Just want to apologise for venting on about myself, I don't want to be one of those people... I'm just DEPRESSEDDDDDdd and need to get it out of my system.. before I go and attack the ice cream.. :\
..I keep thinking I'm happy. I'm comfortable with the way I look, most of the time. People give me the occasional confidence boosts and I'm a size 10 (UK), (6 in US) and I think that's a pretty good size to be. However, I get the occasional remark like, for instance, somebody made reference to me today as being the 'short, fat one', I am short, granted, and I weigh about 130 pounds, putting me on the higher end of the BMI scale, which I'm fine with, as long as I'm healthy.. I don't think I look that bad, but comments like that hurt me and rip me to pieces to be honest. I care far too much about what people think, and I'm willing to admit that. But until the comments stop forever I will NOT be happy. and I know i won't. But what if my body doesn't let me BE the weight that people will stop name calling me for..? Ah, this sucks.
You will be happy when you decide to be happy, and not until. As long as you are looking for outside approval, you will never approve of yourself.
You need to look at the reasons why you depend on outside approval in order to be happy. You will never be able to please every single person around you and there will always always be people around who will make unkind remarks.
I've had guy friends call me fat or my brothers and they just don't understand that calling someone fat (especially women) can really cut deep. If people are repeatedly calling you fat I would speak up because it is not okay or proper ettiquette and it can hurt.
I am sure you are beautiful.
(if you love icecream have you tried tin lizzy cheesecake-omg it is so good.)
UGH I would kill to be her size...is my first thought, but then my heart feels your pain.
I know what you mean about the comments and I know how you feel. But the reality of it all is that you rely way to much on what other people think about you (Im not bashing you Im the same way) and it changes the way you feel about yourself.
I think your at a good weight I just looked at you profile and your picture and I think your very pretty and are a perfect size.
You will never be happy until you realize that the comments dont really stop, the only way it comes close to seeming like it will stop is to change the way you look at the comments.
Maybe the person saying something is batteling something within them selves, or maybe they are jealous of you and the only way they can feel better about themselves is to make someone else hurt, who really knows? All I know is it does suck, but you need to believe in yourself and believe what you say...
"putting me on the higher end of the BMI scale, which I'm fine with, as long as I'm healthy.. I don't think I look that bad"
read the bold together, the words came out of your mouth, just in a different order.
You cant think it you have to know it and truley believe it in your heart, and as long as you are happy with yourself it shouldnt matter what anyone else says, right?
I hope that helped a bit Im not really good at giving advice but I felt I had to....not just for you but for myself as well. (Sorry if it didnt help)
First of all I agree....I would KILL to be you...and I have morals and ethics. Everyone has a different perspective and obviously the person that made that comment has a very skewed perspective. In those cases you just need to ignore them....size 6..in the USA...I'm sure you look amazing!!!!
First of all.. Please don't appologise for going on about yourself. You deserve to. Everyone does =] && That's what we all post for!
What you are feeling is so normal. Before i lost weight I was a size 16(uk) and OVER WEIGHT! People would call me the fat chubby one... The one that has 4 chins. Everything! It made me feel absolutly awful! I thought to myself If I was slimmer I would be on top of the world, the happiest girl ever.
Iv'e now manages to get down to a size 6(uk) && now i get made feel awful because people call me 'Stick' && say things like, 'watch the cracks in the pavement.' Sterotypes are NEVER going to dissapear honey and im afraid it's something that everyone has to live with. At the end of the day don't step down to those people's levels and rise above them. Your the better person. && By the way you are beautiful!! <3 x
Hi there,
This is the first reply I have posted and I am relatively new on the site but there are two things I have realised. People who put you down especially with the weight issue or anything that has to do with how you look are very insecure people and do it to feel better about themselves and their "imperfections". And we are human so what others say to us matters but don't let it make or break your day. The other thing, some people actually mean well, they just don't know how to say it in a way that doesn't hurt. But it all comes down to your own self-esteem and the real reason why you need (so much) people's approval. There will always be someone who doesn't approve or who has something nasty to say. Learn to love yourself. If you feel good about who you are on the inside, it will be transformed to the outside. Otherwise they'll get you up and down--you are too fat or too thin--lose some weight, put on some weight. It sucks! I know because I have been there. Wish you success with that.
About the ice cream, I say treat yourself once in a while and fore go a meal when you do, so you don't feel so guilty after. After all what is the point if you can't enjoy it?
I agree with everything that has been said about being comfortable with yourself and being happy to be healthy.
I have also been trying to learn the skill of being assertive. I try to challenge those kind of cruel and hurtful comments in a non-aggressive way. So perhaps you could take the person who said that aside and tell them that you found their comments very hurtful, especially, because you are a lovely trim size 10, it's untrue. You will probably get a mortified apology, and even if you don't, you will feel that you have challenged negativity.
Even if I feel that I can't speak to the person themselves, challenging the negative comments by writing our a list of reasons why they are untrue is very helpful to my self esteem.
