Struggling with a relationship break up : (
Me and my boyfriend broke up recently ~ we'd only been together 6 months but we became very close very fast in the beginning. I'm only 18 so I know there is all the time in the world for relationships to happen, especially when I go to university later this year but I just can't stop crying all the time.
I didn't expect it to hurt me this much, he was very sweet about it all and he truly was sorry and I know he'll always care for me as a friend, he said so himself; but I get the feeling he can get over this much more quickly than I can. He assured me that we'll remain close and he doesn't want our friendship to change but I can't help but feel this is going to make me worse or at least slow up the process of getting over him.
I'm at a loss of what to do now, I know the pain will go eventually but right now I don't know whether I should avoid seeing him for a while or if that will just make me worse when I eventually face up to him...is it better to just get it out of the way? We always go to the pub on a Thursday night with some friends and he did say he expects to still see me there, but I'm not sure this Thursday is a good idea.
I know I sound stupid, but this was my first serious relationship and it's caught me off guard to be honest.
Thank you in advance!
I am so sorry to hear that things didn't work out and that you are feeling so bad about it. When this kind of thing has happened to me in the past, I have tried to stay away for awhile and focus my attention on other areas. School work, hobbies, friends, volunteering, whatever it took to keep my mind off the situation.
I found that when I finally was ready to face my new "friend" my outlook had changed enough that I didn't feel so devastated. I wish you the best of luck!
I say, take some time for yourself, don't go back to the pub until YOUR ready. Go to a movie, go dancing anything to keep your mind off of him. Maybe you don't want to be friends. To many times we as women sell ourselves short we sit around and cry after a break up -- is he sitting around, more than likely NOT! So why should you. Have some fun spring is here and everyone is out and about--you should be to..
First, you don't sound stupid at all! You're human and have a heart and it's hurting right now. I think that at some point in their life, everyone can understand that. And if they can't, then they haven't lived enough (long enough or fully enough).
I do definately agree that you should focus on you right now. Don't look at it like staying out of his way, but look at it like getting him out of YOUR way. Right now you need to redefine your relationship. A break of not seeing each other for a bit will help to not push him right now and will help you to find some joy without constantly being reminded of him. You'll get over him faster and can move on to being friends quicker.
You need to look forward not backward. You should be stoked that you're graduating and going to university soon!! It's the best time of your life. You'll meet so many new friends and so many new people and have your own freedom! Congrats!!
I'll second (or third!) the other commentors. Its not always in your best interest to just become friends. When I was 18 and my boyfriend broke my heart, I literally had to erase him from my life for about 6 months...until I called him one day when I knew I no longer had feelings. We're not good friends, but we are from the same town and can be friendly towards one another. Don't do it unless you want to, and are ready.
And of course take time that you need to feel better. You said it was a pretty intense relationship so its a normal feeling. But its also good that you've got university to look forward to, and life. (dating gets a lot better with age and once your pool is widened!!!)
Original Post by heaven_28:
You need to look forward not backward. You should be stoked that you're graduating and going to university soon!! It's the best time of your life. You'll meet so many new friends and so many new people and have your own freedom! Congrats!!
This. College provides you with so many extracurricular activities, clubs to join, sororities, classes themselves, so many new people, etc. I would avoid contact with him. Even if he is being nice about things, he still reminds you of what you once had. As others have said, surround yourself with new (or existing) hobbies, friends, possibly other guys if you're ready, excel in school, and your heart will heal soon enough.
I really like the quote, "As one door closes, many more open."
