Weight Loss
Moderators: coach_k, spoiled_candy, Mollybygolly, devilish_patsy, nycgirl


LOCKED TOPIC

I'm so sick of being "the fat one"


Quote  |  Reply

Ok, this is a rant, prepare yourself...

I am so sick of being the fat sister-in-law, fat employee, fat mom, fat wife and fat everything else!It always seems like I am the biggest person around, ( and I used to be bigger) no matter what. As horrible as this sounds I wish I had fat friends, so I didn't  feel like such a failure. Best friend, 95 lbs, sisters-in-law tall and skinny, mom, well she is fat but she is also psycho. I know I am just feeling sorry for myself ( as I am stuck on a plateau)but I am frustrated and cried most of the morning.

If you are still there, thanks for listening!

Edited Dec 22 2013 02:16 by coach_k
Reason: locked to prevent unnecessary zombie bumps. OP last login 2010
24 Replies (last)
hey caroleanne.. i know exactly what you mean.. but i have fat friends.. and they are turning out to not be the best of friends either because they don't want me to be healthy,.. they want me to be the fat one right along with them! 

i'm sick of being this fat too all the time.. but i am doing something about this.. and so are you!  ;)  my plateau just broke the other day so i know it can be done.. it takes time to get through to the other side of a plateau.. but it feels soooo good when you get through it! 

hope you are feeling better sweetie! 
I am here, rant all you want. If you stay with it the plateau will break. I, too, have always been the fat one in my circles so I know what your talking about. But, remember, if you stay with it one day someone else will be the 'fat' one. Then, you can help them if they want it.
Hi sweetie! I know how you feel! Every single one of my friends is rail thin and short! I always feel like the giant whenever I'm around them.  My best girlfriend is barely 5'3'' and weights maybe 100lbs. But she is the sweetest most caring person I've ever come across, and she makes me feel great.

The point is that you need to surround yourself with people who will uplift you and support you, whether those people are short, fat, skinny, tall, burly, whatever. If they're your true friends, they won't care what you look like on the outside, and will celebrate with you when you accomplish your goals. I promise things will get better. You're taking steps to better your life, and that is great!

It's hard, but you'll get through it, I promise. We're all here for you!
Try this, think of a few positive things that set you apart from your friends/coworkers/family members... maybe youre the "cool mom" or the "smart one" or the "funny one" or the "pretty one" (you look VERY pretty in your pictures)... focus on those good things about you!
first of all the 95lbs chick, that doesnt sound healthy.  You are here getting rid of that fat! think positive girl!  you are a beautiful person on the inside and on the outside! 
Ranting always helps me get over stuff too - we don't mind if you vent here! You can do it, carolanne - we all know you can and now YOU just have to know you can!


Hey Carolanne - I wish I could help more, but all I can do is listen, so rant away!

My case is the opposite - I'm the "thin" one - and I'm trying to lose those last few pounds - so I get the other side of the coin - "Do you want to go out for lunch today?"  "Want to go have dinner this weekend?" - etc.  My hubby and kids are slender - as is my sister and brother, but I don't see them.  My parents aren't, my friends aren't...
#8  
Quote  |  Reply
(edit: removed quote)
yeah, I have two rail thin roommates who still go to the gym with me all the time. But I'm the fat one.
I know it's hard because we've all been in that position. I know its
even worse when I'll be out to dinner with my friends and of course-
the smallest skinniest one is ordering the most fattening delicious
meal. [how does THAT work out?! haha] And I'm sitting there with my
salad. Just think about how happy you'll be when you get there, it
takes time. As long as the people who you surround yourself with are
supportive- be blind to how they look, before you know it you'll be at
your goal weight.
Hey there! I know how you feel. Trust me! I was always the bigger one, so I tried to be anorexic, but that DEFINATELY didn't work and it was REALLY unhealthy!! I noticed that all my little skinny friends ate waaaay more than I did and always had a LOT more energy. They started making me eat real food at lunch and then I got more energy. Lately I feel like I've been gaining weight because I've been eating more food, but my friends are all telling me how much thinner I look. Try eating a bit more food with an okay amount of calories and lower in fat. That way you get all the energy you need to burn even more calories and fat. I hope this works for you as well as it's working for me!
You would think it would be easier to be around fat people, but trust me, pick your fat friends wisely!  Fat people who aren't dieting will often try to sabotage your efforts (intentionally or not), and can start to resent you if you're losing weight and they're not.
Well I don't think this is about your friends at all.... fat or thin...
I think this is about self critisizm.  You're angry at yourself
and hurt that you are not experiencing the body that you want to
have.  You ARE however, doing something about it and that is
checking what you eat against some proven information.  You are in
controll... not out of controll.  And it's important to look at
ourselves from time to time and shake that finger at yourself to
motivate you to action or to make sure you're not b.s.'ing yourself...
BUT, you are not doing that when you tear yourself down and shame
yourself the way you are doing today.  I heard somewhere that we
have about 1,000 negative, self thoughts per hour!  So, why don't
you focus on some of the things that you can honestly appreciate about
yourself when this wave of recrimination hits you.  Make a list,
keep it handy, and take it out and read it outloud to yourself until
you feel it.  Because fat or thin, old or young, good lookin or
not so hot... we ALL have wonderful attributes, gifts and contributions
to contribute to life!  You are not the exception to that rule!
 
wow rubiwanda, that was almost mean, I felt like I was being yelled at!
Carolanne: I cannot in all honesty say that I know exactly how you feel, but I can offer words and thoughts of encouragement.  you CAN do what you put your mind to, you CAN focus on your health and your well being.  If you have friends that do not or cannot understand or support that, then its their hangups that are holding themselves and you down.  No one wants to turn a friend away, but true friendship means accepting a person for who they are on the inside and supporting their positive actions towards self-improvement.  I've found in talking with people that the hardest thing for someone to do is balance a healthy focus on oneself with an eye towards the big picture and helping others too.  You keep your nose to the grindstone and keep your eyes on the prize, health and well being !!! 

All the best from the froggette  *ribbet*
I know! My whole family is really fit, and I stick out like a sore thumb. Even all my extended family is skinny.

I keep on thinking of a bumper sticker I saw,
"I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet."

Unlike so many other problems we could have been cursed with, at least being overweight is controllable (albeit with a lot of patience)
I don't think rubiwanda was being mean at all...I think she nailed it actually. Ditto for being the "fat one"...in fact, I have a fraternal twin sister who has always been skinnier. Even the Monsignor who gave us our first communion remarked to my Mom that she must be feeding me with the "big spoon."

But rubiwanda is right...it's not about my skinny sister or about your 95 lb. friends. It all boils down to body image and self-criticism, and we ARE in control of this (most of us, anyway). I think what she was trying to say is that every once in a while it's good to say, "I'm slippin'...better get back on track!" But  self-criticism, making yourself feel ashamed, and really wallowing in the fact that you're bigger than people around you is reactive, not proactive, and will diminish your chances of success greatly. CONGRATULATE yourself for taking control and doing something about it, like counting calories. Most people just sit around and whine that they are fat, but you are taking action.  You've already taken the first step toward busting that plateau because you are being proactive.

I love the idea of making a list of your positive attributes. I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I do poorly that I could work on, but I rarely celebrate what I'm good at. You're a Mom, wife, employee (3 full-time jobs right there)...there are things that you excel at that people miss when you're not around.

I'll start...mine is a smartass sense of humor. What's yours?  
caroleanne.... I re-read my post and am shocked that you thought I was being mean.  I can see how you thought you were being yelled at, because when I re-read the post, I noticed my stern tone.   But, look at the content of what I wrote..... please! 

For clarification, I am simply saying that you are not your weight!  You have  wonderful attributes, gifts and contributions.  I feel so defensive for you because I feel strongly that you were being hateful to yourself and that will only hurt you more.  I want you to feel empowered and see that you are   amazing.... so however I managed to make you feel bad, is the COMPLETE oposite affect I was going for.  Forgive me, and be well!
jtpa1221... thank you for helping me get my point accross.  I
certainly did not intend to come off as mean, and your kind gesture of
clarification was most generous in spirit.  Add that to your list
of attributes, you are indeed generous! 

then do something about it instead of complaining

24 Replies (last)
Advertisement
Advertisement