At the end of my rope...

I can't seem to get onto the wagon and stay there. I have battled severe depression for the first time in my life over the past year. I gained 20 pounds during the process, which puts me at a sickening 50 pounds overweight. I have no energy, no motivation, and extremely low self esteem. I am not good for my family feeling this way, but I can't seem to find my way out of this hole. I am 30 years old, 5'6" tall, 215 pounds. I have isolated myself from the few friends that I have had. I have a wonderfully supportive husband, along with 2 beautiful boys (ages 2 & 9), but I can't even seem to pick myself up for them. I work full time as a psychiatric nurse... which I do pride myself in. I think the reason I succeed so much in the field is because when I am at work, I can focus on the problems of others, and not so much on my own. I need to find some way to increase my energy level, my self esteem, and stop hating myself so much. Any support is welcome. Thanks for listening.

Sounds like a really tough time for you, and I am so sorry you are going through this. Caregivers can get depressed, burned out, overstressed, just like anyone else, and with kids at home, you are asked to give care everywhere you go.

My first thought is to ask you what you would probably ask me if I came to you with this set of symptoms -- have you had a full check-up, and have you considered getting some help with your depression symptoms? As a psychiatric nurse, you have seen first hand that sometimes people need more help than they can give themselves in fighting the illness that is depression. I would urge you to consider going for some assistance-- NOT where you work! -- and see if someone can be of help.

And meanwhile, do your very best to eat clean and green -- maybe just start small with logging what you eat and trying to identify what your own diet habits are like these days. Then you can work on gradually improving your diet. (It's always been my theory that a high-sugar diet can make depression worse by jacking around with your blood sugar-- sending it high for a short while, and then having it bottom out so that you feel exhausted.)  This site is full of tools and advice.

Any small steps you take for your own health will be important and positive -- give yourself a pat on the back just for posting to this forum! I hope it will be the first step on a road toward recovery and renewal.

I'm pulling for you. 

I can identify with you. I have suffered from depression for many years. I didn't get on with any of the medication, but I have found that exercise has really worked for me. Go for a walk in the park or the countryside if you have access to it. It really works.

Build up the exercise you take. Set your self achievable targets, maybe start by going for a 15 minute walk on your lunch break. I started by taking my kids for a walk or cycle round a nearby wood, or walking them to the park.

At my worst I hardly left the house for nearly two years, now I do martial arts twice a week and strength training three times a week. I also try to do at least one of walking, cycling or swimming as often as I can at weekends and I've never felt better. I still have to push myself to do it at times, but I know that unless I keep it up it's a downhill spiral.

The hardest part is starting, but as you have a supportive husband, let him know what you want to do so he can help you take the first steps. Give it a try, I sincerely hope it works as well for you as it has for me.

I believe i understand what you're going through. Depression and resulting weoght gain (and for me anxiety) are old foes. Just wanted to add a second voice of agreement with both of the above posts.

Hey love. I think I am finally realizing that there are other people in the world that think a little and feel a little like me. I am here for ya.. I have a 1yr old.. and I am over 70lbs overweight... I am 5'9" at 247lbs... yeah.. those numbers are right.. I am considered by my dr at *severly over weight.. * thanks.. lol I have started trying to use a couple of vitamines to boost my metabolism and make me feel more energetic.. if you are interested I can share these with you and also I have tried to start using meal replacement *cookies and creme advanced formula protein shakes w skim milk* ~ must add cinnamon and vanilla to taste ok.. these are a couple of things that have made me feel a little more better about myself.. I have just started this journey.. *after quitting a million times before* but I would be glad to work with you this time and maybe we can both kick the weight buckets! Let me know!! :) definately could use a virtual friend to help support my loss and I can definatley try to help you as well! ~Rae

Hey girl. :)  I can relate to you in so many ways.  I work in the mental health field as a program coordinator dealing with long-term admissions and discharges among other things.  Like you, I excel at work for the same reasons...it's much easier to focus on others and help them than to turn that same focus on us.  Call it a job hazard..lol. :)  I'm the same height as you, @13 pounds heavier and have quite a few years on you, am a mom, and find it hard to hold it all together, so I really do know exactly how you feel.

I will echo the posts about exercising, even if it's only for 10-15 min. bursts.  Walking has been such a blessing and has really helped improve my mood and energy levels.  I've found that laying off the sugar/sweeteners and carbs helps too, as does taking a multivitamin every day. And, as others have said, do it all gradually.  I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you. :)  You have tremendous support on here along with a supportive hubby, which is awesome!  Don't be afraid to lean on him.  Won't bore you with my details, but you're lucky to have him! :)

I'm pulling for you too and you can message me anytime.  Be glad to support you as best I can.   Jo 

As someone who suffers from depression too: treat that first, and treat it now. Or at least try to. The weight loss will follow. There is absolutely no way that I could even think about losing weight in the midst of a depressive phase. I find it hard to get out of bed during those times, much less worry about nutrition and exercise. When I'm on the wagon, as it were, I find it so much easier to look after myself.

 

And good luck. xx

Hey... I am also a nurse. Needless to say I Fight bouts of depression also. W your age and new onset or new recognition of the s/s I would be concerned that about blood work to r/o Biological/metabolic concerns. I would like a CBC, CMP, and Tsh. Also, I would seek help with counseling and a physician. Good luck to you.

HeartaNurse,

You now have a new admission.  Her name is HeartaNurse.

You are waiting for labtests, etc. to rule out thyroid, early menopause,PTsd, etc., but feel you can use your skills to help move this Resident towards mental health.

You decide CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, is a good choice.

Assess,diagnose,plan, implement...

What would you say to your new admit, HeartaNurse?