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For those of you who have a significant other (preferably one you live with, but I'll take your opinion, regardless!), how often do you hang out with your friend(s)? Once a week? Once a month? Every day? Every 6 months?

Just answer honestly, and for those of you who know my situation, let's just take this question at face-value :)

Here's a really general example of the kind of answers I'm looking for, but obviously, your answers will vary.

'I live with my SO, and every Friday night is girls/guys night...', etc.

I'm really just looking for honest answers to settle my curiosity.

89 Replies (last)
Original Post by awestendorf:


Hope that helps!  I tried not to respond based on knowledge of your situation but I'm sure some of it seeped through (sorry!).

It does help :)

Thank you... and none of it seeped through ;)

Original Post by pgeorgian:

Original Post by vermicious:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by vermicious:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

I'm really just looking for honest answers to settle my curiosity.

Or to use as ammunition?

Against who/what?

 Ima guess a jealous husband?

project much?

Woman does it = she is intuitive

Man does it = he is projecting

Dude, seriously? smh.

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Dude, seriously? smh.

Eh, leave it.  He clearly has a very interesting view of gender dynamics or he's just trying to bait people.  You're most likely not going to change his mind either way.

Original Post by vermicious:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

Original Post by vermicious:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Original Post by vermicious:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

I'm really just looking for honest answers to settle my curiosity.

Or to use as ammunition?

Against who/what?

 Ima guess a jealous husband?

project much?

Woman does it = she is intuitive

Man does it = he is projecting

it's only intuitive if it's correct.

besides, your assumption didn't arise from roxy's question so much as from what you presumed the responses were going to be (a bunch of women saying that they saw their friends all the time and their partner's didn't mind at all).

Original Post by pgeorgian:

people are extroverted/introverted to different degrees and in different forms (most of us are both, in different ways) and have different social needs. as long as you don't pair up with someone with needs that are in opposition to your own, it doesn't have to be a problem.

'course, if you have kids, all bets are off.

I'm all set with kids, them seem to ruin people. I can only imagine what I did to my dear mom's social life.

I try to go to dinner or even lunch with a friend at least once a week, definitely by two weeks! Sometimes we will go out with people together, which I think counts, mostly because we're not overly attached to each other in public and the point of me going out is more to keep myself social than to get away from my husband. =P

Original Post by lilsammi23:

Original Post by roxysparkles:

Dude, seriously? smh.

Eh, leave it.  He clearly has a very interesting view of gender dynamics or he's just trying to bait people.  You're most likely not going to change his mind either way.

True enough, sammi :)

Thanks to everyone who replied... I appreciate it!

My hubby and I have one night a month we each do something fun apart from each other with our separate girl/ guy friends. My night is variable because I often have evening working shifts, but usually in the first week of the month, his is the second Thursday of the month.

We go out with another couple once a month too (not always the same couple). Meal, show, bowling, movie, games night.. we switch it up.

We have one official "date night" on the 26th that's just us, usually romantic/fun but not necessarily going out.

Other than that, I call, text or email my two best friends about once a week, just catching up /staying in touch. More often I guess, (say every 2-3 days) if something stressful is "going on" for them or me.

Any other nights we are either home just us, or spending time with his family (mine are in another country, or we'd include visits with them too).

My partner is temporarily living with me. I hang out with friends at least once a week, usually multiple times a week. But it's much easier in college because you have more free time to just grab a bite after class. I also don't have any super close friends. All of them are pretty much people that I just hang out with for entertainment. I'll do small favors, but that's about it.

I think I was burned too many times when I invested too much of myself into friendships. I had lots of 'friends' in high school, but all of them but one wouldn't talk to me when I became very underweight.

I'm much happier having a couple close people and having more time for myself than trying to impress and maintain a bunch of hollow friendships.

Okay end rant. :D

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

people are extroverted/introverted to different degrees and in different forms (most of us are both, in different ways) and have different social needs. as long as you don't pair up with someone with needs that are in opposition to your own, it doesn't have to be a problem.

'course, if you have kids, all bets are off.

I'm all set with kids, them seem to ruin people. I can only imagine what I did to my dear mom's social life.

 I don't know.  I was a social maniac before marriage.  I had to be with friends all the time.  For me personally, it was fun, but it seems trite compared to my life now with kids.  That's not to say all my friendships were/are as deep or meaningful as yours might be...chances are, they weren't.  But now I'm around grown ups all day at work...that's usually more than enough for me.  Perspective and priorities change.  If you measure me by my old ones, I guess I'm ruined. 

Not everyone's the same though.  My wife is arguably more social now than she was before we got together and had kids.  She's at least more socially confident.

Both my husband and I are fairly introverted and can be quietly happy with each other's company most of the time.  However, I have a couple of sets of "girlfriends" that I make an effort to see - one group are friends I made at work and we try to have get togethers every couple of months; I can't go to all of them since I moved out of the Bay Area about three/four hours drive away but I still go whenever I can.  We talk on the phone and email regularly too; it's really important to me to have that fun outlet.  I also have a women's group (a women's circle) that I go twice a month and we occasionally do other activities - next week we'll go to an art show that one of the group has showing and then have coffee after.

My hubby's best friend, who he was friends with since grade school, died about a year ago and that was pretty rough going for a while there.  But he has recently gotten involved with the local audubon society and is noticeably happier having made some friends (however geezerish they are and there's more than a hint of it) and being able to go out and about on outings with them. 

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

people are extroverted/introverted to different degrees and in different forms (most of us are both, in different ways) and have different social needs. as long as you don't pair up with someone with needs that are in opposition to your own, it doesn't have to be a problem.

'course, if you have kids, all bets are off.

I'm all set with kids, them seem to ruin people. I can only imagine what I did to my dear mom's social life.

It's only bad for a few years, the key is to space them out so the oldest can babysit for the younger ones. My 24 and 21 yr old keep an eye on the 15 and 10 yr olds. But it is hard to have a social life in the early years. LOL

Original Post by r4eboxer:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

people are extroverted/introverted to different degrees and in different forms (most of us are both, in different ways) and have different social needs. as long as you don't pair up with someone with needs that are in opposition to your own, it doesn't have to be a problem.

'course, if you have kids, all bets are off.

I'm all set with kids, them seem to ruin people. I can only imagine what I did to my dear mom's social life.

It's only bad for a few years, the key is to space them out so the oldest can babysit for the younger ones. My 24 and 21 yr old keep an eye on the 15 and 10 yr olds. But it is hard to have a social life in the early years. LOL

you had two extra kids so that the first two could babysit so that you could go out? that's like digging a hole to get the dirt to fill the hole you dug yesterday.

My boyfriend has been living at my place for 5 months because he moved to the city I live in and looked for a job here. Since I started to live with him, I haven't seen a single friend of mine. It's also because I work too much, also on saturdays so I prefer doing my stuff like housework, shopping and visit my parents on my off day. On work days I come home from work, cook for him then go to gym and come back, eat and take a shower and the day is over:( I am afraid of getting married and having kids. I sometimes miss my single days:)

I don't have friends (haven't for years). But my husband used to see his friends once a month when we lived in England (his choice). He could've went every weekend and I would've been cool with it.

My mother's first marriage, to my dad. They had their own friends. My mom saw hers almost every single day. My dad did the same. But he slowly ended up spending MORE time with his best friend than his wife and that is why their marriage ended.

Gotta find an equal balance. I personally think anything is ok as long as both people are happy. I can see hanging out with a best friend 1-2 times a week as normal... or even everyday (again, as long as it doesn't jeopardize the marriage or the spouse's feelings). There's always phone calls, texts and emails to fill in the gap. ;D

you have friends, 'bunny. you're with 'em right now.

I've lived with my SO for about 4+ years now. When we first moved in together, we had friends in the house constantly, and we partied all the time. Now we cherish the time we have alone because our last room mate finally moved out (don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but sometimes you just want to walk around in your underwear, you know?) We can cuddle and kiss without judgement. :) He really is my best friend. He has a few friends that he sees twice a week or more, because they play music together. I don't really care so much, because it's his stress release and I spend twice as much time on relieving stress (working out, the gym/running is my biggest hobby)

I'm in college full time and I work on the weekends/some evenings, so just trying to see my family members is really tough. I consider my mom and sisters close friends. I still keep in touch with my maid of honor and we see each other every few months, mainly because she has an SO and regular work schedule.

Mainly, though, I like my alone time now that I'm a bit older. I thrived on socializing when I was a teen, but now it just stresses me out. I would like to get together for group runs with some like-minded people eventually, when I have a decent work schedule.

I live with my boyfriend, and I will go out with friends 2-3 times a week. The boyfriend is probably about the same with his friends.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

you have friends, 'bunny. you're with 'em right now.

I meant in person. I know who my internet buddies are. :)

89 Replies (last)
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