Weight Gain
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trying to fatten up my husband......


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so this sounds bad, but i need to find a way to fatten up my husband. he wants to gain weight and really needs to but he has an awesome metabolism level and has always been this way. when ever someone says "wow look how skinny you are" it really affects him , but typical guy wont admit it. i tried to talk to him about it and tell him we can go to a nutritionalist and stuff but hes too "proud" to ask for help. he doesnt go to the gym but he is in construction and really is in good shape. but needs to add weight and muscle mass. i am going to sneak and help him so that he doesnt know, then he cant let pride get in way. i need advice on how to do this.

and i work nights (and trying to lose a lot of weight) so it works out cuase i can make a totally separate dinner for him than what i eat. so he will never know that im going out of my way. i just wnat him to feel better about himself.

Edited May 11 2013 11:43 by coach_k
Reason: locked to prevent unnecessary zombie bumps
11 Replies (last)

The first thing is to say that you can't fatten someone up any more than you can slim someone down without their cooperation.   You can't trick them into it or sneak food on them.  Gaining weight when someone is obviously very active, requires a great deal of planning and execution.  Your husband, I'm guessing, is going to need 4500+  cals a day, every day for weeks and weeks if he's to have the spare energy needed to bulk up.  This isn't going to be achieved by making him a separate dinner, realistically.   He's going to need to think long and hard about how he gets 1000 cals at breakfast, lunch, supper and 1000-2000 cals of snacks in between.  He's going to have to make mealtimes top priority.  All kinds of things that mean active engagement.

It's nice of you to want to help him but he has to take responsibility for his own health and happiness....  Otherwise, you'd have to conclude that he's not really as bothered about it as you think.

 

lots of nuts, healthy fats, protein, choose like the opposite of what you would eat, plenty of rice and such. Make him breakfast and stuff as well. Pack him some snacks too.

I think he will know that you are bulking up the food, and if he is anything like my skinny husband, he won't be able to fit it all in.

 

it will be like an episode of supersize vs super skinny.... lol

It almost seems like you're just jealous of him. Just let him be! Men are typically thinner and have faster metabolisms, especially if he's a manual worker like your guy is!

It's not a healthy mindset to want to "fatten someone up". If he is healthy and happy that should be all that matters to you. I doubt that making him gain weight will make him feel any better about himself than he does now.

I dont think it is necessarily jealousy, but perhaps not the healthiest mindset for her... Here is my reasoning, if you care more about him gaining weight than he does, then you are obessed with what could be, and that is a good way to wreck a relationship.

I used to try to get my husband to gain weight, when I was thinner. I always thought he would feel better that way, or atleast that is what I told myself. Maybe I was too fixated on muscles.

 

But after I had my baby and gained all of this weight, he never once was mean to me, or told me I would be better if I was x weight. He accepted me, for who I was, and even now as I lose weight he supports me so much.


I know part of it is because you want the best for him, but maybe think hard about why you want to do it.

My boyfriend needs to gain weight, and I am trying again to lose weight,  so what we are doing is this:

1. He eats 3/4s to my 1/4.  So if I make four eggs, he gets three.  If we go out, we order one meal to split, and we split it this way. 

2.  I set my cellphone alarm for every three hours.  I am only allowed to eat every three hours: he is reminded to eat every three hours.  He just has a hard time remembering food until he becomes dramatically hungry, and I have a hard time remembering to eat ONLY when I am hungry.

3.  I add extra fat/protein to his portion of the meal (cheese, nuts, avocado, even healthy oil.)

We've just started, but so far it is working quite well.   Of course, we both also share a goal so it is not so much "sneaking" as helping each other out.

 

 

 

i think my point got lost in translation. im not trying to change him for me. in fact, i like that he is skinny. it has NOTHING to do with image at all.

he expresses concern, as the doctor also has about him gaining weight. but it doesnt seem to work becuase he doesnt stick to it.

as far as him making breakfast and eating more throughout the day, the only way he would do that is if the stuff is in the lunch box. call it old fashioned but i get up every mronign with him and make his lunch for the day. so its up to me to know what to put in there. if its in the box, he will eat it.

again. this has NOTHING to do with image at all! and i am certainly not jealous of him (well maybe i am but im jealous of all skinny people at this point, lol) but i am definitely not doing this against his will.

hes a "keep it inside" guy so when i talk to him about it, or if the doctor talks to him about going to nutrionalist, he puts it off. not cause he doesnt want to go, but because hes lazy.

sorry that my words were taken wrong.

I think you're sweet wanting to help.

Working in more calories is the only way to gain.  Construction burns a ton of calories and it's tough because you can't stop to have a snack every so often.  So pretty much you need a big breakfast and a big lunch.

What kind of lunch do you normally make for him?  What does he like to eat?

hes a sandwich eater. he loves sandwiches. and breakfast usually cant sit down and eat so its gotta be something packed with calories. he likes granola bars, and bagels and stuff. dinners are gonna be the big ones. and he can snack thru the day. hes a smoker, so if he would have a snack when he goes to have a butt that would help too (though quitting smoking would be nice too)

any suggestions?

the HIGHEST cal sandwiches I make are the large flatbread wraps, like lebanese bread. Stacks of high cal filling stuff in it, and salad too.

Potato salad, nuts (6 brazil nuts is 138 cals!) pasta salad, avocado, cheese, mayo, haha Dried fruit, instead of juice with breakfast give him a shake, and pancakes with syrup, and breaded things.

haha I laugh because I am just trying to put the opposite of what I eat. Lots of high cal veggies like peas and corn. Dont bulk up on the low cal stuff.

drizzle his food with a little extra virgin olive oil after its cooked (essential fatty acids)

im not gonna lie. that all sounds so good. this is gonna be harder than i thought.

one bite for you - two for me. HAHAHA

Original Post by jessanderson105:

 

he expresses concern, as the doctor also has about him gaining weight. but it doesnt seem to work becuase he doesnt stick to it.

 This is the problem.... I know you mean well but he has to decide this time that he's going to 'stick to it'.   If he's constantly deferring the responsibility to someone else (you) and not really taking control then it isn't going to happen.   You see it all the time with men supposed to be on healthier diets ..... there's the wife dutifully preparing healthy meals at home and filling hubby's lunchbox with healthy snacks - and there's hubby slinging the lunchbox contents in the bin and joining his pals for steak, chips and a few beers at lunchtime.

So your husband - whether arrangements in your house are old-fashioned or not - has to start taking the lead in this.  He should play a bigger part in devising the menu even if you're the one buttering the bread.  Be responsible for making time for those extra snacks when he's working.  Only be being actively engaged is he going to make a difference to himself.   Otherwise, everything he's currently doing is shouting 'I can't be bothered'

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