5' 6"-7" is a wonderful height to be - I just love it; and 122 is just about perfect too!
What saddens me about this post is that you have youth, a perfect size and shape, but you are so very unhappy and eating disordered.
Of course 1,400 isn't a 'binge' - it is below the absolute minimum calorie requirement of a completely sedentary, obese teen trying to lose weight. 600 is starvation on an anorexic level. Fasting for days on end is frankly insane - particularly at your age. Where are your family? Can you not tell them about all this?
You can only have 'control' by eating enough in the first place. You need to start eating at LEAST 2,000 calories a day, every day - more if you exercise, and TALK to an adult you can trust - parent/teacher/school nurse - tell them how you feel, and get some help to see how fabulous you are, right as you are now!!
What? Food's "just not for me until I am thiner [sic] and deserve to maintain that weight..." and " I do not wish to speak to anyone in case they try to take my control away..."? Those statements are both very disordered.
Why isn't food for you? We all need food to, you know, survive. You're "binging" (I use quotations because the amount you're eating is NOT a binge) because you're trying to restrict so severely. Your body is trying to tell you something but you don't want to change. That is also disordered.
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Original Post by sarahdocjdnszkv:
Firstly, I do not see myself as eating disordered as I am only aiming to be thiner and happier (1). I see food in a healthy way, it's just not for me, until I am thiner and deserve to maintain that weight rather than lose more(2). I do not wish to speak to anyone in case they try to take my control away or mock me and cause me hurt(3). Your comments are kind thank you x
(1) As someone who suffered from an ED from age 14 to 42, (yes, that's 28 years) I can tell you absolutely that being a certain weight will NEVER make you happy. You are better than just a number on a scale! You need to be happy with who, and what you are - losing X number of pounds won't do this.
(2) 'I see food in a healthy way, it's just not for me until...' Sweetie, this in itself is a very UNhealthy way to see food. We all 'deserve' food!! Food is fun, as well as vital to life; icecream and pizza are particularly good!!
(3) I am so sorry that you don't feel anyone would listen sympathetically to you, or be of help. How about a friend's Mum, or an older cousin, or something? These feelings you have are too much top handle on your own!
Seriously, you are going to make yourself very ill if you carry on with what you are doing. Please get some help.
I stumbled across your post and even though I am not in your position, I think the outlook I have adopted will work for most people.
I do not diet, follow any fads... I simply input all I eat into Calorie Count, and try and keep it to a max 2200 calories a day. I came up with that number as I figured out what I would like to weigh and then figured out how many calories it would take to maintain that.
I eat to most people seems like ALLOT! But I make really wise choices... and low calorie foods, like vegetables, but still a balanced diet, of proteins, carbs, fats... but I do not micro manage each intake.
I know it is tough to hear people tell you that your height and weight is great and you should be happy with yourself... but if you are not happy that is what needs to change. I as well think you need to find SOMEONE to talk to, does not have to be family, just someone that you can maybe talk it through.
I will tell you that 600 calories a day is not good. One thing that you may or may not know, is that when you eat too few of calories... your body goes into a starvation mode and you will not lose fat... you may see the scale drop some, but you are losing muscle. That is not a good thing.
I am not sure how active you are, but I do know this... Eating a healthy balanced diet and exercising regularly is the only way to lose/maintain or even gain weight and be healthy.
It is tough to not like your body, hell I have been there, I hate mine right now, but I know eating healthy and exercising makes me look and feel better and that is all that matters. Each day that passes of me eating well and exercising I know I am getting closer than the day before at feeling comfortable in my own body. One day at a time!
There are far too many people selling books, videos, foods and pills that for the most part are BULLS@#t!
I used to live to eat, but now I eat to live! I know that putting a lot of preprocessed foods in my body is not good for me, and the fewer the ingredients the better.
Feel free to give me a shout if anything I said makes sense... I am not an expert, but have tried and failed so many times, but this time it is different, it is all about making simple changes and you pick up a momentum when you see changes in your body and have so much more energy. I am doing this with my wife and we are both on the same page... it is a simple concept, but it works.
You just need to find what works best for you.
Well, keep it up and you could die... all control problems solved.
Or you could increase your calories to a healthy level to end the binge/restrict cycle.
Eating disorders are not just unhealthy. Of all of the diagnosable mental disorders, they have one of the highest mortality rates (and not just due to the damage caused by starvation/purging but also because of suicide).
You should talk with your doctor... living with an eating disorder is hell and not worth the pain it brings. I suffered with anorexia for almost 5 years and I honestly wish I took recovery more seriously than I did at first.. It wasn't until I recovered that I realized how much my life had been consumed by it. Please, go seek help before it's too late.