Curvey women or stick thin women?

I put this in my journal, but I just wanted other people's opinion.

People say men want something to grab hold of, they like a woman with curves.  So why is it that every man I know goes on about women who are stick thin?  Every thin, female customer they see, they lust over.  Never over a woman with "curves"  And what's worse is they talk to me about them.  It's "Wow she's fit isn't she? wow look at her behind"  It does my head in.

When I was thinner (too thin really for me) I got loads of attention from the opposite sex and now I get none (none that I notice anyway)

So I think that maybe people only say men like women with "curves" because they think it will help stop women getting eating disorders.  I don't think they really mean it.

This is true, this has turned into a male bashing topic....Personally i admit that I do get angry...not at men but at us women....when we go out we check out other women more than we check men out...we compare ourselves and wish we can be as pretty or as thin.....our insecurites have made us strive for the more thinner body and when we get there we still dont like ourselves....we blame men because we see these women that we look at, with men we consider attractive and we see these attractive men all around looking at these women and we become more hateful of ourselves and men and these thin women...we hate these thin women but yet we are working so hard to look like them...i dont blame anyone for the way I feel and except for myself.....I dont like me....but it's because I compare myself to everyone else without excepting who I am.

zeke said: We're hard wired to like curves. It sends certain signals to our brains.

lol! i agree. sounds like something my bf (meat_pillow) would say... i think it depends alot on the individual guy, how old they are, and what they are looking for.

Why are we all on here losing weight if it's a bunch of man bashing or bashing the skinny women?  Isn't the goal to be happy/healthy and therefore skinny(ier)?

Kudos to Roj for playing the devils advocate.

I have to agree that there is no need to bash men in here for liking skinny girls. Some men like curvy girls. Some men like huge girls. Different strokes for different folks. It works the other way too. Some girls like skinny boys, some like athletic, some like love handles.

I think we are trying to further the stereotype that men think with their hooha rather than their brain, and that they will choose the skinny, attractive air head with big boobs over someone with curves and an IQ over 70. Sure SOME men would. Some women would too. SOME women would also choose to be with a man due to the size of his bank account rather than the size of his heart.

The fact is though that the average person does not fit into those stereotypes of shallow men and golddiggers. SUre a guy may pay attention to a thin girl in a skimpy outfit who's sending out all the signals...he's human...but I'm guessing that if she doesn't have the personality to back it up it's not likely to get too serious. Likewise a woman may pay attention to a buff italian with a great smile...but if he's a jerk she's not likely to marry him (hopefully).

The point that I'm trying to make is that we all make judgements based on the physical. We also make choices based on more substantial things. The fact of the matter is that the physical is the first thing we can assess about a person.

Hi Everyone new here and I just had to post on this topic being a curvy woman myself I can honestly say guys are attracted to what we as women put out there. If we don't celebrate out curves by being confident, outgoing, and knowing we all that then what guy is going to think that? Yes there are some men out there that tend to gravitate towards my skinny sisters but hey it's there preference but believe me our smaller sisters have there hang ups too. I have a niece who is naturally skinny (actually 20lbs underweight) and she longs for my curves because people are always assuming she's bulminic or aneroxeric when she is just naturally skinny.

There are men out there who do like women with curves and there are those who like women without curves it's just there preference. But we also must realize there are those guys (and women) who never graduated from high school and will never admit to like a plus size woman for fear of being teased by there friends and the same can be said for women.

At present I am 5'3 and a size 18/20 (lost 60lbs this year) but when I was a size 26/28 I felt just as sexy! I wear my 3-5 inch stillettos, body hugging outfits, short skits, low cuts shirts and wear my diva wigs and I always think I am one RED HOT SEXY MAMA and because I think so men pick up on it. I really believe in Mo'nique's creed!

So HelenC the next time your friend starts fawning over a smaller sister in your presence give him the reply that Ethel Waters gave Lena Horne in the movie Cabin in the Sky (paraphase) "yeah she may be hot but I'm so hot that Smokey the Bear has asked me not to go into the forest so no fires would be started"

I don't think that "curves" means "overweight".  I would say that if you would have two women, one stick thin size 4, let's say, and one curvy, voluptuous 6 or 8... those are what I pictured when I read this topic.

If you're gonna ask about a choice between stick thin & overweight... that's a different question.

But you said curvy. 

I would imagine men, as a total generalization, would pick curvy.

And yes, the complete picture is sooo important - the personality & confidence. 

Not everyone is on here to be stick thin... Some are here to be thinner for health.

That being said, I think that some men like women who are very thin, some men like women are very thin with large breasts and hips, some men like girls who are athletic, some who are curvy, some who are a little bit bigger, some like a belly, some like just an ass, some like just big boobs and yes, some men even like a girl who is much larger than the average ideal...

And the same variances in personal preference go for women too. Some body types will have more of a following because of the whole nature and nurture thing... that's a given. But what does it matter? Is it really so awful to want to be physically attracted to someone before pursuing any kind of relationship with them? Why is wrong for some people to admire a certain body type over another?

I prefer a slim build on a man... not skinny, not lanky, but I don't like the whole buff muscular build. I like trim, muscular and I've only dated men or oggled men who had that build. Is anyone going to call me out and say I'm a shallow, selfish bitch for only wanting to have relationships with men I'm attracted to?

If people would get over their hang-ups and focus on being healthy, well-rounded individuals who loved themselves and knew what they wanted and what they were looking for, I can assure you that we would all find people that fit our bill and that we would fit theirs.

Girls, the whole time you're being snotty and pissy about some guy drooling over another girl wearing smaller pants than you, there's a fantastic guy who thought your bodacious ass was fine and was considering coming over to talk to you... until he caught a look of your scowling, miserable face.

"yeah she may be hot but I'm so hot that Smokey the Bear has asked me not to go into the forest so no fires would be started"

HA! THat's my new motto!

It did take a turn towards "battle of the sexes' didn't it :)
Weeell, let's steer it back. I agree that you shouldn't judge people on what they prefer. To each their own, and Different strokes for different folks ~ i like that coz it rhymes ^^. So anyway, I never intend to sound like bashing men who like skinny gals (... I am considered skinny already though not stick thin, so I am not complaining ^_^ ). I say just people shouldn't be hypocritical about it - men or women alike. I mean we are here to get skinnier, or to get in a better shape, for whatever reason, right?

Now, to go back to OP
...maybe people only say men like women with "curves" because they think it will help stop women getting eating disorders.  I don't think they really mean it.
Nah, I really don't think others' eating habit matters to people who said that. Then again, the definition of 'curves' in that phrase is pretty loose.

The vast majority of guys like curves, I personally am one of them but I do have a buddy that likes the skinny look but I donâ??t get it.  Now curves does not mean fat, big difference, for me curves is Jennifer Love Hewitt, she is a perfect example of what curves are all about ;) , she is fit but still has a little in all the right places if ya know what I mean.

Yeh-- Really, really thin people | think, are attractive sometimes.

`An there's a big difference to meh` between fat or "curvy". >.<

|'m not really curvy. |'m just "regular looking." `An | hate looking "regular". So |'m going to lose some more weight because of that.

It definitely has a lot to do with your geographical location. For instance, this is a rather simple example, but I live in California. The blonde, big-boobed, pancake-butt look is all the rave and at least 80% of my guy friends slobber all over themselves when it comes to these women. However, my current boyfriend hails from Texas in the south and down there it's ALL about the curves (especially when it comes to the lower regions). He can't stand the stick women and neither can any of his other Air Force buds from the south.

Actually, the other night I was complaining about my curves and he started talking about this culture/image battle going on between the south and everyone else..

lol, the pancake butt is actually the 'in' thing somewhere? 

I think everyone has their preferences and the older you get, the more those physical preferences seem to matter less...it's about attraction to the whole person.  I assured my hubby that when I lose weight, I will still have something to grab onto but just look better, he doesn't like stick skinny and he's really skinny.

And in regards to regions, I now live in Indiana (where we're up there on the high list for having overweight people).  I am skinnier than many people around me, but back home (New Hampshire), I'm just plain old fat compared to the woman there and that's where I grew up and that's the mental attitude I developed which is why I have a hard time accepting myself at my current weight, plus I'm not healthy right now.  (for reference, I'm a size 16 currently).

On top of that, I noticed if I feel confident (no matter what weight), guys will notice, not all guys, but one is all it takes to think...hmmm, that guy just checked me out!

maybe the problem comes into it when fat women need/want another label to describe themselves because 'fat' has such a negative connotation and so they use words like 'curvy' 'fluffy' 'juicy' and 'voluptuous' when really, they're fat

meanwhile, men and thin women, oblivious to the slow, painful social death that fat women experience so frequently, say 'curvy' to mean 'fit but with big boobs and butt'.

so it's a communication problem - different meanings for the same word...

and it will be obvious to a fat woman that there's a discrepancy when thin women and thin women with big boobs and butts get all the male attention

I'm fat, btw. Very fat. Just so there's no confusion...

round is a curvy shape, but mostly, men only like big round boobs and butts, not big round whole women (though some do... obviously)

=)

I'd have to say I like more of the curvy side.  Not that the girl has to have curves, but I'm not really into stick thin either.  I dont really have a certain type I have to have or a certain type i will definitely ignore.

Curvy like Halle Berry and Jessica Simpson are beautiful but skinny women like Jennifer Aniston is hot too. I think it's the way you carry yourself!

First time poster:

I read a study years ago and all the men I have discussed it with at any length feel it has merit. The study concluded that men are most attracted to a female with a .76 or less hip to waist ratio.

Waist / Hips =<.76

I am not in anyway condoning anything, but I know it works for me.

hmm... but do you have to have the chest to balance that out? or it doesn't matter if women are pear-shaped? just curious :)

Yep, I think nomo has it. Men, in general, don't like 'fat chicks'  ..however there really are some who do. FA's are a little discussed topic on these boards, which I find quite interesting.

jayd:

I think reasonably proportional is enough, but other's mileage may vary.