How do you feel when you're at the restaurant?

I read a in a previous thread that a woman in NY felt like people looked at her weirdly when she ordered proper food instead of a salad. I feel the opposit. when I go to the restaurant I somehow feel uncomfortable when blatantly going for the low kcal options (i.e. salad and diet coke) rather than a proper meal.

What about you?

And do you manage to stick to the healthy options without being tempted by all the yummy choices? I find it so hard sometimes.

(ps: I posted this in the weight loss forum as I'm mainly thinking of people that are trying to lose/control their weight)

I feel more self-conscious about how I am dressed or how my kids are acting than what I am eating.  Of course, we mostly go to buffets, so everyone around us is pigging out...

I get the best of both worlds -- I feel self-conscious when I eat anything "normal" rather than the low-cal options because I feel people are judging me for it, but also feel self-conscious when I get a diet coke or if I do order a salad because in my head I'm think people are thinking "Yeah, like THAT'S going to help."

The only way (for me) to get over it is to look at the people around me -- am I judging what they are eating based on THEIR size? No, I'm busy thinking about other things. And people around me are probably dealing with their own issues or enjoying a nice meal rather than thinking about what I am eating.

I feel bad that I'm annoying my friends and BF when my order is picky, but they don't really care. They know that I'm making good choices for a better me.

I have worked in customer service for YEARS. The way I see it, I am ordering food for ME to enjoy. I don't care if I annoy someone if I'm picky. As long as I'm polite and express that I would prefer things on the side or off the dish, I am paying for what I want.  Just remember to be polite. Sometimes I'll say I'm allergic to something in case I think I have a rude waiter (that way my food isn't violated).

i live in california, theres plenty of other jackass's 10x pickier than the healthy crap i order. im sure if i ordered like i do in texas theyd look at me funny.

I went out to eat the other night at a country buffett.  I had a salad, a healthy meal with grilled veggies and ham, and even had a sugarfree dessert.  I was really proud of myself for sticking to my diet and not getting everything else that was there just because it was available and tempting.   I could care less what other people think of me.  What other people think is their problem and something I have no control over, so why should I care?  I do care about myself and my health, not just looking good. 

I do have to admit I was judging other people.  I don't think I have ever really done this before.  I remember looking at an overweight girl who was a couple tables over, eating fried chicken and drinking sweet tea and thinking that she should really get a salad, grilled chicken, diet coke or water.....  Then I felt bad, who I am to judge?  To each their own. 

I feel self-conscious when I'm the only one ordering something healthy, yeah. It happens quite often. I feel like people think "can't she just enjoy herself?" ... I don't judge what others get, but I often think "I wish I could get that without it showing up on my hips in ten minutes". Sigh.

It's funny, I live in a rather wealthy area that is suburban but close to several metropolitan areas. When I request special things at restaurants there's no problem or weirdness at all. I don't worry about what the waiter or waitress thinks because I know how common it is for someone to ask for a salad without the carmelized pecans. 

When I was visiting my grandmom in a more rural area I made similar requests..."dressing on the side", "smaller portion if possible", "no potatoes, extra vegetables instead" and then the kicker, I asked for skim milk for my coffee and the waiter straight up LAUGHED in my face.

Of course, when you walk around my town most people are thin/healthy and overweight people are the anomaly. In my grandmom's town it's rare to see a fit person walking around the streets.

Interesting to see how other people feel. And I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling self-conscious about eating the healthy option (which really doesn't make much sense, does it?) I live in Geneva and for some reason I get the feeling that people are meant to pretend they don't care about their weight (i.e. eat whatever they feel like in public) and then go home and eat on lettuce. XD. But of course, it's probably just an impression.

I'm quite happy with myself. Tonight I went to an Italian, had a great salad with dressing on the side and then shared a dessert. :)

lafoutloud01: I can't believe the waiter laughed... that's quite extreme. Strange how different it is one area to the next.

I'm not real sure why everyone is worried about what other people think.

A wait person is paid to wait on you well or the tip will shrink.

Friends and family know how you eat. Some may not be well mannered, but you know who they are and should just ignore them.

If you are eating with anyone new, they'll just think "oh, (he or she) sure eats well". Anyone that thinks or worse yet vocalizes any sort of negativity over someone's healthy food choices is not worthy of consideration when measuring one's own self worth.

All of you are doing something that is wonderful for your health. You should feel self conscious if you brag about it or try to convert others while out to dinner, but you should not feel self conscious if you just live it.

(edited for a silly typo)

Original Post by lafoutloud01:

It's funny, I live in a rather wealthy area that is suburban but close to several metropolitan areas. When I request special things at restaurants there's no problem or weirdness at all. I don't worry about what the waiter or waitress thinks because I know how common it is for someone to ask for a salad without the carmelized pecans. 

When I was visiting my grandmom in a more rural area I made similar requests..."dressing on the side", "smaller portion if possible", "no potatoes, extra vegetables instead" and then the kicker, I asked for skim milk for my coffee and the waiter straight up LAUGHED in my face.

Of course, when you walk around my town most people are thin/healthy and overweight people are the anomaly. In my grandmom's town it's rare to see a fit person walking around the streets.

wow...he laughed?!? no tip for him!! Better yet, leave a penny, lol...

My husband & I go out to eat at least once a day, usually breakfast, occasionally dinner (as we did this evening) and I always just order w/e I want from the Healthy Way items on the menu ~ or if there are other foods that I already know the calories, I will get one of those.

Most places serve portions way out of control, unfortunately, so I have to be very careful ~ cutting the entire plate in half, eating the grilled chicken & leaving the french fries alone, salad instead of dessert, etc.

I am tempted sometimes to judge what I see others ordering, but I try to remember my own situation & how long it has taken me to do something about it ~ and that keeps my big mouth shut, lol. I have been carrying this extra weight around for nearly 21 years, give or take a diet or two, never successfully losing it for good! So who am I to talk, eh?

It was sad, tho', just the other day ~ we were entering a restaurant for dinner & passed a family leaving, who had two children with them about 6-8 years old, both severely overweight (I would guess about 50-60 lbs apiece). And the parents were not too slim, either.

I didn't want to "judge" them, per se, but I did remark to my husband that there was a family whose children were in for a very hard adulthood if they didn't nip that in the bud!

It really was sad to see that. I felt sorry for all of them.

maybe the family was already losing weight. You don't know where they started from. They could all have just lost 5 or 10 pounds. You did not see what they ate as you said you passed them on the way out. Maybe they had a moderate calorie dinner as part of the new eating pattern for that family.

It's not like the magic happens over night and a fat family is suddenly slim.

That you just don't know is one reason why it's best to not judge - and why you should never accept the judgment of others.

I just try to go for something more interesting than a salad or grilled chicken. Fish, shrimp, a reasonable-sized steak, a bowl of soup or chili, or something that's not obviously "diet food" because there's a reason people think that sucks. Most restaurants do have ridiculous portion sizes, so I split things whenever I can.

And anyone who would comment negatively on you for what you eat is an idiot, and you should feel sad for all the ignorant people in the world and how much they miss out on.

when i'm at the restaurant, i feel happy to be out with friends, pleased that i don't have to cook, and excited at the range of choices.  i don't worry about calories; i worry about deliciousness, and about choosing something i wouldn't cook for myself.

I don't generally order salad because I always feel ripped off by knowing what it would cost to put it together at home (at most a third of the price). I order something real from the menu, but a small portion, and if its got cheese on it I ask for less cheese. I usually get ignored though, and often if I order a meat dish sans the meat part (like a standard breakfast with bacon) they screw it up and bring the eggs snuggled up against the rasher and swimming in bacon fat. I have terrible luck with most restaurants. I'm sure I enunciate the order properly but the waiters invariably bring me the wrong thing, so I have to send it back and wait while everyone finishes their meal before mine gets started.

In a nutshell, I get quite anxious at restaurants, not only because of not knowing the calorie content of the menu items, but in anticipation of getting the wrong order.

I rarely do the 'ole restaurant thing, but when I do I eat what I want (it may come from the kids menu but it's what I want).  Last time I went to a buffet, my boyfriend and I chose to fill up on salad first like we usually do.  This particular time, our college football team came in to eat.  As they walked by our table,  one of the guys says "look this guy must be on a diet." The whole teamed laughed of course.  My boyfriend became so furious that we left w/o eating.  I don't know why it matters so much to some people what anyone else thinks.  My boyfriend is so far away from being overweight.  After this incident, he became obsessed w/ gaining weight - until he finally realized that it affected his basketball playing.  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) this was the end of us actually sitting down in a restaurant to eat where we live.  Now it's out of town or take out. 

I've never  cared about a thought unless it was in my head - no one else's.  Yes, I'm self conscious about how I look and everything. I'm probably my biggest critic.  At the end of the day, I still think I look good and that everything is all about me.  I'm the director, producer, and every other role in my life, if no one else wants to follow my script, then they should find a life of their own so they can be in control. 

On the other hand people at work always see my  lunch and say " I wish I ate as healthy as you."  There are a select few that joke around and say things like "oh, I never see you eat anything besides fruits and veggies" or "what, you didn't bring spinach dip today."  I respond with something just as judgemental like "of course I did, you didn't see it sitting next to your large cup of heart attack and medium sized bi-pass."  We laugh and keep it moving.

I refuse to order salad at a restaurant, not because I feel fat/concious/etc, or because I hate salad.  I just refuse to pay 12-16 bucks for something that I can make better at home, which isn't all that good for me anyway because of the add-ins.  I also don't ask the waiter to make many adjustments.  I will ask for dressing on the side if the meal comes with a side salad, or substitute something for FRIES, but otherwise, I let myself have a day off.  It's good for my metabolism to take a few extra cals, and I burn about 2300 on a day w/ exercise, so it's not like it's going to blow my diet. 

I do follow 4 strict rules though.  I have reduced how often I go out.  I don't eat fast food ever, only sit down places.  I never eat alone, and I never finish my meal.   A shared meal is as social as it is tasty, and I feel like fast food is neither of those things.  Leftovers are great for lunches--usually a dinner entree will be big enough (with a split appetizer), that it will make one large serving for dinner that day, and 2 small lunches when paired with homemade salad.  Otherwise, I split the entree, and share desert with 3-4 people.  A few bites is really all you want of that giant slice of cheesecake, lol. 

Original Post by jannid:

maybe the family was already losing weight. You don't know where they started from. They could all have just lost 5 or 10 pounds. You did not see what they ate as you said you passed them on the way out. Maybe they had a moderate calorie dinner as part of the new eating pattern for that family.

It's not like the magic happens over night and a fat family is suddenly slim.

That you just don't know is one reason why it's best to not judge - and why you should never accept the judgment of others.

Exactly!! That's what I was saying...

For all I know they might have just finished a dinner of salad, dry toast & iced tea!

I would love to see them again a year from now, all at their goal weights...how great that would be for them, eh? But that is precisely why I try NOT to judge what others are doing ~ they might be looking at me in the same way. And I would not want to have to explain to any of them how I've already lost such-and-such, I've had eight children ~ and lost two more ~ w/in nine years, yadda-yadda...

The way I figure it, each person does his or her best...and more power to 'em!!

I went to Olive Garden on Sunday with my menu all accounted for and calories set aside.  I ordered the minestrone, the Venetian Apricot Chicken and I was going to order the fresh fruit dessert (yum!) but I ran out of stomach space before dessert!!!!1111eleven! 

I love eating out, I just plan it better...but next time maybe I will get the dessert first!