Forcing my kids to become vegetarians
My kids are happy omnivores. I do all the cooking and food shopping in the family, so I buy chicken and fish for the meat portion of their diets. They like pasta with chicken and veggies, chicken salad and tuna salad. They don't care for beef, except for the once a week Mc Donald's my mom gets them, so this isn't a problem. When they want hot dogs...it's gotta be the hot dogs from Whole Foods that are nitrate free, antibiotic free, growth hormone free, 100% beef.
They drink organic milk (they don't like soy or any other milks), and they like yogurt. The kids enjoy the little Bluebell vanilla cups and they eat part skim, mozarella cheese. I always make steamed broccoli, peas, carrots or green beans (at this point they don't want to eat other veggies and keep calling Okra "Oprah"! They do eat pinto beans but only my daughter likes peanut butter. They love whole wheat pasta and whole wheat bread. Mac & Cheese is a treat about 1-2 a week. For breakfast they like whole wheat blueberry or regular waffles or pancakes.
Everyday for snacks and dessert, they choose from these: Strawberries, blueberries, bananas, grannysmith apples, blackberries, oranges or grapes. Watermelon is a hit, when I buy some.
Here's the problem...my husband. He says that I'm trying to turn them into vegetarians. Why? I think it's because I refuse to cook meat for him. He's at work when I cook dinner for the kids. I'm getting ready to go to my night shift job when he gets home. He's still got that macho mentality that there should be a plate of dinner, with meat, sitting on the table for him when he gets home.
We've been married a long time. This is nothing new. He knows he needs to cook for himself if the kids ate all the dinner. When I get home from work, I don't walk in and say, "Where's my breakfast?". I mean, come on! I work all night, having a meal ready for me, when I get home would be great, but do I expect that...absolutely not.
I do want the kids to have a vegetarian day once a week, after school lets out (only 2 days left). I think it will challenge them to think outside the box of a meat eating diet.
Why aren't my kids veggies now? Because there's no way my husband would ever let this happen. He told me that if I tried, he would tell their grandmother (my mom). This woman (who I love, dearly) scares the h*ll out of me and I would never, ever want her to think my kids were vegetarians. She would crucify me. If the kids ever want to become vegetarian, we're going to have to do it behind everyone's back.
Any advice on vegetarian for a day foods to keep a 9 and 12yo interested?
My question is why wuold your husband be so anti-vegetarian when he married one?
And I'm sure your mom would be fine if the kids themselves chose to go veg, plus, they are your kids!
Anyway, I love sweet ptoato fries, just cut up a sweet potato (or two), a teaspoon of olive oil, a dash of sea salt, mix in a bowl, and bake for 15 minutes in the oven at 425 F, Mmm..
Tofu is always good, tofurkey sandwiches with tomato, soy cheese, and spinach? Or what about baked oatmeal? Mac and cheese is simple, or any pasta for that matter (maybe with broccoli and soy balls?)
The possibilities are endless!
Thanks for the ideas.
I wasn't a veggie when he married me, but I didn't eat very much meat, either. He always would tell me that I had appetizers for meals. I'm a new veggie, almost 3 mos, now.
He is eating a lot more fruit now, so that's a good thing, also.
I love meat. And I do think that veggitarianism should be a personal choice. If your husband doesn't agree to it - then I can see why he won't agree to having your children 100% meat-free.
That being said - just because I eat a few meals a week without meat it does NOT make me a vegetarian either. Like I said - I love meat - but I still have vegetarian dishes! Have some valuable information on hand to make sure your kids are getting enough proteins in their meals without the meat and it shouldn't be an issue! A meal without meat is not unhealthy (more healthy can be argued?) and maybe all your husband needs is some affirmation that you aren't turning the kids against meat just exposing them to a variety of meal options. I think he's worried that you won't respect his opinion and will try to sneak the kids into complete vegetarianism - and that is going to be the part he doesn't like.
Also by cutting out meat in the menu once or twice a week will help with grocery bills! It is a common suggestion for planning menus on a budget - maybe try that approach!
There are some great recipes available for veggie lasagna & pasta's that have beans instead meat. Tofu stirfries... Black bean burgers... all these are meals that your husband might not even mind partaking in!
And just a suggestion - even though I agree having food ready for his arrival should not be an expectation - would it be so hard to cook up an extra serving once in a while that he can reheat when he gets home since you're cooking for the kids anyways? Why cook 2 dinners when it could all be accomplished at once? I'm a big fan of having leftovers on hand and portioning the meals so that on those "lazy" nights I have something leftover to grab and reheat. Or maybe you could make a deal where if Breakfast is waiting for you when you get home than Dinner will be waiting for him!
I think lasagna, spagetti with marinara, Soups, meatless chili, grilled cheese sandwiches, quesidillas, cheese enchiladas would all be kid friendly. As for the cooking issue I agree with the previous poster- if you are cooking for the kids why can you not cook enough for him? I totally understand that you if get the kids McDonald's that you will not go home and cook just for him but I think that it seems like you are being passive aggressive about the fact that he wants to eat meat and that as your spouse you should respect him and if you going to the trouble to cook then make enough. I would expect the same in return? Is he cooking breakfast? If so he should make enough for you if not then it is a different issue.
Changes can be hard on marriages and you should remember that you are the one that chose to change and while he will experience some discomfort from this I would not go out of my way to make it an issue. If you prepare tasty meat free meals for the entire family he will probably come around more then if he is left to make his own dinner.
I think that the undertones of this message are saying that you and him are going through a tough time(working 2 jobs, very little time together, raising young kids). But you will all be much happier if you learn to work together in raising your kids and help each other instead of having conflict even if it is unspoken. Good luck. Marriage and raising kids is tough but they both require a lot of work and you can do it!
Original Post by jef9up:
I love meat. And I do think that veggitarianism should be a personal choice. If your husband doesn't agree to it - then I can see why he won't agree to having your children 100% meat-free.
That being said - just because I eat a few meals a week without meat it does NOT make me a vegetarian either. Like I said - I love meat - but I still have vegetarian dishes! Have some valuable information on hand to make sure your kids are getting enough proteins in their meals without the meat and it shouldn't be an issue! A meal without meat is not unhealthy (more healthy can be argued?) and maybe all your husband needs is some affirmation that you aren't turning the kids against meat just exposing them to a variety of meal options. I think he's worried that you won't respect his opinion and will try to sneak the kids into complete vegetarianism - and that is going to be the part he doesn't like.
Also by cutting out meat in the menu once or twice a week will help with grocery bills! It is a common suggestion for planning menus on a budget - maybe try that approach!
There are some great recipes available for veggie lasagna & pasta's that have beans instead meat. Tofu stirfries... Black bean burgers... all these are meals that your husband might not even mind partaking in!
And just a suggestion - even though I agree having food ready for his arrival should not be an expectation - would it be so hard to cook up an extra serving once in a while that he can reheat when he gets home since you're cooking for the kids anyways? Why cook 2 dinners when it could all be accomplished at once? I'm a big fan of having leftovers on hand and portioning the meals so that on those "lazy" nights I have something leftover to grab and reheat. Or maybe you could make a deal where if Breakfast is waiting for you when you get home than Dinner will be waiting for him!
I am the same. Happy omnivore who loves all kinds of meats but sometimes has a meatless day.
I like making pilafs. Take a grain (rice, bulgar wheat, etc) or mashed potato or squash and cook/mix in with cut veggies and beans. All your nutrients in one messy looking package! I flavor them depending on my mood: you can add cayenne and chili pepper powder for a mexican theme; salsa or salad dressing is nice.
Double stuffed potatoes are also fun. Take a large potato and bake it, then slice in half and scoop out the insides. Mix innards with whatever (I've used cream cheese and raisins with sweet potatoes) then scoop it back into the skins. Top with more cheese if you want and put back in the oven to crisp.
I second lasagnas, pastas and soups...many bean chilis. Also I endorse boca burgers.
Tell your kids that they can eat how they want as long as they get proper nutrition and have fun with what they eat. I hope your husband realizes you have no hidden agenda to turn your kids off meat. I do think that you should have something for him to eat when he gets home...like was said earlier, why not make it all at once?
Your husband sounds like a drama queen, pulling that "I'll tell your mother" crap. Just like everyone else gets to decide what they eat, you should get to decide what you handle and cook. Maybe you could strike a deal with your husband. If he wants them to eat meat, he can do some grocery shopping and prepare them food every once in a while. Sounds fair to me. No, he still wins since you will most likely still do most of the cooking and you both work. Tell him to man up!
You said your kids are happy as omnivores and that you control what they eat. But your husband is against making them veggie. How about you two compromise? Vegetarian meals three days a week, Omni-meals three days a week, let the kids pick their own type of meal once a week. Eventually, they can make their own decision. It also doesn't hurt that you can really spruce up the vegetarian meals as a subtle influencer and make fairly basic omnivorous meals. :P
And sweet potato fries are the greatest thing on the planet. 
Oh, man. I think I just figured out what I want for dinner. :D
Original Post by jef9up:
I love meat. And I do think that veggitarianism should be a personal choice. If your husband doesn't agree to it - then I can see why he won't agree to having your children 100% meat-free.
That being said - just because I eat a few meals a week without meat it does NOT make me a vegetarian either. Like I said - I love meat - but I still have vegetarian dishes! Have some valuable information on hand to make sure your kids are getting enough proteins in their meals without the meat and it shouldn't be an issue! A meal without meat is not unhealthy (more healthy can be argued?) and maybe all your husband needs is some affirmation that you aren't turning the kids against meat just exposing them to a variety of meal options. I think he's worried that you won't respect his opinion and will try to sneak the kids into complete vegetarianism - and that is going to be the part he doesn't like.
Also by cutting out meat in the menu once or twice a week will help with grocery bills! It is a common suggestion for planning menus on a budget - maybe try that approach!
There are some great recipes available for veggie lasagna & pasta's that have beans instead meat. Tofu stirfries... Black bean burgers... all these are meals that your husband might not even mind partaking in!
And just a suggestion - even though I agree having food ready for his arrival should not be an expectation - would it be so hard to cook up an extra serving once in a while that he can reheat when he gets home since you're cooking for the kids anyways? Why cook 2 dinners when it could all be accomplished at once? I'm a big fan of having leftovers on hand and portioning the meals so that on those "lazy" nights I have something leftover to grab and reheat. Or maybe you could make a deal where if Breakfast is waiting for you when you get home than Dinner will be waiting for him!
I can buy extra pasta and veggies and extra chicken to add to the meal to make it enough for him. Unfortunately he eats very large servings, so I will need to add a lot more food (probably more like 2-3 servings) to make the meals enough for him, but this does sound do-able.
Original Post by randomv3:
Your husband sounds like a drama queen, pulling that "I'll tell your mother" crap. Just like everyone else gets to decide what they eat, you should get to decide what you handle and cook. Maybe you could strike a deal with your husband. If he wants them to eat meat, he can do some grocery shopping and prepare them food every once in a while. Sounds fair to me. No, he still wins since you will most likely still do most of the cooking and you both work. Tell him to man up!
This is how I feel. He needs to man up and contribute to this family. Touching raw meat has always grossed me out, so I can probably work my way around that with gloves, maybe.
It's his, "I'm gonna let you do everything" stance that annoys me and he wants me to do all the: grocery shopping, cooking, taking and picking up the kids from school, parent teacher conferences, paying bills, taking kids to the doctor, picking up prescriptions (even his, because he's diabetic and too tired to pick up his own meds, or so he says, and GOD HELP ME and the KIDS if he runs out of Lexapro...he just becomes a mean person) so I always make sure he has enough. He gets upset when his diabetic meds run out and I have spent all my paycheck on the kids tuition, bills and food. He doesn't check his own meds to see when they need to be refilled, and then he whines that he can't be without his meds, yet doesn't want to contribute financially for the meds (which are $250/month-his only).
He does make sure the DirecTv is paid, though. (He considers that a priority).
I have a hard enough time keeping track of the kids' meds and need for refills and med co-pays, as they both have asthma and ADHD.
In addition, our son is mildly autistic and his needs are sometimes overwhelming. I have my hands full with them after school, when I've worked all night and need to help them with homework, cook them dinner, wash and iron their clothes for school and spend at least some fun mommy time with them. This, and I still have to pull an 8-10hr night shift for 4 nights a week. I sleep between 4-5hrs a day if I'm lucky. Some days I only sleep 3 hours. I'm so tired all the time.
And yeah, mb. You're right. I'm being passive aggressive because I'm so fed up, at this point. These problems were here before I became a veggie. I've tried to talk to my hubby about this stuff before, but he tells me that he needs to rest after work because his job is more demanding than mine.
Sorry about the long rant. :/
Before my husband and I married, diets were a big issue. I cook without meat and he cooks with. We agreed that the person doing the cooking is the person that decides what the ingredients will be. If the other doesn't like whatever is made, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches can be made.
After nearly eight years, it is difficult to tell which one of us cooked the meal. He doesn't use meat for much anymore. He has also stopped drinking organic milk and drinks almond milk. Kids do the same.
Original Post by phoebe_luvs_smallville:
Original Post by randomv3:
Your husband sounds like a drama queen, pulling that "I'll tell your mother" crap. Just like everyone else gets to decide what they eat, you should get to decide what you handle and cook. Maybe you could strike a deal with your husband. If he wants them to eat meat, he can do some grocery shopping and prepare them food every once in a while. Sounds fair to me. No, he still wins since you will most likely still do most of the cooking and you both work. Tell him to man up!
This is how I feel. He needs to man up and contribute to this family. Touching raw meat has always grossed me out, so I can probably work my way around that with gloves, maybe.
It's his, "I'm gonna let you do everything" stance that annoys me and he wants me to do all the: grocery shopping, cooking, taking and picking up the kids from school, parent teacher conferences, paying bills, taking kids to the doctor, picking up prescriptions (even his, because he's diabetic and too tired to pick up his own meds, or so he says, and GOD HELP ME and the KIDS if he runs out of Lexapro...he just becomes a mean person) so I always make sure he has enough. He gets upset when his diabetic meds run out and I have spent all my paycheck on the kids tuition, bills and food. He doesn't check his own meds to see when they need to be refilled, and then he whines that he can't be without his meds, yet doesn't want to contribute financially for the meds (which are $250/month-his only).
He does make sure the DirecTv is paid, though. (He considers that a priority).
I have a hard enough time keeping track of the kids' meds and need for refills and med co-pays, as they both have asthma and ADHD.
In addition, our son is mildly autistic and his needs are sometimes overwhelming. I have my hands full with them after school, when I've worked all night and need to help them with homework, cook them dinner, wash and iron their clothes for school and spend at least some fun mommy time with them. This, and I still have to pull an 8-10hr night shift for 4 nights a week. I sleep between 4-5hrs a day if I'm lucky. Some days I only sleep 3 hours. I'm so tired all the time.
And yeah, mb. You're right. I'm being passive aggressive because I'm so fed up, at this point. These problems were here before I became a veggie. I've tried to talk to my hubby about this stuff before, but he tells me that he needs to rest after work because his job is more demanding than mine.
Sorry about the long rant. :/
It sounds like you have a lot of built up resentment towards your husband. I think attempting to communicate how you feel about this to him deserves another try.
I don't have any kids, but I have often heard people that have careers and children often say that being a parent is their more difficult job. I suggest making him do all the parenting, housework, shopping and cooking that you do for a week and see if he still thinks his job is more demanding and deserves to rest when he comes home.
I was vegetarian for a year, but I could never get the hang of doing it right and ended up with a vitamin B12 deficiency that was pretty severe. I eat meat again now and, go figure, after avoiding it completely for a year I have discovered I actually enjoy it.
I say do your vegetarian once a week thing with the kids, what's the harm? I know what you mean about raw meat being gross, most of the time I refuse to handle raw ground beef especially (but I will on occasion to make certain things) blegh! I used to feel sick just walking in the meat aisle.
Then, when your kids are old enough to choose for themselves, they can become vegetarian if they want to.
I don't think you should feel obligated to cook extra for your husband either, if your schedules are like that. Maybe if you have extra to cook you could, but he's a grown man and I'm sure he can make his own dinner. I tend to be a feminist though so I despise that "where is my dinner, woman" mentality.
Original Post by randomv3:
Original Post by phoebe_luvs_smallville:
Original Post by randomv3:
Your husband sounds like a drama queen, pulling that "I'll tell your mother" crap. Just like everyone else gets to decide what they eat, you should get to decide what you handle and cook. Maybe you could strike a deal with your husband. If he wants them to eat meat, he can do some grocery shopping and prepare them food every once in a while. Sounds fair to me. No, he still wins since you will most likely still do most of the cooking and you both work. Tell him to man up!
This is how I feel. He needs to man up and contribute to this family. Touching raw meat has always grossed me out, so I can probably work my way around that with gloves, maybe.
It's his, "I'm gonna let you do everything" stance that annoys me and he wants me to do all the: grocery shopping, cooking, taking and picking up the kids from school, parent teacher conferences, paying bills, taking kids to the doctor, picking up prescriptions (even his, because he's diabetic and too tired to pick up his own meds, or so he says, and GOD HELP ME and the KIDS if he runs out of Lexapro...he just becomes a mean person) so I always make sure he has enough. He gets upset when his diabetic meds run out and I have spent all my paycheck on the kids tuition, bills and food. He doesn't check his own meds to see when they need to be refilled, and then he whines that he can't be without his meds, yet doesn't want to contribute financially for the meds (which are $250/month-his only).
He does make sure the DirecTv is paid, though. (He considers that a priority).
I have a hard enough time keeping track of the kids' meds and need for refills and med co-pays, as they both have asthma and ADHD.
In addition, our son is mildly autistic and his needs are sometimes overwhelming. I have my hands full with them after school, when I've worked all night and need to help them with homework, cook them dinner, wash and iron their clothes for school and spend at least some fun mommy time with them. This, and I still have to pull an 8-10hr night shift for 4 nights a week. I sleep between 4-5hrs a day if I'm lucky. Some days I only sleep 3 hours. I'm so tired all the time.
And yeah, mb. You're right. I'm being passive aggressive because I'm so fed up, at this point. These problems were here before I became a veggie. I've tried to talk to my hubby about this stuff before, but he tells me that he needs to rest after work because his job is more demanding than mine.
Sorry about the long rant. :/
It sounds like you have a lot of built up resentment towards your husband. I think attempting to communicate how you feel about this to him deserves another try.
I don't have any kids, but I have often heard people that have careers and children often say that being a parent is their more difficult job. I suggest making him do all the parenting, housework, shopping and cooking that you do for a week and see if he still thinks his job is more demanding and deserves to rest when he comes home.
I like your suggestion.
Original Post by thehappyfish:
I was vegetarian for a year, but I could never get the hang of doing it right and ended up with a vitamin B12 deficiency that was pretty severe. I eat meat again now and, go figure, after avoiding it completely for a year I have discovered I actually enjoy it.
I say do your vegetarian once a week thing with the kids, what's the harm? I know what you mean about raw meat being gross, most of the time I refuse to handle raw ground beef especially (but I will on occasion to make certain things) blegh! I used to feel sick just walking in the meat aisle.
Then, when your kids are old enough to choose for themselves, they can become vegetarian if they want to.
I don't think you should feel obligated to cook extra for your husband either, if your schedules are like that. Maybe if you have extra to cook you could, but he's a grown man and I'm sure he can make his own dinner. I tend to be a feminist though so I despise that "where is my dinner, woman" mentality.
^This. His family has the same mentality, also but I don't see them much since we don't get along. I'm also a feminist and I think that train of thought (make my dinner, woman!)is a bunch of bs.
i wanted to write you directly because i think your post was hijacked into dealing with you and your husband rather than the isue of your kids, i am sending you this link to this menu to the most yummy nice veg cafe where i live, maybe it would give you some ideas and also be satisfying for your husband, i say this because my huge manly guy friend went here and he did not even know it was a veg restaurant till days later when some one told him.....he said everything looked so good he did not even notice there was no meat, so hope there are some ideas, i say it is otally fine what your doing with your kids now, but i would continue with the chicken and tuna, mostly because they like it, i think our bodies tell us what is good for us. i am not veg anymore but 90perc of my meals are. my body craved chicken 1 day and i like it now, but still get sick at the sight of beef
One thing to consider is instead of making a being vegitarian meals just sprinkle vegitarian meals thru the week with the concept being tasty healthy foods.
The bigger deal of it being a VEGITARIAN meal you make it the more likely there is to be resentment and pushback. The more you FORCE it the less likely it is to be well recieved. If you just happen to serve a yummy eggplant dish or squash gnocchi or whatever tasty dish that happens to not have meat the less liekly you are to get a hassle.
You can up the servings of veggies without making it a crusade where it is omnivore vs veggie. Or every monday must have no meat. Isn't it more effective to sprinkle say 4 vegitarian meals through teh week then make a stance on any one day with meat at all other meals.
How about a yummy oatmeal bars for breakfast on tuesday or a lunch of hummus and veggies on thursday or stuffed peppers on wednesday dinner. Slip in a variety of tasty vegitarian meals without the judgment that comes along with forcing vegitarian days on people. You will have them eating many more but if you judge those of us who are omnivores the intrinsic desire is to push back and get defensive. FYI I am in this forum looking for some food ideas even though I eat and enjoy meat.
Oh girl - eat some more root vegetables and grow some courage. Your momma can't harm you - LOL.
Read "Skinny Bitch" there are so many great little tidbits in there regarding the case for a vegan diet.
Do you know anyone who has died from a protein deficiency? Me neither - however kids with obesity and heart and digestive issues are everywhere. There is NO GOOD ARGUMENT for meat and dairy. None. There are plenty of good calcium rich greens and fortified milk subs - Any kid who doesn't like Rice dream fortified vanilla or soy milks in chocolate or strawberry fortified with calcium hasn't tried one! LOL There are many calcium fortified milk alternatives out there. Dairy does no good for anyone except dairy farmers.
I don't know if anyone posted this yet, but there are new guidelines that have been introduced.
About these guidelines, they are basically common sense and also should be adjusted to one's own diet.
As for your kids and hubby's meat eating. You can continue to give them meats but in smaller portions. Basically, change the visual aspect of the plate. Continue to do this until there is no meat on the plate or just a 3oz portion, whatever you feel comfortable with
You can continue to give the hubby his portion of meat even if you have a meat free meal prepared. For example make baked chicken for a few meals, portion it out for different nights and when your family has a meat free meal, he will still have his meat.
As for your mother and husband, PLEASE. These are your children. If they are going to spend the time, money, and effort that it takes to care for them and feed them, then they get a choice as to what is served in the home. If not, then its your decision. That said, your husband brings in some of the money, but you make all the meals. When he cooks then they can have meat. So I"m guessing that won't be too often.
My family has had problems with my children being vegetarian, but now that my daughter is 4 the questions have died down. My children are healthy and eat more fruits and veggies than any other children in the family. That is proof that I am making good decisions for them. If they still argue with me, I state to them what I just stated to you. I'm tired of people trying to tell me what to do with my children.
Once you take a true stand then you will find yourself in more control of your families dietary needs.
Oh, and as for the milk. My kids are being weaned on to Almond milk. The trick is to mix it with regular milk until they develop a taste for the other milk. Basically, 1oz almond, 7oz milk, until it becomes 7oz almond, 1 oz milk. It might take you a couple of months to fully switch them over, but its worth it. You can try it with any other type of milk.
You can also do veggie hotdogs with all the fixin's and veggie burgers. I used to top them with mushrooms and swiss on a sesame bun, yum.
Original Post by ccm800:
Oh girl - eat some more root vegetables and grow some courage. Your momma can't harm you - LOL.
Read "Skinny Bitch" there are so many great little tidbits in there regarding the case for a vegan diet.
Do you know anyone who has died from a protein deficiency? Me neither - however kids with obesity and heart and digestive issues are everywhere. There is NO GOOD ARGUMENT for meat and dairy. None. There are plenty of good calcium rich greens and fortified milk subs - Any kid who doesn't like Rice dream fortified vanilla or soy milks in chocolate or strawberry fortified with calcium hasn't tried one! LOL There are many calcium fortified milk alternatives out there. Dairy does no good for anyone except dairy farmers.
Thanks for the idea about the rice milk. I've tried the soy chocolate and vanilla milks but my kids hate them. However, I will try the rice milk. I can just pour it out in a glass and not say anything (other than, "here's your drink"). They might actually like it.
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