I yelled at an adult
hold the phone...OP, what would your parents have done?
Original Post by lasposacadavere:
Original Post by rosieii:
Original Post by lasposacadavere:
Original Post by suzushii:
You were nice and she wasn't, but there was no reason for you to go to her house to argue with her. It was obvious nothing good would come out of that.Although I agree with the bolded, I think it's completely understandable that the OP did it. Nothing wrong with demanding some basic respect, let alone wanting to sort things out.
Also, I weep for that woman's kids.
why? because she was trying to get them to the bathroom before they had an accident in public?
Um... No. Because their mother isn't a very good example of how one should behave.
As for the post above... Following her home and talking to her because she walked on her property? No. Doing the same after the woman was EXTREMELY rude towards her? She totally had the right to do it. Fourteen or not, she has the right to stand up for herself. Besides, that woman didn't behave like an adult and thus doesn't deserve to be treated as such.
Meh, insaneteen was harrassing a mom with small children. I would have been impatient with her too.
The kid needs to learn some boundaries before she gets herself into real trouble.
Being a mom doesn't give you the right to act that way. And she started it (assuming the OP is telling the truth, of course) - the kid politely asked her to move and she was 1) on the kid's family's property and 2) patronizing a kid that wasn't hers and wasn't causing any trouble.
Just for the record, I would have handled it differently, since I, as someone already said, don't know the woman's mental state and wouldn't want to get myself into trouble. However, I only think that the kid's actions were rash, not wrong.
Original Post by sarahhenderson88:
I personally wouldn't enter the property of someone I had just asked to stay off mine, but in many countries, all people have a right to not be discriminated against on the basis of age. To me this means that the ages of OP and neighbor are irrelevant. What if OP was an adult and neighbor was a teenager?
This is incorrect. The OP is minor. The law intentionally discriminates against minors (for good reason). She can't drive, vote, drink (at least in the US) or enter into a contract.
Seriously; a mature teenager could have handled this more respectfully and with much more dignity.
It's just so stupid. If she had said, "My parents asked me to keep people off the lawn," or something along those lines, it would be maybe a little bit understandable. But she basically ordered this adult off the grass. Rude and disrespectful. Also if the situation had been more dire or urgent (neighbor lady sifting through their mail or pooping in the grass maybe) I could understand.
wow. I used to run through almost everybody's yard when I was growing up. Not Clyde & Verdie's - because Clyde and Verdie were old and would call your parents when they got home from work. Seemed like Clyde watched the front yard and Verdie watched the back.
I never realized how much mischief I got away with just from running around in yards instead of in the streets (we didn't have sidewalks).
I can't even imagine yelling at an adult when I was a teenager.
Now, I can think of some reasons I might have *spoken* to an adult about their walking through our yard --1) if they were walking over that patch of dirt where my dad was always scattering grass seed and covering it with hay in the vain hope of making grass grow there, I would have said something because that would have made him mad and I probably would have gotten in trouble for it. Or 2) if it was ... nope, I guess I can just think of that one reason.
If it happened more than once and I knew my dad didn't like it, I probably would have turned on the sprinklers on them, which I realize is very passive-aggressive. But oh well.
Original Post by insanespace:
I don't usually yell t adults but she was being ugh! This lady walked through my lawn.
Even if this was "your" lawn, I'm curious as to why it was such a big deal to you. Are there hazards in your yard, new sod or grass seed, have your parents expressed their frustration with people trespassing, or is there a record of vandalism / breakins in your area?
I mean, I remember being 14 (sort of), and if I saw a person walking through the front yard, I might have thought - "huh, I guess they needed a shortcut...." and gone back to reading or watching TV, or riding my bike....any number of things a 14 year old normally does which have nothing to do with the lawn.
Granted, I grew up in midwest surburbia, where we knew everyone on the street didn't really need to worry about the neighbors, but that seems like odd behavior for a 14 year old.
Original Post by santonacci:
Original Post by insanespace:
I don't usually yell t adults but she was being ugh! This lady walked through my lawn.Even if this was "your" lawn, I'm curious as to why it was such a big deal to you. Are there hazards in your yard, new sod or grass seed, have your parents expressed their frustration with people trespassing, or is there a record of vandalism / breakins in your area?
I mean, I remember being 14 (sort of), and if I saw a person walking through the front yard, I might have thought - "huh, I guess they needed a shortcut...." and gone back to reading or watching TV, or riding my bike....any number of things a 14 year old normally does which have nothing to do with the lawn.
Granted, I grew up in midwest surburbia, where we knew everyone on the street didn't really need to worry about the neighbors, but that seems like odd behavior for a 14 year old.
Well, when it comes right down to it, isn't posting on a calorie counting web-site dominated by adults odd behavior for a 14 year old? The same 14 year old that posted she hated her grandfather because he "needs help".
So either this poor child is being burdened with the responsibility of being the adult in a multi generational setting (if so my heart goes out to her) or she's a whiny, smarmy brat that has a problem with adults and belongs in some sort of compensatory anger management program.
If a 14 year old saw the neighbor keying her mother's car, should she do nothing until her mother comes home because only adults can deal with property?
The woman walked on her LAWN FFS.
I guess the OPs lawn is made of gold!
Original Post by smashley23:
If a 14 year old saw the neighbor keying her mother's car, should she do nothing until her mother comes home because only adults can deal with property?
tooooooooooooootally not the same. nice try though.
Original Post by smashley23:
If a 14 year old saw the neighbor keying her mother's car, should she do nothing until her mother comes home because only adults can deal with property?
If a 14-year-old saw an adult actually destroying property, I'd say yes, she absolutely should call somebody to deal with it rather than trying herself. I don't think walking on your lawn is exactly equivalent to keying your car, though.
Original Post by lostpumpkins:
Technically, no she was not on the kids property. She was on the property of the kids parents. And I have a really hard time believing that her parents would encourage her to do this sort of thing. It's just flat out a bad idea.
It's just so stupid. If she had said, "My parents asked me to keep people off the lawn," or something along those lines, it would be maybe a little bit understandable. But she basically ordered this adult off the grass. Rude and disrespectful. Also if the situation had been more dire or urgent (neighbor lady sifting through their mail or pooping in the grass maybe) I could understand.
I agree with you and Kev absolutely. But this is what kids do. She's 14... and bored? She shouldn't have followed the lady home, but other than being a PITA she hasn't done much wrong/that isn't to be expected of someone at her age.
Original Post by smashley23:
If a 14 year old saw the neighbor keying her mother's car, should she do nothing until her mother comes home because only adults can deal with property?
Really? Is this what you would consider an equivalent analogy? 1 is clearly criminal the other only marginally criminal if the property is posted.
I don't consider the offenses equivalent. The point of an analogy isn't to find equivalent events. The point is to try and hone in on the type of logic being used.
My point was that everyone seemed to say that she shouldn't have told people to get off the lawn since it is not "her" lawn. It is her parent's lawn. Since she is a teenager, she can't have any stake in people respecting her parent's property. If that is the case, then she should do nothing about the car too.
You can't have it both ways. The first amendment applies to teenagers too, and it is not unreasonable for a teenager to try and uphold respect for their parent's property when they are not home.
Eh, I don't have a problem with her asking the person to get off her lawn. I mean, I don't really see the point, and I don't think it's a big enough deal that I'd have said anything, but if she does, ok. I DO think the fact that she actually followed the woman back to her house is a problem. I think that was unnecessary and a bad idea.
She SHOULD do nothing about the car. If I had a 14-year-old daughter, and she confronted an adult she doesn't know who was causing harm to my property rather than calling me and asking me how to deal with it, I'd be upset. I would feel like she'd risked her safety over a stupid car.
Original Post by smashley23:
I don't consider the offenses equivalent. The point of an analogy isn't to find equivalent events. The point is to try and hone in on the type of logic being used.
My point was that everyone seemed to say that she shouldn't have told people to get off the lawn since it is not "her" lawn. It is her parent's lawn. Since she is a teenager, she can't have any stake in people respecting her parent's property. If that is the case, then she should do nothing about the car too.
You can't have it both ways. The first amendment applies to teenagers too, and it is not unreasonable for a teenager to try and uphold respect for their parent's property when they are not home.
I'm not sure that's the objection most of us had. My objection was the manner in which I perceived her to approach the situation which was based on her recollection of the events and some of her past postings.
It's not a first amendment issue as far as I'm concerned it's a matter of common sense, civil behavior and a modicum of respect for your elders, which, based on her "writings" she is severely lacking in. I suppose that's a thing of the past but it's a past I long for.
How do you show respect for someone doing the wrong thing? You should respect trespassers if they are older, but not if they are younger.
Asking someone to get off of your property isn't disrespectful. It's disrespectful that they were on your property in the first place.
If elders want respect, then they should behave appropriately.
When I was a kid and teen, we lived in a house that backed up to another subdivision and people were constantly cutting through our yard on foot to get there. It eventually got to the point where the foot traffic had worn a path in our yard from front to back.
I was never, EVER allowed to confront people walking through our yard, even if they were my own age. Especially if I was alone in the house. If my parents were home, they'd say something to them in a respectful tone. If they were repeat offenders, the tone would be a little more terse.
I cannot begin to imagine myself in the OP's situation. Talking to an adult that way and actually following them onto their property (which, I may add, is somewhat aggressive behavior, even if the tone was calm) to confront them about being rude. I would have told my parents and they would have either talked to the neighbor lady or let it slide.
If my parents had confronted someone cutting through our yard and the adult said they had to get a kid to the bathroom, they would have been understanding and may have even offered up our bathroom instead.
The adult neighbor being rude and immature doesn't make following her (and her young children) onto her property "fair." Now that I'm a parent with young kids, I would hope property owners would be more understanding. Then again, I would probably be carrying said child that needed to pee and running on the sidewalk instead of cutting through yards.
Edit: Okay, I just reread the OP's second post. If the woman had simply said that her kid had to pee instead of snarling, "Do you pay for this? No. And don't ever talk to an adult like that," would you (OP) have been more understanding? Or would you have still followed her home to tell her she was being rude?
