I have lost 25 pounds and soo close to goal...YET...I am SABATOGING MYSELF!!
Well...I started here on April 3rd 2009 and I have changed my entire diet and do cardio 30 minutes a day 5 days a week. I had this goal in mind that I would drop 30 pounds and on NEW YEARS EVE I would CELEBRATE! It has been a LONG journey and my body has made a TOTAL transformation. Of course I do not have a six pack but I love what I feel and see. BTW- I started at 178 and I am now 153 ( I am five feet 4 inches) as of this morning! SOOO MUCH work to get here....
Anyway- this weekend ALL if have done is eat chocolate donuts AT LEAST 4 of them and McDonalds. I did catch myself though and when I got home I dumped the vanilla icecream down the sink and I threw out the french fries. So I ate two hamburgers.
Why am I sabatoging soo close to my goal??? I went from a size 12/14 to only a size 10 and REALLY want to be a size 8 or 6. I was always a size 6 and feel that is perfect for me.
Anyone else dealing with this sort of thing? If so, how did you get remotivated??? I jumped on the treadmill this morning but now I want a **** donut!!YIKESS!!!
My theory on weight cycling:
It starts with the wrong motivation to lose weight, namely self-hate. You then change your lifestyle in a way that leaves you feeling deprived and eliminates your means of coping with emotional stress (namely, overeating, or eating unhealthy food).
As you get closer to goal, two things happen: your motivation to restrict (self-hate) drops lower, and your desire to comfort eat increases, because presumably it's been a while, and it's not like losing weight eliminates all the stress in your life.
So you start overeating again. Only this time you associate it not only with comfort but with bad feelings, blunting the comforting effect to the point where you sometimes have to go to extremes in order to actually get the effect (like tacking on the serotonin rush people feel when they are actually stuffed).
Next big trap is all-or-nothing thinking - like falsely believing that eating one meal, or overeating for one day, can or will undo a long period of lifestyle change, or means that "you never really meant it". (Thin people overeat sometimes, too, they just trust that their normally healthy lifestyles will take care of any little upward blips in their weight - and that's exactly what happens.) But our formerly overweight person thinks that now that she's "blown it", everything is called off - which is a relief in a way, because this self-denial was hard to take - so she flips right back to the old habits without missing a beat, and gains back the weight as fast or faster than she lost it. Rinse, lather, repeat.
Hi Tomtom: I am almost exactly like you! I started out at about 177 and I'm now at 150 (ish) and 5'5". I started in January though and went through a period just like what you're talking about. I kind of fell off the wagon for a while and although I didn't gain (I was at 160) I didn't lose either. The problem was that I kind of gave up after I had a bad day of eating. For some reason I almost felt like I had ruined everything and there was no point in continuing. Since then, I still have "slips" where I feel ravenous and want to eat everything in sight, but even if I do, I always get up the next day and continue exercising and do everything I can think of to avoid repeating the mistake of the day before. For me, making sure I have something to do always works. If I had planned to stay in the evening,I make myself go out, even if only to windowshop or do an errand early. By the time I get home I"m usually over the desire. About the donut, can you compromise? Have some light chocolate pudding or yogurt instead? Have some fruit and go do something.
Maybe we could keep up with each other. I am also aiming for size 6/8 but I'm about 10 right now. Sure feels great!
Edited to add: I just read Trustwoman's post above and I agree exactly!!! Not necessarily for everyone, but I have experienced this my entire life until recently when I realized what I was doing.
Next big trap is all-or-nothing thinking - like falsely believing that eating one meal, or overeating for one day, can or will undo a long period of lifestyle change, or means that "you never really meant it". (Thin people overeat sometimes, too, they just trust that their normally healthy lifestyles will take care of any little upward blips in their weight - and that's exactly what happens.) But our formerly overweight person thinks that now that she's "blown it", everything is called off - which is a relief in a way, because this self-denial was hard to take - so she flips right back to the old habits without missing a beat, and gains back the weight as fast or faster than she lost it. Rinse, lather, repeat.
^^^ That. I generally agree with trustwomen's whole quote, but that is what I see time and time again, with other's and myself. Don't let an occassional weakness derail all the good you've done.
Here's another issue: By making some food "evil" or "taboo" in your mind, you're actually raising it's reward value for you. Tell yourself," I occassionally eat chocolate donuts, but I usually make healthy choices." Half this game is psychological. Keep your eyes on the prize...
WOW! You just nailed it. The SELF-HATE bit...right on the money. I am VERY depressed and anxious this weekend and BAM!!! I just didn't realize how much of an emotional eater I am.
Its taken me years of yo yo dieting to realise all this. I have gone up and down so many times that I came to a point and realised that losing weight can't be THIS hard.
trustwomens post hits it right on the spot. I am still trying to get out of the all or nothing thinking. Which I have mostly done myself. The best advice anyone can give you is to still eat the things you want, moderate them. If you need chocolate or sweets buy a pack which sells the small serves individually wrapped, get someone in your family to hide the rest and ration 1 a day if you dont think you can control it yourself. Get rid of the all or nothing feelings, it leads to guilt which leads to more overeating I have done this time and time again. Just carry on like nothing happened, I am a binge eater but not feeling guilty has reduced my binges dramatically. You will get there :)
Nardz, I have been telling CCers for a long time to take emotion out of the process to maximize success. Even the good emotion, like pride and joy at losing, should be minimized, because otherwise it's too easily flipped into shame and despair at a regain- and occasional setbacks and regains are inevitable, even if it's a pound or three.
I'm glad you eliminated guilt and therefore your binging! It's an ongoing struggle to minimize bad emotions about eating and weight, and the culture doesn't help of course. Congratulations on your success!
dear trustwomen,
why are "regains inevitable"? i was 172 in Oct2008 and went to 154 - 18 pounds yipee- by August. Plateaued for the next few month and a month ago went up to 158, and can't shake off the weight. Its killing me and I am at breaking pt. aka giving up pt. it took me forever and ever to loose the weight. I still have another 18 pounds to lose to reach my goal of 140.
I hear that. It has taken 7 months to lose 25 pounds and I just never DREAMED that I would not yet be at my goal weight of 145. My scale seems to have started hitting the 157 mark and it makes me SOO UPSET!! I know I just need to dig deep and RE-COMMIT! I need to start exercising more and eating less and keep going. I have for the most part really changed my lifestyle and my eating habits.....fast food DOES NOT TASTE GOOD ANYMORE!! But- I have to say that keeping up with JUST 30 MINUTES A DAY of cardio is REALLY HARD for me. Really!!
I did this too a year and a half ago, and after I misbehaved/sabotaged so much I gained all that I had lost back, plus more. Now, I've started over, but smaller, slower, more reasonable, and trying not to be obsessive so that I don't want go crazy and binge.
The best advice, and the hardest thing to do... is just do it. When you're close to your goal and you start wanting to shirk exercise, force yourself to have enough willpower to exercise, and if you have donuts afterward, make yourself exercise again. Take responsibility for all of your slipups by making yourself exercise each one of them off, sooner or later, the slipups stop being worth it.
Original Post by lamma74:
dear trustwomen,
why are "regains inevitable"? i was 172 in Oct2008 and went to 154 - 18 pounds yipee- by August. Plateaued for the next few month and a month ago went up to 158, and can't shake off the weight. Its killing me and I am at breaking pt. aka giving up pt. it took me forever and ever to loose the weight. I still have another 18 pounds to lose to reach my goal of 140.
An overall "significant" regain is definitely NOT inevitable (as long as one avoids the cycle described previously), but weight does fluctuate by a few pounds naturally. There are sometimes also days when people indulge a bit more - the holidays come to mind. Some days you will see a higher number on the scale than you did before, and the trick is not to freak out. I didn't mean a 10-20 lb regain, I mean the few pounds you sometimes see creep back onto the scale, sometimes just due to water balance or hormonal effects or whatever. You can't let that affect your headspace too much...
Without a doubt trustwoman's comments are right on and everyone else is right on too. One thing to remember when you think you want to give up think about why you really want to give up? Ok you may platue or gain a few pounds heck maybe 10 lbs. but if you give up you will return to the exact place you started - you have worked much too hard for that to happen. I lost 60 lbs. four years ago and have maintained up until 3 months ago, gaining for the first time - and it's only 7 lbs. but anyone who has lost weight knows that even a 1 lb is a huge deal........when I first went on my mission to loose weight I did it because of my appearance, I was not the weight society seemed to respect me at.....it's wild because I loved who I was I never thought I was heavy and my husband never ever hinted to me being heavy (182 lbs at 5'4"). My husband made me feel as sexy then as I feel today.......so my reasonings were completey wrong when I decided to loose the weight. Now I have re-evaluated myself and I do not care as much because I have gained 7 lbs. - oh and I don't want to fool anyone because I have started weighing my portions out again and have increased my workouts a smidge but it's with the thought of being healthy. I want to be healthy!! I want to be active and run with my teenagers - I want to be active and run like mad when I have grandchildren. I have built my self-esteem back up and I love who I am 7 lbs. heavier or smaller and anyone who thinks I'm not picture perfect can suck my *$#. And too - always remember the best quarterbacks have sucky games, the best writters get writters block and one time or another the best of anything has their downs as well as their ups.....act as though you just fell off of your bike - the next day you look at yourself in the mirror and smile - jump on that bike, yet again, and ride like you have never ridden before! You can do it! Always have faith and never stop believing in yourself...
There are a few things to keep in mind...as you lose more it gets increasingly difficult to create the calorie deficit you need to lose weight.
Make sure that whatever lifestyle changes you make are sustainable...for me a large part of my weight loss was from a pretty intense fitness schedule. Then I got a new job, and all of a sudden had a lot less time/energy to spend working out. As a result I have slowly put on about 5 lbs over the last year. I want them gone! So now I have to be a lot more diligent in my eating habits and I am struggling.
your right... your exactly right... its renting space in my head and i need to evict. so what if i gained 4lb. Just re-commit and get back to doing what i have done.
thanks
