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What's YOUR story, and how has it affected your life?


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Some of you may have read my post where I vented about my mom. Everyone has their story, whether it's about uncaring parents or growing up as an outcast, etc. I'm curious to see which of these experiences have affected the way you live your life now. Have you developed issues that you've never managed to overcome, like problems with weight, relationships/intimacy or whatever else? Or if you did manage to overcome it, how did you do so? I'd love to hear your stories :)

 

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i would share if it didn't make me so damned depressed :/

I had an ear infection as a child.  It hurt.

I lived life in fear of another ear infection.  I got one anyway.  It hurts.

I have just justified my fear of ear infections over the last ten years.

The end.

I'm paranoid and incurably anal about my credit score and saving money. No matter what else I let slide or what bridges I burn, I refuse to let my credit ratings drop. And if I touch any of the cash in savings, it makes me nauseous. I had a full-blown panic-attack when I put the down-payment on my car.

And since this behavior is a direct result of my childhood, it more than qualifies as "my story."

I was not always big as a little girl, about 7, I was skinny. well, one summer i went to my grandparents house skinny and came out a fat ass. ever since then I have been struggling with my weight. im starting to exercise and eating right. and I'm still on my missions to be Kissskinny

You will just have to wait till the book comes out!!!  My story is incredible, unbelievable in parts and amazing and sad sometimes and when I look back it was / is fantastic.  What some people may have seen as mistakes - if they had not occurred I would not be where and who I am today and that would be sad.  

 

I was always chubby, since I was about 5. I enjoyed food and only complained about my fatness a little, it didn't bother me much, unless my mom made me shop for clothes.

Then I wanted to lose weight.

First I ate "diet" food, like healthy choice, and normal food. Was very paranoid about what I ate, didn't know if it was too much. xD But it didn't bother me.

Then I did some research, learned about calories, ate 1500 calories a day of mostly cereal and fruit.

Then I learned you are supposed to BALANCE your meals, so I ate healthier, more protein and fat, less carbs.

Now I am very obsessed with it, I wont eat anything "unhealthy". I sometimes wish I could go back, and eat "normal" things and enjoy food more, but then I think "OMG if I got fat again I would just die" So it's this big circle. I love food,yet I hate it. I hate it because I can't eat a lot of it, I love it because of memories and taste. I just think of food a fuel, and think "If I dont workout hard, I don't need very much food..." Now I have an ED. And am afraid of carbs. If I eat and don't workout, I feel guilty. If I don't workout, I feel like I will lose muscle and gain fat. Even if it's just a day (besides the weekends)

Hopefully I can be normal again some day...

 

THE END

My relationship with my mother has had an impact on every aspect of my life and I am overwhelmed by the need to address these issues and have no idea where to start.

I watched her get married and divorced three times, have multiple dramatic affairs, cheat on her spouses, etc.  I've seen her lay in bed for days, crying and wailing because she'd been abandoned or done wrong or dumped.  Because of this, I have absolutely no expectation of ever having a normal relationship.  When I date, I do so with the assumption that it will come to an end (usually sooner rather than later) and most of the time, I do things to purposely push them away.

She is obese and has a terrible relationship with food.  I can't speak for her, but the way she eats and lives indicates that she doesn't care at all about her body or her health.  I have become obsessed with being the opposite...I am aware of every ounce of fat on my body and feel this need to rid myself of it to put more distance between what she is and what I am.  I know that probably sounds cruel.

She is terrible with money and has never been financially responsible or stable.  I feel guilty spending money on anything most of  the time...and then other times, I will go on wild spending sprees and get a sick high from it.  It's very much like the binging cycle I have.

It's interesting to see where everyone comes from and the things that have affected them!

Ah, to be normal...

I've got enough stories to fill a book.  Why just last weekend I wrote another chapter, came to another understanding about myself and my relationships with others.

By the time I die I'll probably have enough stories to fill a bloody encyclopedia.

But thats life.

My dad's in the military so we moved around a lot when I was a kid. I hated it, I hated losing friends, I hated everything about it. It made my relationship with my dad terrible. We get along great now, but...it's spoiled me. I've lived in the same apartment (my third apartment) for over a year and now I'm sick of it and I have this crazy itch to move again.

Papa was a rollin' stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
An' when he died
All he left me was a-loooone.

My Mom would "send me to bed without dinner" which would turn into days and days without food.  My Uncle had to sneak me cheerio's once because I hadn't eaten in days.  When I was allowed to eat with the family, I had to "clean my plate".  As a result, I eat like I am never going to see food again, and keep eating even when I am full because of both.  It is awful.  I moved out when I was 17, and I am almost 32 now and I STILL have not broken this habit.  My fiancee can stop eating when "he is no longer hungry" but I have to meticulously measure every morsel because I just won't stop eating until it is all gone. 

 

Eastern European hillbillies migrate to the States.  Grow up trying to hold onto tradition, but blending in with the Americans as much as possible. Grew up with a old world view on society, life, sexism and religion in a contradicting real life world in the 'burbs.

Dad wanted the peasant wife; mom wanted a better life.  Not sure if that's an eastern European/American cultural shift or a controlling/freedom martial status shift.

Either way, I'm a confused individual. I love my independence, but want to be taken care of.  But, I'm strong and I think I make some pretty good decisions and know I can provide a fun and structured family for my future kids.

Original Post by dove2424:

My fiancee can stop eating when "he is no longer hungry" but I have to meticulously measure every morsel because I just won't stop eating until it is all gone. 

 

I wasn't molded with a off switch, either. Ever since I was little, I could eat until it was all gone. Never thought it was "wrong" until a friend left her large bag of potato chips at my house.  I ate them all that night. She asked for them back the next day, I told her they were gone and I got large, deer-in-headlights eyes looking at me like I should join a freak show circus act.

I have never heard a good word from my father - but I got plenty of beatings.

I moved away from my family as soon as possible. Eventually I got married and we were expecting our first child. Sadly our dear son died shortly after birth - oh how I was looking forward to be a real good father to my son!

Unfortunately the pain does not go away when I stuff my face. Now I am on a long road of recovery and get good support from the CC fraternity.

When I was younger I got kicked out of school for a whole year.  After that I got suspended so many times I wasn't welcome in the public school system and had to go to boarding school and still barely graduated.  Fast forward many years.  Next week I will be a lawyer.

Original Post by wwwilliam:

I have never heard a good word from my father - but I got plenty of beatings.

I moved away from my family as soon as possible. Eventually I got married and we were expecting our first child. Sadly our dear son died shortly after birth - oh how I was looking forward to be a real good father to my son!

Unfortunately the pain does not go away when I stuff my face. Now I am on a long road of recovery and get good support from the CC fraternity.

So, so sorry for you loss.

Original Post by claudb89:

i would share if it didn't make me so damned depressed :/

This. Most of it is in my profile anyways.

I think it made me a better person... I'm more empathetic and compassionate as a result. I'm fairly certain if the events had changed I'd probably be different.

If I could change one thing and one thing only, I'd have told someone what had happened to me after it had happened.

Original Post by wwwilliam:

I have never heard a good word from my father - but I got plenty of beatings.

I moved away from my family as soon as possible. Eventually I got married and we were expecting our first child. Sadly our dear son died shortly after birth - oh how I was looking forward to be a real good father to my son!

Unfortunately the pain does not go away when I stuff my face. Now I am on a long road of recovery and get good support from the CC fraternity.

I am sooo very sorry to hear about your son! **hugs**

Original Post by wwwilliam:

I have never heard a good word from my father - but I got plenty of beatings.

I moved away from my family as soon as possible. Eventually I got married and we were expecting our first child. Sadly our dear son died shortly after birth - oh how I was looking forward to be a real good father to my son!

Unfortunately the pain does not go away when I stuff my face. Now I am on a long road of recovery and get good support from the CC fraternity.

I am so sorry. :((

Same here, about the beatings and stuff, the relationship with the parents got a lot better after I moved. The only conclusion that I managed to draw is that 4 ppl in a small apartment = bad idea. Humans need their space and privacy, otherwise stress makes them do and say bad things to each other.

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