So I have this guy that I've been in love with, slightly obsessed. Lol. He happened to be a retired professional baseball player. We've become friends. I've hung out with him a few times; had my first and only alcoholic drink (I just had a shot with him too, so now it's two) with him. Every time I have seen him I was 305lbs.
He's back in town and I now weigh 201. I hung out with him again and I wasn't embarrassed for him to be seen with me. I felt like it was okay that I was out with him. Not like a pity date as I did before. It was amazing. I have so more more confidence now that I didn't know I didn't have before. I even made a sexual advance (something I wanted to do for 9 years) towards him and it was kind of accepted. Lol. :)
Now, on a side note: he didn't want anything like that to happen as he said it'd ruin our relationship and possibly make things awkward. Well I did it. And I think he's not happy or disappointed with me. :( honestly, those 10 minutes I was *pleasing* him (sorry for tmi) was amazing but not worth not being friends with him.
Now I'm kind of depressed about it and I did a 20 mile bike ride hoping to feel better but it just made me want to eat. :(
If I hadn't lost weight, that wouldn't have happened and we'd still be friends. I guess I just wait and see.
Reason: Locked at OP's request
Don't live with regrets. If you like a guy, go for it! It is worse than not going for it and always wondering.
And congrats on the weight loss!
We talk on twitter now. Lol. Two days after I left his place I offered to cooked him dinner since is fridge was bare and he obviously dines out for every meal. He said it sounded like a great idea. He said he was planning on coming down last night as the Tigers don't play today so he wouldn't have to work. I didn't hear from him and asked of he was coming down or not. Nothing. I also lied and said I dropped 1.5lbs go he below 200 and he didn't answer that either. :(
The night we were hanging out, we were at his place watching tv. I started giving him a foot massage. And then a calf massage. And I just kept going higher and higher. Lol. He let me. Never told me to stop or anything. He even took his shirt off cause I asked. Lol. Then I got to the goods and after a minute he stopped me and said "we can't. We're so tight. We're friends. This might make t awkward". But then I went back down (yeah, I know. I shouldn't have, but he wasn't very convincing that he didn't want me to do t. :/) when he was done, we cuddled the rest of the night until 10am. He promised we were still friends and he wasn't mad at me. But after he said the dinner would be great, I haven't heard from him again.
I'm so upset with myself. Those 10 minutes were amazing but soooo not worth losing the friendship. :'(
I wish I could just casually run into him. Ha. That'll never happen. It'd have to a planned "coincidence". Like, I know where he goes so I'll go to see if he's there. And that just comes off as creepy. lol.
I just don't understand why I would say, "that sounds like a great time" in response to my dinner offer if he's not my friend anymore. I guess I just have to not DM him on twitter anymore and wait to see what he does. :'( Hardest thing of my life. I wish I could go back.
First of all- Shame on him for not stopping it and then treating you so poorly after he let it happen. I understand men are kind of perv's and their judgement lapses in the face of temptation, but he could at least call you afterward.
With that said, it sounds like you have become emotionally invested in someone that may be unable to reciprocate for some reason or another, and that is a terrible feeling. The best advice I can give is to move on (easier said than done, I know!), keep up what you're doing and the next time you see him he'll see what he was missing (and hopefully, you'll realize that you weren't missing much).
Keep up the good work!
All this comes down to is he worth it ?
I'm not anymore emotionally invested than what I was before I even met him. lol. If that makes sense. It's just different because he is a celebrity. And yeah, he is 6'2" 220lbs of muscle and could hve easily stopped me. It was like a "I know the right thing to do is say no, so I will and get that out of the way" type thing.
I've met one of his girlfriends, too. I have always known I'd never have a relationship with him, and it was really anything I wanted. I don't know if anyone has ever been in a similar situation with someone you'd never imagine having this opportunity with. Like, Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, or Shemar Moore in Criminal Minds, etc. You know, that celeb that is just so sexy you'd give anything to bleep bleep them. lol. Well that's what it was. And I took my opportunity the 3rd time we hung out and I am truly regretting it. I just want to go back to the friendship we had. I mean, he could honestly not be mad/disappointed etc with and just has been too busy to talk. I don't think so though.
Thank guys for listening to my rant. It helps as mt BFFs get sick of hearing me talk about him. lol.
I just want him back as my friend.
So let me get this straight...you initiated sexual contact with a married man?
Side note: why is this in the weight loss forum?
Don't judge. lol.
And because it came up because of the confidence I've gained from losing 100lbs+.
No worries about you going on about him it will do you good . Not sure if we are allow to on a weight forum ?
They say to not talk to him and give him time. To quit overanalyzing. That's hard. And this forum is just helping vent the frustration. And I can't talk publicly on facebook or whatever because a) they know me b) as a result they would know who he is and I definitely am not trying to cause him any problems.
I haven't messaged him today. hHe hasn't responded to a DM but he has a public tweet. ugh! I'm going to try to go a week withouth DMing him and see if I hear from him. And if nothing else and I ruined our friendship, I atleast got something I had been dreaming about for 9 years. lol.
I never thought weight loss would do this.
Congrats to you for working hard and losing so much weight, that's quite an accomplishment.
I know this is going to sound harsh but you've worked so hard to improve the outer you, but what about the inner you? Morals and ethics are just as important as a trim waistline. This man has a family, and a wife that he pledged his love to. Why would you cross that line? Even if he's the type of person that has no problem doing that, why would you allow yourself to become the kind of woman who disregards the impact your actions could have on an entire family? You really have no problem putting your hands on another womans husband?
You deserve a man who only has eyes for you, not someone who already has a family.
Yeah I know socially it's taboo, however I've ALWAYS felt that if I'm single, I don't have a boundary. Those are his boundaries. The only boundary I guess I crossed was our friendship one. I do have morals, but he "pledged his love to her", not me. As wrong as you may think it was, he isn't just a Joe on the street. He's a retired professional baseball player, currently on TV everyday.
Now honestly, if you had the opportunity to be with your Brad Pitt, you'd pass it up because he has a ring on his finger and not you? I doubt it. In the moment it just kind of happens.
I say May 1st, 2011. I was homeless for 3 months in a Michigan winter. I found a place with two Indian international students who didn't eat as many sweets as my family did. So I quit buying them too. Last month when I hit the 100lbs lost mark, I ate about maintenance level for a month or so, and I'm now back at deficit. :)
what sort of thing did you eat when you were first losing ? as I only just started last Monday and my scale don't seem to be moving ! and I know I have cut down