The Lounge
Moderators: nomoreexcuses, spoiled_candy, Mollybygolly, peaches0405


I met a guy at my sister's party the other night (thursday). We spent nearly 4 hours talking, and we really hit it off. I was manning the bar, and he didn't leave my side the entire night (and he wasn't even drinking).

So, he took me to get a bite to eat and then dropped me off. We kissed briefly, and I went inside. Earlier in the evening we had exchanged numbers, and now I wonder if he will call.

I don't know if he likes me, it is way to early to really KNOW. But, we did get along and it would be nice to talk to him again.

What are people's opinions on this? Should I wait another day and give him a call, or should I wait for him to call me. Guys, what do you think? If you exchange numbers with a girl...would you care if she called you first, or would she seem overly eager?

I sure wish I had a cell phone, I would have texted him by now :)

Edited Jul 01 2008 07:38 by smw
Reason: Cleaned up the worst of the posts, feel free to PM me about any others you think should be deleted.
89 Replies (last)

i had my boyfriend read this: he says that if he stood by you the whole night, he's obviously interested, if he exchanged numbers with you, it's a yes & guys don't hate it when girls call them, they rather like it :] he's probably thinking the same thing right now, 'should i call her or should i wait for her to call me???'

both my boyfriend & i say do it to it, call him!! what have you got to lose?

good luck :D

Calling him is too forward.

High value guys (unlike the BF above) actually will be turned off if a girl calls them first, it can make you seem needy and that you're chasing him. Guys want things that they can't have or things they have to work for, so don't be too easy or needy.

Moreover, A lot of guys will freeze up if the girl calls first in that situation. Ever tried approaching a guy in a bar and he was like "WTF... Isn't that my job?"

If he calls you first, he will feel more comfortable because that is role that most men feel comfortable with, and you also frame it as him chasing you, which makes you more valuable.

When he calls or texts you, he is going to ask to meet up with you, so just agree to it and don't play any games. None of that "Call to confirm" BS or "I'm busy that day" when you're not actually busy.

Get Off the phone as soon as possible and into reality, the phone is an evil device when it comes to attraction.

I agree with huckberry, as hard as it may be wait for him to call, also don't answer the phone on the first ring........don't want him to know that you've been sitting by the phone waiting ......again will come across rather keen.

I agree with huck and anndj.... it's only been a couple days. Wait for him to call...

OH MY GOD did I just slip into a time warp and wake up in 1950? Hahaha "high value guys" give me a break. A "high value guy" wouldn't freeze up on the phone like huckaberry said because he probably can handle a simple event like a freakin phone call.

Call the guy if you want to. I would. Playing games is completely silly and a waste of your time.

If you were manning the bar chances are he can come in and see you again so I would leave it at that even if he misplaced your number or keyed it incorrectly. 

When I was in college my roommates and I placed our bras on the phone when we wanted a boy to call (has to be your bra).  Always worked, don't know whyLaughing

Seriously, go with your first instinct.  Each boy is different.  BTW they are all boys; from 9 to 99.

If you really want to, then call.  If he really likes you it's not going to matter who calls first.  If you get voice mail, don't call again. 

maybe he lost your number.

I had a GF who debated calling after a month of an encounter like yours.  The guy had a funeral and stuff going on then was embarrassed to call after so long.  They are now married.

Do you want to play games or do you want to be yourself?  If you're into playing games, then don't call, wait for him.  As others said it might seem too forward to him if you do call.  If you want to be yourself (and I vote for this option), be yourself.  Don't worry about how it will look or how he will respond.  If he likes you, he likes you for you.  Don't worry about all of the surrounding meaning and just do what makes you most comfy.

#10  
Quote  |  Reply

Call him.

I agree alle. What's with all this playing games crap? Is this highscool?....

If a guy didn't like that I gave him a call a few days after a night of fun, well then obviously he's an ass and not the right guy for me. I've never understood the whole game/lying thing. If they don't like being real then why date that person anyway?

And if my guy wanted me to make him chase me all the time, I'd dump him before he had a chance to dump me. It's not my job to keep you entertained by making you chase me all the time, we're not freshmen in highschool.

Geez.

I can only speak for myself, but if I like someone then I won't care if I call first or they call first. It's not about who's first, it's about whether or not I enjoy listening to them.  For me, something like getting called first is inconsequential.  In other words if you want to call him, call him.

Thank christ for you spiro, I was starting to feel like I had entered an alternate reality when two otherwise sensible women were agreeing with a troll.

To the OP: I asked my husband and he agrees with me, the guy doesn't care who calls who first. Or rather, a guy worth a damn wouldn't care who calls who first. Call him if you want to talk to him, why pretend to be someone you're not?

hahahaha I just don't call guys. If they ask for my number and then don't call... whatever. That's why I said what I did. If it's only been a couple days, I don't see what the issue is. No sense in getting worked up over a couple days...
Call him. Ignore the "rules" laid out by anachronistic throwbacks. If he likes you, he will be thrilled that you called. If he is turned off by your calling because he prefers you to be passive, then he is obviously not worth your time. 

Call him. If he's taken aback by a simple phone call, he isn't worth bothering with. On the other hand, he could be thrilled that you took the initiative (which most girls aren't willing to do because of the jerk guys out there who think it's a man's job to call first). Which would you rather go out with, a jerk or a nice guy?

If you want to talk to him, call him. Sometimes you have to put yourself out there. Maybe he's not interested but maybe he is. You won't know if you don't call.

Don't call him. Wait for him to call you.
As a whole, guys like a chase, & if you call him you seem needy & it's not a challenge for him.

If he's really interested, he'll do the work.

@alli - fair enough, if you don't call guys that's fine, each to their own. It's the agreeing with huck that had me boggling.

Thank you, everyone for your advice!!! I figured it had been a few days, and I called him. Apparently I gave him the wrong number (or he entered it wrong) and he had been trying to call me :) So...all is good now.

89 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement