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does he JUST want sex?


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Ok so I met a guy a month ago, after 3 weeks of just texting and getting to know each other a little bit we finally went out for drinks and had a really nice time just talking. Well 2 days later we had sex. Then the next two times that we had sex he was quick to leave (5-10 minutes later) saying he had to get up early for work or the traffic would be bad, which were both true but it makes me feel used! We have gone on 2 dates bt I'm wondering if all he wants from me is sex but I get mixed signals because then he'll tell me how he wants to go get lunch or dinner again or how he had a great time with me! Wtf! This guy is extremely good looking! And for me I would like to see it develop into something more serious, bt because he's so quick to leave after we have sex I don't think he wants to get to the point were it could develop into something more at least at this point.. Wat do u think?
72 Replies (last)

yes.

Of course he had a great time with you - your dates led to sex.

I'd say go for the date and end it without having sex.  His reaction should give you a pretty good idea of how much he values the non-sex time with you.

Wow, he thinks he struck gold, 2 dates and sex. Developing something serious, Mmmm, I know I'm old , but I think having sex is pretty serious. He doesn't have to do anything else now.

Sorry to sound harsh, but if you wanted it to turn into a serious relationship you shouldn't have slept with him after only one or two dates (I can't really tell how many times you actually went out before you slept together.) I don't think there's anything wrong with you sleeping with him, it's just very difficult to go from having sex so early on to slowing things down and having him be interested in you as a girlfriend and not just someone to call when he's lonely and horny.

I agree with the others. He didn't have to work for it at all. I dated my current bf for 3 mths before we had sex and he had to work for that I mean special amazing dates. When u give them Everythig so early they don't really think they need to do anything else. U can try to turn it into a relationship but he needs to start taking you out. And it cannot always lead to sex...

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Some of these replies really make it sound like we're stuck in the 1950s.  Men want sex, women want committment, make him work for it... bleh. 

That said, it doesn't sound like he's too interested in anything more than sex right now.  Take lysistrata's advice and try to get him to spend some time with you without getting naked.  If he bails, or doesn't call you back, you'll have your answer.

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

You didn't offend me. The descriptions you give just make me feel sick. 

It's different. 

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

No one wants to hear in depth details about a strangers love life. That doesn't make someone prude or mean that they have a pathetic love life. It makes them normal.

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

You didn't offend me. The descriptions you give just make me feel sick. 

It's different. 

Then yes I did offend you. You can't appreciate lust between a man and a woman in a given situation. I've had sex with a woman on a crowded dance floor and I never knew her name...does that make you feel ill as well?

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

You didn't offend me. The descriptions you give just make me feel sick. 

It's different. 

Then yes I did offend you. You can't appreciate lust between a man and a woman in a given situation. I've had sex with a woman on a crowded dance floor and I never knew her name...does that make you feel ill as well?

Honestly, that made me laugh out loud.

...and it made me think about how many stds get transferred on dance floors. 

Original Post by rachelwert:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

No one wants to hear in depth details about a strangers love life. That doesn't make someone prude or mean that they have a pathetic love life. It makes them normal.

LOL! Then why are all you little "girlies" asking all these questions about sex? OMG! This is too comical! The OP asked a question about a guy that wants to bang her and she complies...I offered my EXPERIENCE and I'm still married to my woman...and I still love her!

 

You "girls" are too funny.  Grow up.

Hi there, my best guess my dear (forgive me cuz this is harsh) this guy is not really interested in you. It's time to move on and be with someone more worthy of you. You have good instincts, act on what u'r gut tells u. Take care and be exceptionally loving toward u'r self and the right person will treat you the same.
Hmmm u should Maybe not generalize. Because that comment includes me and just because I make someone wait doesn't mean I am prude or need to grow up. In fact it makes you sound immature. It's fine to have fun if it results in a relationship great but no that is not the norm so don't assume you are right because you met someone ok with just having a sexual relationship at first. I'm glad you guys have an amazing sex life guess what probably most people on here do as well or they wouldn't comment. Don't assume things about people. Just because something works for you does not mean it works for everyone or that it is right. So I'll throw that back at you, grow up.
Maybe it's time to see if u like him for other things - Like the way he treats u, if he cares about u, character, personality, etc. if u want a relationship, i'm sure those things are important to u too. So like others said, no sex for next couple dates- and if u don't like him for other things too or if u don't hear from him, don't take it to heart if he's not interested in a relationship. In the end at least u had a good time and now u know better for next time to wait a while and know each others intentions before 'giving in' (?) or u know, just before passing that point where u risk feeling used
Original Post by lysistrata:

Of course he had a great time with you - your dates led to sex.

I'd say go for the date and end it without having sex.  His reaction should give you a pretty good idea of how much he values the non-sex time with you.

I agree.

I also disagree with the sentiment that "rushing" into sex doesn't tend to lead to lasting relationships. I hate the whole "well, if you wanted something more, you shouldn't have given it up so easily" mentality.

the only reasons my husband had to wait 3 weeks to sleep with me were 1) I had a boyfriend when we met and 2) I had a rule that I wouldn't sleep with anyone before the three week mark. Had those two things not occured I would have jumped him the day we met! I shook his hand when we were introduced and I had a shock of electricity go through me that I will never forget! We have been together 8 years now. We didn't have our first "real" date until 4 months in; before that it was hanging out at his place (with or without my daughter) watching movies then getting it on.

 

And I disagree that people don't want to hear about other people's sex lives! I LOVE Dave's stories about him and Marina and wish that I wasn't so tired all the time so me and my man could make love like that. It also shows that they are still truly and deeply in love. I think its great, like parents who kiss and hug (not full on make out) in front of their kids. It shows that its okay for two people who love each other to show affection and gives hope that real love is out there. That and its kinda like a smutty romans novel and I can take that into my own relationship...mental porn, ftw!

Original Post by rachelwert:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

Original Post by sayitaintso7:

Original Post by pinegrovedave:

First date with my wife was in the backseat of her mini-van in a parking garage at LAX while I was between flights for 1/2 hour and we **** like rabbits in heat....I went to Indonesia with her panties (TMI? Tough...I loved it)

Our 2nd date was in Irvine and we **** each other for 4 hours straight...It was awesome.

That was over eight years ago and I still want to jump her bones....just sayin'

Ugh. I feel ill.

I agree with others that said to go out on a date with him and to not follow it up with sex. Then see if he's interested in hanging out with you again.

It's hard to tell if he's using you or not at this point. 

I'm sorry I offended your "delicate" sensibilities. Heaven forbid should I **** LUST after my woman...even after all these years....and I'm 52. I just told her today after we got back from a Costco "run" as she was changing back into her sweats (while I was feeling her up) that I'd do her in a New York minute and I'd be "nekkid" before she finished the sentence if she was to say she wanted me to do her.

Feel ill?...I'm thankful I don't have your love life.

No one wants to hear in depth details about a strangers love life. That doesn't make someone prude or mean that they have a pathetic love life. It makes them normal.

well, i guess i should say i never considered myself normal, and no-one has ever accused me if being normal, but i like hearing the detail of other's sex life.

 

OP-imagine things from the other perspective. you go on many dates and really start to "like" each-other and think you have a relationship evolving. then you have sex and it's terrible. just sayin'.

72 Replies (last)
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