new here - need to gain weight

Hi, I hope it is fine if I post a question. Would very much appreciate feedback. Thanks.

I'm a 30 year old female. Very low weight. I've been low weight in the past and was hospitalized for a few months at age 24 (it was the result of more unintentional neglect due to some depressing events in my life). That experience was horrible and I was force-fed really bad food and had to sit all the time. Very degrading because I felt I was very stereotyped in that particular setting and location.

I was low weight again a couple years later because I'm naturally small and it just...happened.. Not sure how or why. But I forced myself to gain weight over only 2 months. The result was a lot of weight gain, which I was fine with at first, but later became guilty feeling for such extreme measures (gaining fast versus "slow and appropriately - whatever that really is).

SO, I'm really low again now. But this time I think its been due to a ton of IBS issues. I think that all started before the loss. Needless to say, I know there are all these "certain foods to eat or not eat" with IBS and I should be more particular (for example dairy messes with me, but I just do not want to limit or restrict things). My weight is so low, I figure I'm better off eating anything at this point.

Very terrified I will be hospitalized again because my BMI is so low that I can legally be put away (despite my age). And that could be MONTHS of being in hospital again. I have done no exercise for the last 2 years, and really regret not having tackled this weight issue better much earlier. I just sit all day long. Can that really be good? Really? I walk once or twice, that's it.

I''m seeing a gastroenterologist about the bad bowels I've had for 3 years now. Plus I get severe left abdominal side stitches, and heartburn in my chest. I did a bunch of blood tests, a **** abdominal ultrasound, and an ECG - and I'm worried that my doctor will put me away or stereotype me when she gets the results. Although my BP and heartbeat were fine when she checked me randomly.

I just want to stay at home and be able to gain by myself. I've done the hospital thing and it was useless and traumatic (for me ...NOT for everyone...Just for me). Plus I want to have more than stale bread, fake margarine, and oatmeal and chicken that's been sitting overnight in plastic containers, etc.

Is it really okay if I way increase the dairy?

Plus, I know all about refeeding syndrome. So I figure if I increase by 200 cals every 5-6 days, I should be "safe". But I hear that you should really initially gain on HIGH protein, LOW carb, in order to avoid re-feeding. So, should I avoid grains more?

I add protein powders to my drinks and yogurts. I admit I've been avoiding the grains, but have recently added back in some oats, crackers, and tortillas. Is that too much carbs (can I just add in more granola and bake some nice recipes?) and still keep up the protein? Or should I really keep carbs and grains to a minimum?

I would really appreicate your thoughts. I've been to a few nutritionists and its annoying how each of them have vastly different opinions. If anything, they've served to only make me more obsessive, restrictive, or inclined to orthorexia.

I think I have a ton of questions. A friend told me this forum was a nice and supportive place and you all seem nice.
thanks for any help. I'll add more questions later.

Hi! I'm new here too, just started yesterday!

First of all, I think its good you don't want to be hospitalized - you can totally accomplish this on your own, and besides, you will feel way more empowered knowing you did! ;D

Secondly, you said dairy seemed to be messing you up with IBS, right? So increasing dairy wouldn't be a good way of increasing the kcals. If you want to increase kcals with a drink, I would recommend coconut milk - the canned type or  you can make it yourself from fresh coconut. Its loaded with HEALTHY fats. If you really wanna have some dairy, though, I think some aged cheeses might be okay because they tend to have less lactose.  Cheese could also help increase your kcals.

Yes, protein is very good, especially for rebuilding any muscle you have lost. Eat lost of good, quality proteins. Also, eat fats like monounsaturated and saturated. Saturated fat really isn't as bad as most people make it out to be, trust me. But I do believe monounsaturated is the best. Avocados are great for this.

Carbs will help with weight gains. Oats are great, and so are beans, and just try to eat carbs that have been minimally processed - the more natural, the better. I don't think you should avoid them, though. When you reach a healthy weight, maybe you can try cutting back some grains if you really want, and see how your weight reacts. If you lose weight when you cut back some grains, you will just have to accept the fact that your body needs more carbs to maintain. Everyone is different in this aspect.

Fruits and veggies should be added as well.

I also recommend taking a daily multivitamin and fish oil capsule.

Good luck! You can do it girl! ;D