Vegan: There's being unsupportive, and then there's just being rude!

So I tried being vegan last year, and I last about half a year then gave up around Christmas. Well I have started again. I won't go into why I don't suppose it matters.

But whenever I mention it I just seem to get a torrent of abuse!

 Does this happen to anyone else?

I can usually take it from my parents, but last night my mum's friend called me a 'stupid cow' and then told me that I was going to osteoporosis.  Then she said how I'm the same as all the other teenage girls who refuse to drink milk.

It may all be true but I wasn't expecting it I suppose...

Just try and be good-humoured but firm about it. I agree it's annoying, but ... hey ... that's life.

It seems like a lot of people have problems with very unsupportive and rude family/friends.   I think the younger people get it the worst which is understandable because adults assume they won't take care of themselves (which happens). 

I think the best way to deal with this isn't to be preachy but to show them that unlike them you have done significant research about the issue and that you are serious about your decision.  There is a lot out there that talks about calcium and how milk isn't the only or best source.  Most vegans/vegetarians know more about nutrition then the average omnivore that eats the standard American diet. 

I have been lucky, I have gone to a dairy free high raw diet and the worst I have gotten is a few strange looks and my mom constantly offering non-raw things like crackers and cheese! Even my hunter, pizza and cookie loving boyfriend has been supportive once he realised how serious I was about it.

 Don't let someones rudeness bring you down!

Just be strong. *raises fist*. They'll ease up when they see how serious you are.

My issue is more of a fish thing. My mother has finally given up on making me eat meat anymore, cuz she knows nothing works lol. BUT she's one of many folks who believes that being a vegetarian means you still eat fish. *sighs* I hope she gets the idea soon.

As for the milk thing, you could do some research so that you'll have reliable sources to show to them when they start talking to you about it. I think it'd be best to get the stuff from the books, rather than just the internet- or else they may claim that it's just junky internet BS.

Find stuff that explains why cow's milk maybe the most common way to get calcium, but not the healthiest. Since it's filled with saturated fat, cholesterol, pus, blood, etc. You can also explain to her that humans are the ONLY mammals on the planet to drink another animal's breast milk. Most people don't recognize this, and when they do it seems pretty unnatural. You can also do research on better and more effective ways to get calcium and show them how much better it is than cow's milk. And you could take a vegetarian multi vitamin too. My parents are a little more at ease knowing that I'm for SURE getting my daily vitamins. Good luck!

Ummm...Cats also remain lactose tolerant and enjoy the milk of other mammals (probably from their long association with humans and farm animals).

That said, there are plenty of ways to be vegan and healthy.  It takes a bit more work than being vegetarian or a meat eater. 

My only concern with younger people is that sometimes they drift towards unhealthy diets in general and may not have the discipline and commitment it takes to be a healthy vegan.  That depends on the individual, so it's hard to say whether their concerns are valid or not. 

The best way to convince family is to be as responsible and healthy as you can, show them literature or get advice from a doctor or dietician if they still question you.

Good luck and good health.

i tried being vegan, but than i wanted the kefir, and i'll never give up shrimp.

it's a great diet for whatever reason and

we know how to do it in a healthy way.

our parents grew up in that eggs for breakfast, meat and potatoes for dinner era.

so it *could be...

1)they don't understand

2)they may think it is a drastic way to lose weight

one thing is certain: they are not supportive of you,

(even if they mean to be, don't ask me how that works)

take care of yourself.

you can change you, not others. (serenity prayer) 

i can identify w/ that in a way:

my mom get's insulted if you don't eat her pie's, dinners, and usually if you don't ask for seconds.

i don't eat everything she cooks but it was hard for me at first.

i would just leave the table.

since,i've told her that it's not about her.

i've helped her understand that sugar is like rat pioson to the human body.

she still consumes and cooks w/ sugar most of the time.

i know she cares bc she tries not to sometimes.

 

in conclusion: ultimately it is my body, and my decision . 

"the body is a temple" 

Original Post by kkwg99:

Ummm...Cats also remain lactose tolerant and enjoy the milk of other mammals (probably from their long association with humans and farm animals).

I don't think so.  I've had cats all my life, and while they like to drink milk, it gives them diarrhea. Ask any vet. 

Original Post by run_isha_run:

It may all be true but I wasn't expecting it I suppose...

It's NOT true!  She was being not only rude, but agressive and abusive.  It's hard to know what to say to someone who makes that kind of comment.  There is no way to counter the attack of someone out to hurt, intimidate and insult you, and I do believe that was the intent. 

I think the best thing is to do what you know is right and lead by example, which you can't do with a comeback to an argument - anything you could say would simply feed her anger. 

Be at peace in your heart and let these things go.  Lead a good, useful and harmless life.

Yes I understand what you mean - just because she hasn't done any research doesn't mean that I haven't. It just wasn't very nice being shoved into the pigeon hole of girls who are scared to drink cow's milk for fear of putting on weight. I'm terrified of not getting enough calcium and iron and things - I'm so conscious of things that I put in to my body and I suppose she was assuming that I didn't care.

 But you must agree, when people get angry with you about veganism, it only fuels your desire to prove them that you can do it. So in a tiny way I suppose she has lost.

She lost in more ways than one!  How much better for her if she'd asked you about what you're doing and why you made this choice.  I think young people have it much harder in this respect.  Can you imagine somebody saying something to an old lady like me?  It just doesn't happen.

Clairelaine, cats are like people in that sense.  Give a long-term vegetarian or vegan meat or dairy and it'll make them sick.  Barn cats that get fed milk every day (they used to line up so they could be squirted with milk) can digest it just fine.  The problem comes when you feed a cat milk once every six months and it isn't used to it.

Now, there's certainly an argument that milk is not the healthiest for humans (or cats), and, whether it is healthy or not, we definitely don't need it to get all of our calcium.

I guess what I'm trying to say is there are extreme positions on each side and I think the truth usually lies in between. 

I don't believe the dairy industry sponsored studies that tell us that milk is necessary for survival, maintaining healthy weight, avoiding osteoporosis etc, etc, etc.  I'm also not always convinced by the Vegan lobby that everything related to meat and dairy is unhealthy either. 

I think we should all listen to our bodies and our beliefs, try to live healthy lives, be respectful to animals and the environment and try to support people like run_isha_run when they make an informed choice to be a vegan (and not to lecture and look down on people who choose to eat meat/dairy).

That just makes me feel terrible. Does she think that diet choices are an ok reason to be so rude? Sounds purely defensive and insecure. I think you need to either let it go, or point out just how obnoxious it is to call someone a cow. Comments like that have nothing at all to do with your food choices. It's personal.

I live in iowa and being vegan is never easy when we go out. when talking to a server, I tell them that I am allergic to eggs and dairy, rather than telling them I am vegan. For whatever reason, people seem to be willing to bend over backwards for people with allergies, but when i tell people I am vegan, they act like I am asking them to do me a huge personal favor. So, a little white lie and most of the problems are solved.

No way! I did exactly the same thing in the supermarket the other day... I asked this older woman for help on the difference between vanilla extract and vanilla flavouring for a chocolate cake I was making, and after telling me she asked what sort of chocolate cake... so instead of mentioning the word vegan I said it would be a dairy free cake because I'm lactose intolerant... I felt really bad afterwards and I won't do it again - but it was amazing comparing her reaction to other's... bad karma though...