about time for some fun!

ok guys.. all this stuff ends now!  let's put hurt feelings aside and concentrate on why we're here.. which for me is to have a place to come where i can have some fun without food! 

if you are tempted to post ANYTHING negative in this thread you will be ignored. that's the one and only rule for this thread...

NOW.. time for laughing..  i think everyone needs to tell us a joke.. (make em clean guys.. hehe) 

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him."

let's all laugh! 

thanks erik and co. for all your hard work and efforts!

maybe I am not on enough to see it but I was not aware that anyone was syaing anything neagtive!  So sad!!  Be Happy guys!  I have Gained two pounds and I am happy!  (not about the gain but life in general!)  Sorry OB I am a terrible joke teller so I don't know any jokes!

hey dove.. i got that joke off an email.. haha.. :)  i'm a bad joke teller too but i need some laughing to day.. :)

So, a man is at the Louvre and he's wandering around looking at all the famous works of art, when suddenly he hears a sound.
He looks behind him, and there, in front of him, one of the most famous works of art.. a mysterious smiling lady.
And in front of the painting, a group of college students. One of them has just sneezed.
Soon another joins him, and another, and soon they're all sneezing.

"What's going on?" the man asks a passing woman

"Oh, that?" asks the woman "Don't worry about it. It's just the Da Vinci Cold."

How about a riddle? 

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall??

.

.

.

"Dam."

oh that was bad hkellick. :)

knock knock

whos there?

orange.

orange who?

Orange cha going to make my breakfast!

* my 3 year old just came up and said that to me. NO LIE

Did you hear about the accountant with insomnia? He decided to try counting sheep, but he made a mistake and was up all night trying to find it

good one hkellick.. i laughed out loud!  (hope i didn't wake the hubby.. hehe) 

kathspleen- mwahaha.. that's too funny

slappy.. you have an awesome kid to come up with a gook joke like that!!!  :) 

thanks guys.. :)

aquade.. HAHAH

I am not very good with humor or jokes, but I wanted to say that I so appreciate the positive post!

I have a child's sense of humor ;)
The best jokes are the bad ones ;)

I have another!

It's math class, and all the third graders are passing in their homework to Ms. White, their math teacher. She takes the papers, adds to the pop and sees something out of the ordinary. Among the math papers is a note.

The note reads:

Ms. White

Please excuse young Johnny from doing his Math Homework today. We were unable to complete it, due to a small computer glitch.

Ms. White looks at Johnny and asks him quietly what happened.

Johnny looks at Ms. White seriously and answers "My dog ate our mouse."

hkellick- very cute!Our new puppy did try to eat my daughter's homework the other day.

yeah he is in that funny stage...everything comes in the form of a knock knock joke.

here is one from my daughter

why is 6 afraid of 7?

because 7 8(ate) 9!

hahahaha!  she is learning jokes right now!

  A Bottle Of Wine

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine.

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona,  when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.  As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.  With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said,  " It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."

  

bj1234.. hahahahah!!!  good one!  :)

slappy.. it's a good thing.. to teach children humor!  :)  i know i was taught to be happy and laughing and love life.. :) 

sorry Amy but you have this one coming. You should never given me that German Quote web site.

â??If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?â?�

gross!

good one pum!!!!!  ((Hugs))

positive quotes in "something to keep you going!!!!

slappy here's another one for your kids, my granddaughter told it to us:  (several times--she thought it was sooo funny)

what did the martian say to the gas pump?

"take your finger out of your ear when i'm talking to you!!"

My all-time favourite joke was the one my eldest daughter (turning 12 next month) told me when she was four.  I laughed until I cried that day, and it still makes me howl. 

Why did the squirrel cross the road?

Because it was STAPLED to the chicken!

I love kids.  :o)