Wedding Ring Trauma -please read
Two weeks ago I damaged my wedding rings beyond repair. 
The center stone fell out and the support piece is not substantial enough to repair. I have only had the ring for four years, wearing it 24/7 but am usually so careful with my jewelry. I mashed my hand in a door. Also lost a fingernail - ring finger.
I'm just so upset about it but it will have to replaced. Both Hubby and I are very sentimental about stuff and I don't know how to tactfully ask for a certain ring I saw. I don't want him to think I can so easily replace the one he picked out for me. My feeling is that the ring is an object but it was his love, presentation and the meaning of the ring that counts. Any ring he had picked out would have had the same meaning to me.
Has anyone gone through something like this? What was your feeling about getting another ring? How did your hubby/wife feel about it?
I cant speak for his feelings on the situation. However, in general, guys are happy if their partner is happy. As a guy that just got married in November, I can tell you that the ring is just a symbol and that all I cared about was making her happy. If I were to do it all over again though, I would have gone with moissanite jewelry instead of diamond. Much cheaper, almost just as hard in material, and very pretty. You can do a quick google search to see what I mean.
Just remember that the ring is a symbol, nothing more. Sentimental attachment to an object is understandable but also insane. Sentimental attachment to the person is much more important. *grin*
Did you lose the stone? If not you can get it reset.
eta: Oh, and I agree with b: The symbol isn't near as important as the real thing, a happy marriage! :-)
Oh. also. As a metallurgical engineer, I recommend your next ring to have platinum, titanium, or tungsten carbide settings. White gold, yellow gold, and silver are just too malleable, allowing for accidents like this.
Original Post by blkudlac:
Oh. also. As a metallurgical engineer, I recommend your next ring to have platinum, titanium, or tungsten carbide settings. White gold, yellow gold, and silver are just too malleable, allowing for accidents like this.
Thanks for the thoughts and info -I'd never thought of that.
Original Post by kikt:
Did you lose the stone? If not you can get it reset.
eta: Oh, and I agree with b: The symbol isn't near as important as the real thing, a happy marriage! :-)
^this, you could even have the stone put in a necklace if you have your eyes set on another ring.
I have wanted another ring and would trade my set in a heartbeat.
I think you may be able to mention that you could have the stone set in a necklace or other piece by letting him know that it is so close to your heart and want to keep any piece of it you can. Of course you are going to need another ring too. 
Do you have jewelry insured as a part of your homeowners. Most policies include jewelry. I lost my stone twice and was reimbursed for it both times. I did add extra prongs after the second loss and haven't lost it since.
Yeah, did you lose the stone? I worked in Jewelry and it happens more often than you think. If you have the stone, you can keep that and just replce the head (where the diamond sits). If the ring is completly smashed, it may be too weak to be repaired, so what you could do is design a new ring to look like the old one and place your new stone in it. You could also meltdown the old rings and mold them into a simple pendent (even just a circle) so you can still always have it.
But in the future, these rings are not meant to be work 24/7. I take mine off when I'm at the gym, swimming, running, gardening...anything out of the ordinary.
If you still have the stone, why don't you just have it reset to match the setting that you saw and want? You already have to reset it, might as well go with one you like.
I went through three wedding rings in our first four years of marriage.
I agree with resetting the previous stone (if you still have it) into the new style of ring that you like.
Why have two separate pieces of jewelry? Unless that is what you want, an necklace and a ring.
I understand mj's point that jeweled rings might not be intended for all the time wearing, but my ring does not come off (knuckles swollen) so have no choice but to wear mine 24/7. So far, no problems (six years).
ETA: my sons and two brothers all work in industrial / construction, so ring damage was a factor they took into account when they chose their wedding rings. They all chose Titanium and they look really good.
I lost my engagement ring before we even got married. It never got replaced. My wedding ring fell apart a few months ago (we didn't have a lot of money when we decided to get married). It will probably never be replaced. My husband gave me a pretty necklace with three diamonds--it's broken. He tried again this Christmas with earrings. We'll see how long they last. He still seems to like me, but I don't think he wants to waste his money on buying jewelry for me anymore.
until she gave you a leg shackle
;-)
Original Post by foxriver:
I agree with resetting the previous stone (if you still have it) into the new style of ring that you like.
Why have two separate pieces of jewelry? Unless that is what you want, an necklace and a ring.
I understand mj's point that jeweled rings might not be intended for all the time wearing, but my ring does not come off (knuckles swollen) so have no choice but to wear mine 24/7. So far, no problems (six years).
ETA: my sons and two brothers all work in industrial / construction, so ring damage was a factor they took into account when they chose their wedding rings. They all chose Titanium and they look really good.
Both Hubby and I are very sentimental about stuff and I don't know how to tactfully ask for a certain ring I saw
Sounds like she already has one picked out. So why not get the sentimental and the new ring she likes.
One can never have too much jewelry. tee hee
You know what, after wearing my wedding ring for a few months I decided I hated it. Not like, hate the style and how it looks, I hate how clunky it is and how often it gets snagged on clothing (and now my child), how many times I've knocked a stone out of it, how many times it has to be bent back into it's proper shape, blah blah blah.
I just told husband outright, "I love you, not jewelry. Would you be offended if I opted to NOT wear my ring?" He had a slightly better suggestion and offered to get us both new wedding rings on our five year anniversary. I'll get a boring ol' flat band, and so will he. Only his will be able to be resized, unlike his current ring.
Explain to your husband you love him dearly, and you love a new ring dearly, too. I'm sure he'll realize your marriage is not about a rock on a piece of metal. That's just a sparkly accessory.
I hear what you're saying...my experience was not with a wedding ring but a necklace, actually two.
When we first got married, my hubby wanted to surprise me at Christmas with a pearl necklace. As luck would have it, he couldn't find any in his price range. He told me how disappointed he was as he wanted to get me something "special". I let him know that I wasn't a pearl kinda girl and I would have been horrified if he spent that much on a gift for me. Instead, he bought me a small cladaugh pinky ring as he is from Irish descent. I still wear it today 24/7.
About 10 years ago, the hubby tried to surprise me with a necklace. It was an oriental jade medallian with a gold dragon in the centre. A beautiful piece but definitely not something I would wear. He could tell by my reaction that I was going to tuck it in my jewelry box and leave it there. He asked and I admitted so he gave me the receipt and told me to pick something I would wear. I did.
Out of that experience, he jokes that it is easier to let me pick what I want as styles change and so do I. While jewelry may not be a surprise, I never know when we may end up "shopping".
I would suggest you be honest and let hubby know you would prefer a new ring. If you're both sentimental, how about renewing your vows with each other with the new symbol?...not suggesting a formal ceremony is in order, it can be just a special time that you set aside for each other. And as other have suggested, make the old ring into a new piece.
Original Post by cellulitedelight:
You know what, after wearing my wedding ring for a few months I decided I hated it. Not like, hate the style and how it looks, I hate how clunky it is and how often it gets snagged on clothing (and now my child), how many times I've knocked a stone out of it, how many times it has to be bent back into it's proper shape, blah blah blah.
I just told husband outright, "I love you, not jewelry. Would you be offended if I opted to NOT wear my ring?" He had a slightly better suggestion and offered to get us both new wedding rings on our five year anniversary. I'll get a boring ol' flat band, and so will he. Only his will be able to be resized, unlike his current ring.
Explain to your husband you love him dearly, and you love a new ring dearly, too. I'm sure he'll realize your marriage is not about a rock on a piece of metal. That's just a sparkly accessory.
not to take over, but you can get a tatoo there instead...I have seen it and think it's cool...talk about forever!
My situation was different from the one your described but this is what we did:
About 12 years ago our home was broken into and cleaned out while we were at work. My rings had gotten too tight so I wasn't wearing them that day. After the break-in, our insurance company informed us they'd be paying for new wedding and engagement ring and some other replacement jewelry. I didn't want a ring that matched the one my husband had proposed with because I didn't want to associate the new ring with the trauma of the robbery. I explained this to hubs and we ended up picking a new ring that was drastically different (and cheaper) than my original. We used the spare insurance money to buy a matching set of his/her watches. Our insurance company paid the jeweler a pre-set amount before we went shopping and as such we had to "spend it or lose it". Matching watches seemed a nice way to go.
I lost my engagement ring several years ago. Just looked down and the stone and head were gone! I went to wearing just a single band for a few years. For our 15th anniversary my DH surprised me with a custom ring he made for me in the diamond district. The stone is smaller than the first one but the time he put into the design of the second still makes me gush.
That's why I loooove my engagement ring (my wedding ring is just a band). It's flat, infinity symbol shaped with little diamonds filling it in. It never snags, it doesn't seem to smash or become out of shape easy because it's so flat to my finger. :D
Original Post by rosieblue:
I lost my engagement ring before we even got married. It never got replaced. My wedding ring fell apart a few months ago (we didn't have a lot of money when we decided to get married). It will probably never be replaced. My husband gave me a pretty necklace with three diamonds--it's broken. He tried again this Christmas with earrings. We'll see how long they last. He still seems to like me, but I don't think he wants to waste his money on buying jewelry for me anymore.
Sounds like you need that Titanium stuff...
Original Post by kae03:
Original Post by cellulitedelight:
You know what, after wearing my wedding ring for a few months I decided I hated it. Not like, hate the style and how it looks, I hate how clunky it is and how often it gets snagged on clothing (and now my child), how many times I've knocked a stone out of it, how many times it has to be bent back into it's proper shape, blah blah blah.
I just told husband outright, "I love you, not jewelry. Would you be offended if I opted to NOT wear my ring?" He had a slightly better suggestion and offered to get us both new wedding rings on our five year anniversary. I'll get a boring ol' flat band, and so will he. Only his will be able to be resized, unlike his current ring.
Explain to your husband you love him dearly, and you love a new ring dearly, too. I'm sure he'll realize your marriage is not about a rock on a piece of metal. That's just a sparkly accessory.not to take over, but you can get a tatoo there instead...I have seen it and think it's cool...talk about forever!
umm..that's an idea. We just got matching octopus tats, but the ring thing sounds cool.
