Weight Loss
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Creepy Comments


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40 pounds lost is a big accomplishment and I feel great.  However, I had a very creepy run-in with someone today.  This guy I work with, my superior, stopped me in the hallway and told me (while he was looking me up and down), that I look "hot" along with some other random comments.  I felt completely uncomfortable. 

The funny thing is that a woman I work with returned from a three week vacation yesterday and she came right up to me, put her hands around my waist and told me that I looked great.  Even my best friend slapped me on the butt and told me that I was losing it.  I'm not sure if the creepy feeling was becuase the comment came from a man, or because he was my superior.  Either way, I felt it was inappropriate.  I'm not sure if anyone else has had an issue like this, but I'd love to hear it!

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Well that is what HR is for, if you want to go that route.

I get this a lot. The other day I was out for a walk and i got followed by some strange guy for a whole hour, talking about how he wanted to see me naked, how beautiful our kids would look like, and asked me really personal questions.

In hindthought, I should have called the cops on him, but at the time I was too freaked out.

My friends do make comments, nothing as creepy as the one before though, thankfully.

Talk to your HR department.  Your boss has absolutely no business creeping you out.

It might have been creepy, but you should feel good about it!! At least you look hot! haha

I do agree with you though, that he should have been more appropriate if he wanted to compliment you on your weight loss. Something along the lines of  "good job on your weight loss" would have probably been better.

Congrats on your weight loss nonetheless!

Creepyness is in the tone of voice and the way the comment is made.

I would ignore the "creep" and keep losing!  40 pounds is a really signficant accomplishment!

Don't let obviously harrassing comments get you down.

Umneydurak, the guy is either crazy or extremely stupid because I am the Manager of Human Resources, LOL!  I will address the issue with him personally after I cool down a bit.  It's just strange because I am not used to unwanted male attention like that (well except from my husband)!.

Maybe he didn't mean to creep you out, not sure what type he is normally, but it's my experience that sometimes the "suits" have no social skills, and he was really just trying to be nice.   REGARDLESS, he needs to know it was inapproriate.  The next time he does this to someone, he could be facing a sexual harrasment suit.  

Hmm. I would be way more creeped out by a coworker putting her hands on my waist. Touching, especially in an intimate way like that, is way more inappropriate than a "hot" comment in my books.

If you were not offended by that and yet WERE offended by a simple comment, I think it is good that you are questioning why you feel that way. I guess it does have a lot more to do with tone and the feeling of the situation, but I am glad you are trying to figure that out rather than just automatically calling "harassment".

 tciherr

let me tell you about my experience which is similar to yours.

When I was losing weight last year, a coworker came and put her hands around my waist and told me that I look great. I freaked out when another coworker told me that I look way too thin and maybe unhealthy so they might get rid of me.

a third one told me several times that he is jealous....

I hate them till today and will never forget them. I need this job so I am still here but once I will find another one, i will quit that hell.

needless to say, I have gained 40 pounds out of stress and anxiety.

 

It is all about who and how.   I would feel perfectly comfortable with most of my female coworkers touching me as you described.  Most, not all.  It all depends on my relationship with them  Becuase even though it is work, it is also a big portion of my life and one cannot help but develop a personal relationship on one level or another with the people they work with. 

But regardless of how relaxed and casual your work place may be, a superior in the company must be very careful in how he or she comments about an employees personal appearance.   The fact that the person has a certain amount of power over an important aspect of your life can make even a casual comment feel intimidating.  

It is good to stop yourself from the kneejerk reaction.  It is also good to adress the issue with him later.  With a witness.

Sorry, but that's completely inappropriate for a superior of the opposite sex especially to tell you you're looking hot, etc.

I've had some people comment on my weight loss. One was a man who said, "Have you lost weight?" When I said, "A little." He said, "I could tell. You look good."

He said this in a totally non-creepy, just trying to compliment me kind of way and I felt fine with it. However, if he had been totally "checking me out" and then said I looked hot, I would have been freaked out.

I think you should talk to him about that being an inappropriate way to mention someone's weight loss or apperance.

Agree that his comments were inappropriate. Agree that you got creeped out. Agree that your gut instinct (getting creeped out) is probably right on the mark.

HOWEVER, I personally suggest you wait before running to HR. If it happens again, you can choose to let him know you don't appreciate the comments or go to HR. But it may be a one-shot thing that wasn't intended to be as creepy as it was. Or, the guy could be a creep.

In terms of your weight loss - good for you. Keep up the good work. And take the comments (even the creepy ones) as a sign that you are making positive changes in your life.

Not reporting a creep can cause just as many problems.  Not necessarily for you, although the arguement can certainly be made that if you failed to mention that the initial advances were creepy how could he know that additional advances would be unwelcome.  My concern is more with all the other women who don't know how to handle men who get creepy because they are somewhat borderline and are afraid that if they make a complaint that there will be retribution or that other men will start harassing them.

13 Replies
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