I miss them.

Original Post by kevinatthebrook:

Original Post by dnrothx:

Would you mind not standing on my chest?  My hat's on fire.


Nothing you say ever makes sense...

It doesn't have to if it's italicized

Original Post by aczinder:

Original Post by kevinatthebrook:

Original Post by dnrothx:

Would you mind not standing on my chest?  My hat's on fire.


Nothing you say ever makes sense...

It doesn't have to if it's italicized


Curse you Anna, I'd have gotten away with it if you hadn't foiled my brilliant plan....

i have been trying to grow a backbone, it is hard to take a position of boundaries with him. He has a very dominant personality and my husband and I are the kind of ppl to think of others first and try to help. When he moved in to our home in November he didnt even ask, I got a call that said btw I start a job out where you are, I am moving in to your place in 10 days. I guess I shouldnt expect any less since this has been him as far back as I can remember but seriously wouldnt you have a bit of respect for the ppl who welcomed you into their home? I guess I have to put my big girl panties on and show him who's home this is. Not looking forward to this... Now I just want to eat.

Diana, I didn't get this from your original post. My assumption was that you were caring for an elderly parent. Sorry, I guess I was projecting. I think given the circumstances I'd offer to help him start looking for his own place.

Good Luck. 

It's your house and your life.  Set some ground rules.  If he doesn't follow them, tell him to get out.  

yup. you gotta lay it on the line. he's squatting in your house and making a grab to be king. not very helpful if you're busy trying to get healthy. you can do it. don't put it off. Good luck!

He is totally squatting in my place and he has tried to take over a couple times. It I hard to not want to help him since he is my dad but at the same time my bp goes up every time he is around and my daughter feels the tension in the house. Not good for anyone.

"Dad I love you, but just as I grew up and needed to move out and get a place of my own, it's now time for you to get your own place. Here's the rental listings; I've circled some places that are in a convenient location and fall in your budget. I'll go with you to look if you want, but I have to insist that you find an apartment by _____________ (give him a deadline)."

Original Post by clg1:

"Dad I love you, but just as I grew up and needed to move out and get a place of my own, it's now time for you to get your own place. Here's the rental listings; I've circled some places that are in a convenient location and fall in your budget. I'll go with you to look if you want, but I have to insist that you find an apartment by _____________ (give him a deadline)."

x2

"Sit down and shut up or GTFO, Dad. PS - You owe me rent."

With the caveat - I don't particularly respect anyone who doesn't respect me, regardless of familial affiliation.

Original Post by kevinatthebrook:

Original Post by dnrothx:

Would you mind not standing on my chest?  My hat's on fire.


Nothing you say ever makes sense...

Dump the Jerk...?

Yeah, some dads are a real drag and then some. Tell him he needs to find his own space...the mere fact you ask this of him almost guarantees it will happen. Oh sure, there will be some righteous indignation, that's par for the course, but don't let that scare ya.

Original Post by clg1:

"Dad I love you, but just as I grew up and needed to move out and get a place of my own, it's now time for you to get your own place. Here's the rental listings; I've circled some places that are in a convenient location and fall in your budget. I'll go with you to look if you want, but I have to insist that you find an apartment by _____________ (give him a deadline)."

This.

He's old enough to have a place by himself. (Wait...old enough? young enough?) :-)

backbone - very useful. Also something you might want to teach yoru daughter by setting a good example.

Good luck!!

Oh, here's a less agressive way of doing it:

'Dad, I've been meanign to ask you: When exactly are you going to move out? Because I am planning to repaint th palce and use the room you are currently staying in (don't say 'your room') as _________.'

make his moving out a fact that will happen in the near future when you talk about it - not something you are asking him to consider to eventually sit down to think about.

When you were growing up did he ever say,"While you are living under my roof....."?  If so, now it's YOUR TURN. You could even get a little bit of fun out of it.

21 Replies (last)
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