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Does a fat woman looks LESS attractive in guy's eye?


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I know that this question may not really belong to this forum but it has been bugging me SOO BAD!! I'm a Thai girl (16 years old) and all the girls here are VERY skinny. I'm 16, 5 ft1 and 108 pound and I was considered chubby here. My waist is 28 inches and I'm wearing a Large shirt size. I don't know what do these people eat! I tries to eat as healthy as I can (especially when I'm in the State).

 

  Now...here is the thing. I kinda like a person who is my best friend and we talk to each other about almost everything. My friends (including that person) always call me a pig or fattie and now I got really worried. I mean..I know that that guy likes me back to and all but I'm not confidence with how I look or feel.

 

*** To all the guys who may be reading this...to you, does it matter if your girlfriend is fat? Does physical appeal (like abs or whatever) really matter to you??***

 

I know this is another stupid question but I lost weight once and got down to 102 pounds and I got this stupid ED (i hate this stuff). And now I would do anything to prevent me from thinking like that again. If you are an adult (my parents don't really talk to me abt these stuff), any suggestion?

 

Thank you so much.

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Short answer is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... Magazines like to generalise that there is one 'ideal female shape' but reality is very different.  If it weren't then there would be about 99% of us unable to find partners and 1% of supermodels successfully breeding.

Appearance and attractiveness have very little to do with each other.  A ready smile, a quick wit, kindness, sincerity, intelligence..... there are all kind of attributes that make you more or less attractive.   Some men (and women) go entirely for looks and are rather shallow but many more prefer to judge the whole person.   So be a whole person and not just a number on a scale....  Best of luck
#2  
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Yeah, there are always going to be people who judge solely on weight or appearance and this is a very shallow mindset.  However, there are tons of people who will judge you for who you really are inside and out, and that is the sort of person worth finding.

Depends, I've known beautiful fat girls and ugly skinny girls, if you're talking about "head-turning" beauty.

If you talk about "would I date" beauty, well, that's even more of a toss-up, and weight has even less of effect. Personallity, how a girl carries herself, if she's demanding, her confidence, those are all factors to be considered. And, honestly, every girl has a different "ideal weight" at which they look the best, and that really vary's on the person, adn the person making the judgement (i.e. what the guy likes)
Guys can be jerks. But not all of them. It all depends on where you look.

http://static.askmen.com/specials/2008_great_ male_survey/

Scroll down to #7 in the 'Most Interesting Answers' on the right. The dating results in general were interesting. But, sometimes it was just like "ouch". lol

you got my point...

Sorry, but did I miss something?  Did you say the guy you like calls you a pig?  Just my opinion, but to me, agonizing over your weight for someone who calls you names like that is not worth it.  I know when you're young and you like someone, it's hard to tell yourself these things and to act in your own self-interest.  But even if you did have a relationship with this guy, do you really think it would be a healthy one if he is this type of immature, name-calling person?  I personally think you should wait and find yourself someone who loves you for who YOU are, body and heart.

And by the way, 108 pounds is NOT chubby, no matter where you are in the world.  Whoever thinks so, IMO, is nowhere near boyfriend material.  I hope this post hasn't sounded harsh--I really am just looking out for you.

yeah..thinking about it...you guys are all right. It's not that I want to take anything seriously but it's just that all my friends are very nive people and they call me a pig ...not in a making-fun sense ...but just more like playing around kinda thing. It's not that I take anything personaly or seriously...just that I really want to make this guy look at me in a differnt way (not boyfriend-girlfriend thing) as a friend. And while I was thinking abuut it, this question just came out so..yeah..

 

Thank you so much though. I checked out that link of question summary from 'maiden' already..those are awsome!!

I looked at your pic and you are a very beautiful girl. No one at 5'2" and 108 pounds is fat or chubby. Any one who would call you that is cruel and not your friend. Tell them how it makes you feel and if they won't stop, let them go. No one with a history of an ED needs "friends" who call them chubby. Good luck!

you should really avoid dating a guy that refers to you as a pig. you're definitely not chubby (maybe comparatively you are, but that's really not the way to judge yourself), but even if you were, you're bf shouldn't be someone that calls you names. that's just... not healthy.

i'm not a guy, but i know it would matter to me a lot if my boyfriend was fat. i think that the people you choose to date are an extension of yourself and i would not want to be seen with someone who does not take pride and care of their appearance. but you're not fat, so i really don't think you should worry about it.

For people to call you fat or piggie are doing it to tease you. I see your pic and I think you look great. Your pretty cute! As far as people are concerned telling you that your fat I would just ignore the comment. I dont see what they are talking about. 

How big you are has less to do with it than how good a person you are.   Read anything about men and you find out quickly that what makes them decide a woman is marrage material is how they feel about themselves when the woman is with them. 

If a man is making it about what you look like then you don't want him anyway.  He will be shallow and inconsiderate your entire life.   I was 30 lbs over weight when I met my husband.  He fell in love with me.  How fat you are how pretty you are none of that matters.   As my great grandmother use to say,  Beauty is as beauty does.   Your behavior is what makes you beautiful.  Your physical appearance only matters to total strangers and people who want to make you feel bad so they can feel better about themselves.

Always remember these three things. 

Misery loves company, so if your happy and others aren't they will do their best to make you miserable even if they have to lie to you.  

 Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the core.  It doesn't matter how skinny your friends are, if they are trying to make a perfectly healthy girl feel bad about herself then their beauty is fleeting and will be replaced by the true  ugly that they show everytime they make comments like that.

You marry who you date.  Find a guy who likes you for you and you enjoy spending time with.  I married my best friend.  It was the best desision I ever made.  If you date guys who judge you by your weight then you will marry one who does.  And no woman deserves that. 

Don't let your own self esteem be harmed by people like that.  You are beautiful just the way you are and you would be beautiful if you weighed 150 lbs or even 200.  

Fat women find love just as often as skinny women.  If they didn't my aunt wouldn't be married to a guy who weighs only half what she does.

I love women. Period. I find myself attracted to girls of all shapes and sizes.

Seriously, every guys opinion is different.  So if you think that there is one hard and fast rule for every guy out there, think again, there isn't.  Everyone likes what they like.  I personally could care less whether the person I was dating was rail thin or big as a house, if I care about the person that they are their physical appearance matters little.  It would be completely possible for a girl to have a body that I considered "hot" and for me to completely hate her for the personality she had/way she treated me or other people.  In the long run, looks are not what make a relationship, its the person behind those looks that does!

NEVER EVER DATE OR LIKE ANYONE THAT CALLS YOU FAT OR PIGGY AS A JOKE. I know at 16 its tough cause appearance is really all you guys have to go on...but there are far better guys than that in the world...Youll learn to not associate with people like that. When I was 267lb my husband still thought I was the greatest thing in the world. Im 185 now...but he hasnt treated me any differently. Also if your judged soley on your appearance its a losing battle, cause all of get older more wrinkly and less taut...so you should find someone that likes your personality and you have common interests with...

#15  
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Looking around at the answers above, I kind of feel some people are trying to fool themselves in believing that they don't care about physical appearance whatsoever. You might not base your relationship on it but you can't date someone who you have no physical attraction to at all. That would make you "not human"

I will be honest in my answer. I like fit girls, certain physical characteristics appeal more to me than the rest (hair color, eyes, booty ...) not only weight matters. but obviously a relationship is not the physical side only. I won't date a girl who is super hot but can't hold a conversation or we have nothing in common, and I would date a girl who is slightly overweight but makes me laugh and makes my day better. notice I mentioned slightly overweight, I don't want to offend but if someone is way overweight I wouldn't be attracted to them. I won't treat them bad or make fun of them or belittle them like some people do but I don't see myself in an intimate relation.

The most important thing to me in a relation though is more the comfort level with the person. I don't like long talks on the phone, I don't like daily calls, I don't like pushy people, I don't like anybody to disturb my relation with my family or friends and things like that... So really I focus more on how I feel in the relation rather than some excess weight.

Now in your case, don't doubt yourself you look nice but don't settle for jerks who laugh at you amongst themselves even if it's only for fun. It seems like you need to get a whole new bunch of friends

amazighus...   No-one's claiming that appearance has zero bearing on attraction.  But what may physically attract one person to someone is not necessarily what physically attracts another.  You like 'fit girls' but the next man might not find the lean, toned look appealing at all.  The point being that there's no point us all trying to fit some standardised mould of physical appearance because everyone has their own idea of what constitutes 'beautiful'. 

  Now...here is the thing. I kinda like a person who is my best friend and we talk to each other about almost everything. My friends (including that person) always call me a pig or fattie and now I got really worried. I mean..I know that that guy likes me back to and all but I'm not confidence with how I look or feel.

 

 

 Sorry darlin, but there is something wrong with that. Real friends should NEVER call you pig or fattie, or make you feel bad about yourself at all. If anything, they should be the ones who make you feel BETTER about yourself.

Anyways, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. If this boy likes you, then there is a 99% chance that he likes the way you look too :) Also, CONFIDANCE plays an enormous role in attraction. Whatever you do, don't hide. Don't be ashamed of what you are, and beleive that you are beautiful (which from your pictures, you ARE) and other people will see it too.

Good luck hun. Hope everything turns out great :)

#18  
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First of all, you are not fat. Do not let people call you fat. I am a kinda bold person, but if I were you I would reply with a quip like, "fat is fixable, ugly isnt. Sucks for you!"

Also, you are 16. You need to focus on your education first and foremost. Dont worry about boys. Seriously, they are a distraction, and from what I have learned, completely not worth it. I am 23 and I only had 1 boyfriend in high school (it lasted 6 months) I was able to focus on school and getting good grades. That is what paid off in the end. Dating is for trying to find someone you would like to one day marry. When you are 16 you are too young to be thinking about that. It can wait until you are older...at least out of high school...maybe even college. Be dependent on yourself throughout your life. Make YOURSELF happy. The only person who you can always rely on is yourself. Dont ever let a man hinder that.

you got my point...

Hon, the right man will love you bits no matter what.  I'm 5'8" and weigh 203#.  I'm down from a high of at least 214 and probably more like 225.    My husband told me "You don't have to loose weight for me.  I think you're hot now."   He also told me, "I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep loosing weight.  I don't think I can keep my hands off you if you get any hotter."  So not *all* males of the species are so superficial.....

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