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Derailed in 3 days...support?


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Why is it that three little days can throw off an entire healthy diet?

I was doing really well and got down to 126.8lbs (goal was about 126 or 125 so I was really happy!) .  Then my boyfriend came down to visit me in Miami, and I figured I'd postpone the diet just for those small 3 days he was down there.  I ate about the same for breakfast and lunch, just had some cuban meals w/ delicious desserts and some wine and such for dinner.

Problem was, this was about 3 weeks ago...and I haven't been able to get back on track yet.  I have more days where, at dinner, I just grab a dessert without even thinking.  Or I go back for a bowl of cereal (I'm sure tacking on at least 300-400calories worth of sugary carbs).  It started out b/c I just wasn't feeling satisfied on my smaller food diet afterwards...but it just went way out of control. 

Now I'm at about 130.5...not bad, and still w/in the healthy range...but I'm only 5'3", so those 3 or 4 lbs really make a dramatic difference on me!

Anybody experience this?  How on earth do I get back on track?  I really need a good strategy (I'll be facing this again when I go to his house for Thanksgiving...there's just no way i'm 'dieting' on thanksgiving!  and same for when I'm home for winter break..) help!

Thanks :)

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Boy do I have a history of this so I can very relate to you.  Unfortunately my 3 weeks turned into damaging months. 

The big deal is to contain it and these holidays coming up arent the best timed.  I think it could help if you find a support thread here where you can check in - that can help with accountability.  Im on a southbeach thread and the support has kept me going.  Plus you sound awfully close to maintenance and there is a whole maintenance forum.  Good luck and if youd like, your welcome on our southbeach thread.  Not everyone there is on SB either.
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jazzislove, I am absolutely in the same boat. The same thing you are describing has happened to me multiple times, and each time it gets more and more discouraging. The first time was last spring... I was down to 145 from 164, and then went on vacation to Mexico. I didn't want calorie counting to ruin my trip, so I just let myself have a good time, and knew that I would see the consequences, but I told myself it would be alright so long as I got right back on track after the trip. Well... that didn't happen. At the end of the school year in May, I was back up to 150. As you said, it doesn't sound like much, but for us shorties (I'm 5'2") you can certainly see a difference.

So... I started over. Was doing well at first because I was still at school and making my own choices about food and exercise without any outside pressure to eat. Then I got home for the summer and it was difficult to make healthy choices when surrounded by my family (home for me is the Midwest, my school is on the East Coast -- I find it much easier to be healthy at school, where attitudes about food are much different). Anyway, by the end of the summer, I was up to 154. Back at school I was doing great again... slow but steady loss, down to 145. Then my family came to visit for a weekend, and now I am struggling to get back on track. Last time I weighed I was back at 150, but I'm not sure how much of that is weight from fat or from water because I am now stuck in a cycle of good days, followed by days of major over-eating. It seems like every week I find another excuse to overeat and "start over tomorrow"... like today, for instance, I justified it because it is Halloween. Overall, I guess I still weigh less today than I did when I first began at 164; but it has been two steps forward, one step back for me.

Anyway... what I'm trying to say, is I know where you are coming from. As I was writing this, I realized that I seem to be making a lot of excuses, when it is really me making the same mistakes over and over again. I should really begin to hold myself more accountable. I wish I could offer some better advice, but I am struggling with the same thing myself. You're not alone.
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THAT TOTALLY HAPPENED TO ME!!! my hubby was in iraq and he came home on leave and i went completely off my diet b/c it was a big celebration, there was so much family around, I have emotional issues with food, whatever. Anyway, he went back and it took me a while to get back on it and then when he came home for good it was OVER. I started keeping different foods in the house, stuff i never had while he was gone, because he liked it and i was so happy to have him home that i wanted to spoil him.

I gained over 15 lbs in the two years since he got back and I am only just now getting back on the diet, after having talked with him extensively about the fact that my metabolism doesn't work like his and when i say i'm over my calorie count and i can't go out to dinner with him, he has to respect that. and also that we can't have soft batch cookies in the house.

It's hard in a relationship with a person you eat meals with, especially where the idea of even worrying about calories is completely foreign to the other person.

sun123: Thank you :)  I've thought about and sort of tried some of the threads before, but for some reason just checking in doesn't really help me :(  I tend to not want to even weigh myself b/c I don't like to get zero-ed in on dieting to the point where my mind is always on food and I end up really over-eating...but this kind of support is good, so thank you again :)

babwa: I feel your pain, and it's good to know I'm not alone! It's hard to get back from that care-free attitude of food.  Alas, I clearly have no helpful advice to issue either, but goodluck on your weightloss journey :)

moosebouse: That's gotta be tough for you...and I know what you mean there too.  My boyfriend's house is full of wonderful food things and when I'm home from school, I just want to enjoy having him around again and spoil myself! haha

Thank ya'll so far!

I, too, have derailed several times in the last four years.  The worst part is that it's so easy to slip back into the same bad habits, and deep down you can remember how hard it is to break those habits, and you don't want to start all over again.

The best way, for me, is to begin my routine slowly.  Exercise is crucial for my diet (because for me it's not just about being a certain weight, but it's about being able to run and jump and skip and dance without having to worry about my knees and lower back, which weaken quickly when I'm inactive) -- So I start by walking.  One 15 minute walk in the morning isn't going to kill me, right?  And then, when I start feeling like I can handle that, I start tacking on the minutes until I'm up to an hour or more ...> getting on an elliptical machine ...> going to an aerobics class ...> weight training ...

And at the same time, I alter my eating habits.  Slowly.  One meal at a time.  And once you can handle the one meal, add on a healthy snack.  And when you've got that down, see if you can't start being more conscious about two meals every day.  So what if it takes you two or three months until you're consistently eating healthily?  You've got your whole life ahead of you.

I find that, when I take it slowly, I find it more difficult to slide.  And when I do slide, I slide more slowly.  Ever see that movie "What about Bob?"  "Babysteps to the treadmill ..." :) 

Sarah: thanks :)  Slowly sounds like a good idea...after all, nothing done in haste ever really lasts does it? lol.  Exercise *luckily* is not a problem for me.  I get in to the gym 6 days a week, doing cardio w/ the elliptical, rowing machine, bike, and stairs, and doing weights 3 days a week..so I've got that goin' for me at least!  Maybe all these excess calories will start going to my muscle building power...  ;) haha

I think the only meal I need to work on is dinner...that's when, a few days a week, I eat at the dining hall here on campus, and there's often good brownies there...mmmm.  and then those are the meals that are always followed by a trip to the Cstore for more snacks...bad bad bad!

I shall try starting slow.  Just one meal, no excesses.  yep.  I will attempt!

Hi, there...I too had thought I was on track (I'm 5'2" goal of 120 or so).  I was down from 137 !!!!!!  to 131 on Monday.  So thrilled!!  Then I got on the scale each day after and went up one pound each day...no reason, no logic.  I must admit that I don't exercise, though...wish I had time, but I have my own biz, work as a consultant for non-profits and health orgs and have two kids.  My time for the workout is a "wish" for now.

Are you finding that you are back on track again?  I went out for lunch today, very bad, and had a crappy, high carb, high cal dinner with the kids.  But, sometimes thats enough to get me into gear again and kick the crappy food habit.  I don't really want any sweets (pie, cookies, brownies, etc) but salty foods like Sea Salt potatoe chips and bread w/butter are my big downfalls!!

Thanks for being honest and up front...I think it's good to hear that sometimes we all have a lil' devil on our shoulders telling us to "eat up!!!!".

Good luck, girl! PS: If it makes you feel any better, the biggest weight gain I ever had was when I was in post-secondary and so things are bound to look up for you since you are conscious of what's going on with your health.

LL

I have done the exact same thing, but no vacation involved, no visiting boyfriend nothing. . .I just want to eat!!!! One thing I have learned, it is going to happen, don't beat yourself up about it. . .climb right back up on that calorie counting thing and do it again. . .the best news is  if you did it once you can do it again

jazzislove you did it already!!! We have to say no to the deserts as good as they look. . .push that thing away!!!! I wanted to eat that Butter Finger candy so bad last night. . .but I just threw it away!!! Sometimes I will put them in the frig and leave it for when I deserve it.   Really. . . .relax you didn't do anything wrong, you just ate . . .we all do it!!!! Good Luck!!!  

For me, it has a lot to do with how you "frame" what happened.  When I was trying to quit smoking, and "fell off the wagon", I framed it as a failure.  Told myself I blew it, and started to smoke again.  This last time, I handled it differently.  If I smoked, I just said to myself, it's ok, this isn't what you want to do tomorrow.  I reminded myself of my commitment to a healthier llife style and all the benefits of that choice.  I don't know if this psychology has any relevance for you, but it has really helped me to stay away from smoking 99% of the time.  I don't expect perfection of myself now.  You know you have the power to make good healthy food choices, and you know it yields a result that makes you happier with yourself in the long run.  Decide to exercise that power....just for today.  And then repeat tomorrow and the next day, until you've re-established the new, healthier habit.  Good luck!

I did the same thing for roughly the first 6 mos of this year. Over the course of about a year, I had lost about 80 lbs and was at a pretty good weight, 195 lbs. We moved to a new apartment, and I decided to take a break from counting. I tried doing it again about a month later, but got lazy and started eating more and more, making nachos and other things that remind me of home all the time, and worst of all, drinking tons of beer on the weekends, and before I knew it, I was over 230 again! I am now back down to 210, and this time I'm taking it a bit slower. I think I may have gone too fast the first time, at 1200-1300/day, so this time I'm closer to 1600/day. I don't know what to say, except - please try to pick yourself up and get back on track. I can't be too preachy, since I've done it, too. But I really want to stay on the ball PERMANENTLY this time.

Thanks guys, great responses/suggestions from all of you!

colleen:  It's not so much of a psychological thing in that sense for me...though I know it is for a lot of people.  However it is a psyschological problem for me in the sense that, on days I just don't feel good about myself in general, I eat more.  I don't feel like a failure that day, but I feel like a failure in the sense that I feel fat on those days...and thus, I eat more...b/c somehow in the back of my mind that makes sense lol.

udokier:  congrats on getting back down to 210, I think I need to learn to go slower too.  What stresses me out is when I realize I'm going to be seeing my boyfriend again in a week and I've gained about 3-4lbs since he saw me last...clearly I don't have time to get back down to that weight (and yes, it is visible on my small body).  But now he's pushed his visiting date back so I've got two weeks...which put me in a much more peaceful place lol.  Hopefully that will allow me to take it slowly and do it right now :)

Original Post by jazzislove:

Thanks guys, great responses/suggestions from all of you!

colleen: It's not so much of a psychological thing in that sense for me...though I know it is for a lot of people. However it is a psyschological problem for me in the sense that, on days I just don't feel good about myself in general, I eat more. I don't feel like a failure that day, but I feel like a failure in the sense that I feel fat on those days...and thus, I eat more...b/c somehow in the back of my mind that makes sense lol.

udokier: congrats on getting back down to 210, I think I need to learn to go slower too. What stresses me out is when I realize I'm going to be seeing my boyfriend again in a week and I've gained about 3-4lbs since he saw me last...clearly I don't have time to get back down to that weight (and yes, it is visible on my small body). But now he's pushed his visiting date back so I've got two weeks...which put me in a much more peaceful place lol. Hopefully that will allow me to take it slowly and do it right now :)

 This is not to dissuade you from watching your weight - it's a great thing to do for your health and well-being, and to fit clothes better, but please don't worry about your boyfriend.  The vast majority of us guys really wouldn't even notice an extra 5 pounds on our mates, and probably wouldn't even mind ten!  My wife has gained about 5 since we've been married, and is constantly trying to lose it, and honestly, she still looks great to me.  The only way I can even tell is that her jeans fit tighter now, but that's not necessarily a bad thing!  Work on it for yourself, not for him - he loves you for you, and just as you are, a few lbs one way or the other will make no difference. (I know this sounds like the most syrupy cliche, but it's true!)

Yeah I know I shouldn't be doing it for him.  and I'm not....really.  He's seen me about 8lbs heavier than I am now and said nothing other than compliments to me...We just kind of keep each other in check lol.  We've made an agreement that if one of us starts getting too fat as we age, we're gonna point it out! 

So, I do the weightloss thing for me, definitely.  It just helps to have a motivator there to congratulate you when you do start losing...and he's my  motivator, he sees the full-body view more than anyone else so he's pretty good at saying "yeah I can tell you lost a couple pounds!" lol

But thank you :)  I will definitely continue doing it for me, and all of my jeans I want to be able to sit comfortably in haha

Original Post by jazzislove:

Yeah I know I shouldn't be doing it for him. and I'm not....really. He's seen me about 8lbs heavier than I am now and said nothing other than compliments to me...We just kind of keep each other in check lol. We've made an agreement that if one of us starts getting too fat as we age, we're gonna point it out!

So, I do the weightloss thing for me, definitely. It just helps to have a motivator there to congratulate you when you do start losing...and he's my motivator, he sees the full-body view more than anyone else so he's pretty good at saying "yeah I can tell you lost a couple pounds!" lol

But thank you :) I will definitely continue doing it for me, and all of my jeans I want to be able to sit comfortably in haha

Good for you - you guys are a beautiful couple.  Your BF is a dead ringer for Joe Vogel, a guy in this documentary I just saw called "This Divided State" about a controversy over a Michael Moore speech in Utah.  They say everybody has a twin somewhere.  There was a republicanguy in the movie who looked exactly like Michael Moore - LOL.  Sorry for the random trivia!

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